ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Can Materialism Destroy a Marriage?

Updated on November 8, 2016

Materialism should not be a Priority

Sharing moments of shopping.
Sharing moments of shopping. | Source
Materialism  can also destroy friendships.
Materialism can also destroy friendships. | Source
Too many expensive items bought to show off their purchases of what you have and of what you don't  possess.
Too many expensive items bought to show off their purchases of what you have and of what you don't possess. | Source
Source
Fancy clothing.
Fancy clothing. | Source

Materialism can ruin many Relationships

Growing up with everything on my plate made me feel somewhat different when I came to live in Croatia.

The different upbringing and the always well-dressed life and good standard of everything in my life back in South Africa.

The change has made me see my roots still matter, and I don't want to lose that part of me not now or at any other time.

I did not marry for money as no money in the world can give me back my once had life but I had to get away to a safer life.

Money can't buy love such marriages eventually fall apart especially, when the main focus is on materialism.

  • For example:

My neighbor married at the age of fifty after a recent arranged meeting he met a woman from across the border somewhere in Bosnia-Herzegovina.

The culture is slightly different in that part of the world in comparison to the Croatian culture. Unemployment is high mostly the unemployed come to Croatia in search of better paid jobs.

Most Bosnia-Herzegovina women marry rich Croatian men to have a better life. In some cases such relationships work out well for both partners.

In this case he rescued her from a very poor standard of life and since she is in her late forties fits in nicely with his age group.

The woman enjoys showing off her valuables to me which find is meaningless to me.

Her life has changed greatly and now the main focus is on what he buys for her and how much she paid for her items.

Be it jewelry or a new cell phone her idea of immediately showing me is her number one way of trying to say, ''I have a new cell phone,'' and in a very flashy kind of way.

Whenever, she purchases a new item she shows it off to me.

  • What would you call a person of that sort?

I don't mind her behavior though it can also be very annoying when I don't care much of what she has or has not.

Money is her key to happiness it is like she wants to compete with what I have which I think is quite ridiculous.

I understand her behavior she was deprived of a good life now that money has solved her issues life looks to good to be true.

They have a priority on spending money and such marriages aren't stable.

There is not much satisfaction in these marriages.

It is more about materialism she is a less-educated person and emotionally immature and is less responsive. I have learned that people who think this way have poor communication skills with their partners often their negativity shows friction.

When two people are not really satisfied with each other in their relationship the marriage becomes unstable and the problems are solved with lavish spending.

Couples in such cases like to own expensive items to show off with or to impress others. Money to them can buy them happiness but when money dries out so does everything else it just fades away.

What these couples don’t pay attention to is quite surprising the aspects of their marriage.

The priority is money and other aspects of their marriage are neglected like the communication, respect, the lack of a solid foundation, and the actual stability of a marriage is not noticed by both partners.

It is sad to see as I have seen and know of this couple.

Couples who don't care much for materialism have more stability and communication in their marriages and is exactly the opposite of those who have high-levels of materialism.

When an individual has been deprived of a good living from childhood they tend to seek another way of happiness.

So personality traits do show their behavior in adulthood in a less-satisfied relationship.

Money becomes the priority when there is not much left to put into their marriage.

I put it down to her personality traits and of her social life.

Her marriage is not stable and the weak foundation of her marriage is causing difficulties.

It is always about her having something new and flashing it in my face. Her way of impressing me and many others.

A first time for me to have come across a narcissistic person such as she.

Her low self-esteem and has caused her to be this way and the poor skills in her relationship has made her marriage feel helpless.

In this marriage both partners are materialistic but what he and she don’t see is the void they are trying to fill and that is their marital issue.

In buying what she likes and wants to have to compare with another makes her feel happiest because the void has been filled.

  • What happens when only one person is the materialistic one?

In such marriages the partner who is not the materialistic one encourages a stable marriage and communication skills are greatly improved.

Couples who shared the different values in a marriage have a more stable marriage.

I see that she is a less-educated person and lived a deprived life and I don't mind her lack of mentality.

We are from different worlds and she is no competition to me.

The problem here is that she does not see that as I do.

  • How would you suggest I deal with her behavior?

  • I often wish her my best and congratulate her for having new items but is there some other way that you can suggest to me?

I am a confident person and have a special character and have opened up in my conversations with many people something she will never be or could do.

Small minds think alike and fortunately, I am not that small-minded person.

I still like to face up to my challenges it makes me stronger and fulfilled.

I avoid big conversations with such people it can become a complicated issue and it is not easy to reason with such people.

I do what I know best and what I know enlightens my life.

I have always been the one that sticks out in a crowd and no can be me only I can be that person.

Love and happiness means more to me than having all that money in the world.

Materialism has a lot to do with the way one is raised their culture and lifestyles.

Knowing that my life was different from her lifestyle it does make huge difference for us both.

Some how I detect a kind of jealousy from her to me not that would turn me inside out.

I am always having my head high and chest out the proud one with no turning back.

Marriage is a great commitment and requires full thought to get into and with the high divorce rate many couples are trying not to get into marriage.

It does not bother me about her irrational behavior it is just the way she puts herself out and shows off her expensive items, materialism is the only life she will ever have a life with her husband.

