- Gender and Relationships»
Can Materialism Destroy a Marriage?
Materialism should not be a Priority
Materialism can ruin many Relationships
Growing up with everything on my plate made me feel somewhat different when I came to live in Croatia.
The different upbringing and the always well-dressed life and good standard of everything in my life back in South Africa.
The change has made me see my roots still matter, and I don't want to lose that part of me not now or at any other time.
I did not marry for money as no money in the world can give me back my once had life but I had to get away to a safer life.
Money can't buy love such marriages eventually fall apart especially, when the main focus is on materialism.
My neighbor married at the age of fifty after a recent arranged meeting he met a woman from across the border somewhere in Bosnia-Herzegovina.
The culture is slightly different in that part of the world in comparison to the Croatian culture. Unemployment is high mostly the unemployed come to Croatia in search of better paid jobs.
Most Bosnia-Herzegovina women marry rich Croatian men to have a better life. In some cases such relationships work out well for both partners.
In this case he rescued her from a very poor standard of life and since she is in her late forties fits in nicely with his age group.
The woman enjoys showing off her valuables to me which find is meaningless to me.
Her life has changed greatly and now the main focus is on what he buys for her and how much she paid for her items.
Be it jewelry or a new cell phone her idea of immediately showing me is her number one way of trying to say, ''I have a new cell phone,'' and in a very flashy kind of way.
Whenever, she purchases a new item she shows it off to me.
What would you call a person of that sort?
I don't mind her behavior though it can also be very annoying when I don't care much of what she has or has not.
Money is her key to happiness it is like she wants to compete with what I have which I think is quite ridiculous.
I understand her behavior she was deprived of a good life now that money has solved her issues life looks to good to be true.
They have a priority on spending money and such marriages aren't stable.
There is not much satisfaction in these marriages.
It is more about materialism she is a less-educated person and emotionally immature and is less responsive. I have learned that people who think this way have poor communication skills with their partners often their negativity shows friction.
When two people are not really satisfied with each other in their relationship the marriage becomes unstable and the problems are solved with lavish spending.
Couples in such cases like to own expensive items to show off with or to impress others. Money to them can buy them happiness but when money dries out so does everything else it just fades away.
What these couples don’t pay attention to is quite surprising the aspects of their marriage.
The priority is money and other aspects of their marriage are neglected like the communication, respect, the lack of a solid foundation, and the actual stability of a marriage is not noticed by both partners.
It is sad to see as I have seen and know of this couple.
Couples who don't care much for materialism have more stability and communication in their marriages and is exactly the opposite of those who have high-levels of materialism.
When an individual has been deprived of a good living from childhood they tend to seek another way of happiness.
So personality traits do show their behavior in adulthood in a less-satisfied relationship.
Money becomes the priority when there is not much left to put into their marriage.
I put it down to her personality traits and of her social life.
Her marriage is not stable and the weak foundation of her marriage is causing difficulties.
It is always about her having something new and flashing it in my face. Her way of impressing me and many others.
A first time for me to have come across a narcissistic person such as she.
Her low self-esteem and has caused her to be this way and the poor skills in her relationship has made her marriage feel helpless.
In this marriage both partners are materialistic but what he and she don’t see is the void they are trying to fill and that is their marital issue.
In buying what she likes and wants to have to compare with another makes her feel happiest because the void has been filled.
What happens when only one person is the materialistic one?
In such marriages the partner who is not the materialistic one encourages a stable marriage and communication skills are greatly improved.
Couples who shared the different values in a marriage have a more stable marriage.
I see that she is a less-educated person and lived a deprived life and I don't mind her lack of mentality.
We are from different worlds and she is no competition to me.
The problem here is that she does not see that as I do.
How would you suggest I deal with her behavior?
I often wish her my best and congratulate her for having new items but is there some other way that you can suggest to me?
I am a confident person and have a special character and have opened up in my conversations with many people something she will never be or could do.
Small minds think alike and fortunately, I am not that small-minded person.
I still like to face up to my challenges it makes me stronger and fulfilled.
I avoid big conversations with such people it can become a complicated issue and it is not easy to reason with such people.
I do what I know best and what I know enlightens my life.
I have always been the one that sticks out in a crowd and no can be me only I can be that person.
Love and happiness means more to me than having all that money in the world.
Materialism has a lot to do with the way one is raised their culture and lifestyles.
Knowing that my life was different from her lifestyle it does make huge difference for us both.
Some how I detect a kind of jealousy from her to me not that would turn me inside out.
I am always having my head high and chest out the proud one with no turning back.
Marriage is a great commitment and requires full thought to get into and with the high divorce rate many couples are trying not to get into marriage.
It does not bother me about her irrational behavior it is just the way she puts herself out and shows off her expensive items, materialism is the only life she will ever have a life with her husband.
How would you suggest I deal with her behavior?
Materialism is not always the way to go
© 2014 Devika Primić