Materialistic People

How would you suggest I deal with her behavior?

See results

Materialistic People

Materialism is not always the way to go

Writing  is a great stress-reliever for me and I enjoy writing and sharing what I know best.
Writing is a great stress-reliever for me and I enjoy writing and sharing what I know best. | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 2 years ago

      I tend to ignore people like that. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do because even when you try ignoring them, they go out of their way to make you see them. Jealousy is a terrible emotion.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      In a word....yes! Materialism most definitely can destroy a marriage.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      In a word....yes! Materialism most definitely can destroy a marriage.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 2 years ago from USA

      I had heard Croatia is a very Catholic country. As a Catholic, I'd be really interested in visiting, and seeing for myself.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 2 years ago from Lagos

      Many a marriage have fallen deep into the ocean of disaster as a result of materialism. When one marries for the wrong reasons, such marriage is bound to fail. Money shouldn't be a motivation for marriage cos one day you may not have it. Money is good but it shouldn't be the reason. Marriages conjured by such desires always fail!

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 2 years ago from India

      Very interesting article about guys obsessed of materialism and judging a persons' worth on the basis of expensive things and possessions. This is a ridiculous trait. Nonetheless, have a compassionate heart for such guys as they lack such mental set up that gives someone a broader and human outlook. Bereft of rational thinking, their minds hover around self-aggrandizement and vain pride over accumulation of expensive things. Devika, ignoring such people is not a way, rather they must be drawn to the nicer aspects of living through our interaction with them. This person you have talked about is always anxious to show things to you to dazzle you. Shouldn't you dazzle her in return by your value based living and thinking ? Clouds come and go, pouring out rains but the lightening thunders instantly and shines bright for a moment and everybody is stunned. Can someone ignore the grandeur , power and splendor of it ? Such people need to be shown that kind of sparkle and awe when they exhibit their shining diamonds and necklaces. You have penned a very thought provoking hub. I went through it with great interest and read it in one go. Voted up.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ologsinquito you can but you will only know if you live here coming here on a holiday does not make you everything what is on the surface is always the best of everyone. If you ever think of coming to Croatia let me know I would be glad to be your tour guide. A very Catholic country indeed and Easter is one of the biggest celebrations. Croatia moved into the modern stage very fast and people are now looking for a another life the one they did not have twenty years ago. Thank you for stopping by.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 2 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      I think it certainly can. There is more to life than materialistic things...and actually it is those very things that can bring unhappiness!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi jtrader ''Sometimes it is hard to know what to do because even when you try ignoring them, they go out of their way to make you see them.'' I so agree with you thank you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc thank you fro stopping by

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ubanichijioke money is the root all evil and making money a priority problems arise well said and so true thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Harishprasad ''Shouldn't you dazzle her in return by your value based living and thinking ? Clouds come and go, pouring out rains but the lightening thunders instantly and shines bright for a moment and everybody is stunned.'' Well that is exactly what I did at first so that surprised her so she keeps on going at it. I am grateful for you stopping by and sharing your thoughtful comment thank you for the vote up.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      epbooks thank you for sharing avaluable comment

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

      Yes I do believe without a single doubt that materialism can indeed destroy a marriage.

      You've covered this subject wonderfully Devika and voting up.

      Wishing you a great day too.

      Eddy.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 2 years ago

      DDE, I know how you feel because I have a relative that acts like this person you describe. It upsets me to listen to all her nonsense about what she buys and all the high-end clothes she has delivered to her home, because this woman doesn't pay her bills. Her house is in foreclosure, her brand new car was repossessed, and she lives off of others like she is a leech. She doesn't see how her free-spending of money she doesn't have has cost her everything including her dignity. I try to ignore her as much as possible because she really can't see clearly the error of her ways.

      I don't buy name brands for the most part because I have two kids to support. So, I don't care a thing about her new $150 boots or her $350 dress. (That's like 2 weeks of groceries for my household.)

      But at the same time, I try not to let her get on my nerves too badly because I actually feel sorry for her that she thinks this is the only way to happiness.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 2 years ago from United States

      I think I agree with the others that materialism certainly can destroy a marriage or definitely damage it, and I think it can destroy a friendship as well. This is an interesting topic for the this hub as I think all of us have meant somebody like that in our lives.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eiddwen thank you for the vote up and so agree whit you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Pamela99 thank you for sharing your thoughts at my hubs your presence is always appreciated.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello CraftytotheCore I try to ignore her because that is her life and I have mine she can buy anything and show it off to me I am happy for her that she has what could not from before after all she was deprived. Interesting comment from you thank you.

    • PaoloJpm profile image

      John Paolo B.Magdaluyo 2 years ago from Philippine

      I think yes. People have their own limits, and when it reach its peak cause by it, yes, eventually it might weaken the relationship and result into break-ups or worst.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      PaoloJpm thank you for commenting

    • DabbleYou profile image

      DabbleYou 2 years ago

      She came from a different status and she probably feels happier now with all the wealth that she has. But you're right, it can be annoying around people like that.

      Enjoyed your story. :)

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      DabbleYou thank you for stopping by and I am glad you got my point here ''She came from a different status and she probably feels happier now with all the wealth that she has.''

    Click to Rate This Article