Celebrating Valentine's Day Singles Style: 10 Things You Should and Shouldn't Do to Enjoy it
What is Valentine's Day? Before you laugh, to some it's just another day better known as February 14th. For others, it's about celebrating being in love. Usually, that involved being in a relationship in some capacity.
Since the dawn of time, Valentine's Day has been a blessing and a curse. A blessing for those who celebrate it as part of a couple. A day that two people can celebrate their mutual love and respect for one another. Also, an opportunity for businesses and commercials can advertise how to love, honor and cherish your loved one. Of course, they have the ulterior motive to make a boatload of cash out of the whole experience. Anything that can be done to make more money always helps in the end.
What happens when you're not in a relationship? Single people often felt excluded from this holiday, because society deemed it so. You can send yourself flowers, but people at work would look at you funny for doing so. This exclusion caused a sort of bitterness for being left out while people in love get to have all the fun. It's about time this sentiment gets changed for good. For whatever reason, you're single, but it doesn't mean you're miserable. Come this February 14th, here are 10 things you should do on the big day and 10 you should avoid doing at all costs. Read on to see if any of your itinerary makes the cut.
Dress comfortably. You don't have to please anybody, but yourself. When your ex used to come over to your place, you would make an effort to gussy yourself up for their arrival. Now that they stopped coming over, you don't need to go through all that fuss. If you don't feel like wearing make-up, that's fine. If you want to wear sweatpants, that's fine also. Find your happy medium and stick with it as you find out what your new normal is as a single person. You don't need to please anybody but yourself. Plain and simple. You're single, so enjoy it while you still can.
Find inspiration in music to help empower yourself. If you're a single woman who had her heart broken by a bad guy, listen to some strong female singers to lift you up. Find some Stevie Nicks song to listen to, such as "Stand Back" or "Outside the Rain" to give you the boost you need to get up in the morning. If you need to dance by yourself while you're making some dinner for one, by all means do it willingly. Who cares what people thing? You're alone in your own home, so no explanation necessary.
Eat what you want without any guilt involved. If your last partner didn't like eating rainbow sherbet or clam strips, buy as much as you want and enjoy yourself within reason of course. No need to overdo it for the sake of flipping off your ex in private. There's also no point since they're out of your life. Just go about your business and enjoy what you like without any qualms whatsoever.
Spend time watching movies and television shows that help you escape. When it comes to being Valentine's Day, don't watch something that will remind you of your ex and your failed relationship. Avoid watching your joint favorite movie, or what was once their personal favorite. That will bring up some old wounds that have not quite healed. Focus on watching a comedy or a sitcom to make you laugh. You can also watch a Jason Statham movie to get your mind on someone else other than them. A little action star hunk screen time is the way to go. You can also watch Take This Waltz, which was about a happily married woman (Michelle Williams) who realized that there was more to her life than her seemingly "happy" marriage. She lost her identity and needed to find it again in order to be truly happy.
Search for a creative outlet that helps you find your center. Find a project or something you'd like to try to expand your horizons after the break-up. Take up knitting, writing or even rock climbing. Choose something you want to do and stick with it. Find a new way to cope with your heartbreak and you'll surprise yourself in the end.
Live your life without any fear. If you want to take a walk in the park, it's your right to do so. You shouldn't be afraid to live your life because you're afraid you'll run into the person who broke your heart. Stand tall and keep moving ahead. Let them see that they didn't defeat you after they left. That will be the best revenge to have.
Hang out with friends and have a single's night. Okay, it's official. You've spent too much time alone. You need to call your friends and either invite them over to your place to hang out or to go out to eat. Have some fun with your best pals and that will definitely help to get you out of your doldrums. This opportunity to allow you to be yourself, even if it is only temporary.
Enjoy yourself in even doing the mundane. Have to go grocery shopping or the DMV to renew your license. Make the most boring of trips a fun one. Add people watching to your do list when you're waiting in line. It'll make you smile and laugh quietly to yourself. It also makes the time go by faster.
Break your routine. Do you like the stick to a schedule? Well, it's officially time to rip up your schedule for good. It's okay to have some forms of routine, but you need to mix it up every once in a while to keep yourself and others guessing. Try straying from your routine and see how you like it. If you do, no more schedules.
Be open to new possibilities. Are you a creature of habit? Do you always eat the same things and follow the same habits? Take a chance and try the new Indian restaurant that opened up down the street. Sign up for a class at the local college to just get out and do something. You don't have be skydiving, unless you want to. Take a chance, because it could lead to somewhere new and unexpected if you allow yourself the opportunity.
Don't repeat the past. Cut the cord in order to move forward. If your latest ex-boyfriend, or girlfriend, knocks on your front door asking for another chance, don't give it to them under any circumstances. You might be glad to see them one day, but you'll likely regret letting them in come tomorrow. Your first impulse is to remember the good times of holding hands and slow dancing. Your second one should be to remember the intense arguments you had on a daily basis. Cheating rumors on at least one side. Realize that you were never good for each other and go your separate ways. Valentine's Day makes single people lonely and desperate enough to latch onto the wrong person. Please don't give into that impulse. You'll immediately regret it. It's better to be alone than with someone not good for your health.
Stop looking up any past exes on social media. It's a bad habit that needs to be broken, because the results are still the same. Your relationship ended for a good reason. Your ex might have truly been Satan himself for all you know. No need to stroll down Memory Lane. End the cycle of going back to that emotional well. Block them on social media to prevent yourself from going down that black hole again. Let the healing begin after that.
Never bow down to pressure to go on any blind dates, especially when you're not ready to do so. Your friends and family members might try to set you with someone they know. Don't immediately accept this invitation, especially when you're disgusted with the prospect of dating other people. You'll feel uncomfortable and the whole experience will be an ordeal from the start. Choose on your own terms when it's time to pull the trigger and start dating again. Start small by going out in public by yourself so that you get used to the idea of being alone. Enjoying your company first would allow you the opportunity to like the idea of spending time with other people, especially the opposite sex.
Learn that no one is perfect, especially you. You've made mistakes and so has the person you loved. Look at the PBS miniseries Mrs. Wilson. Allison (Ruth Wilson) thought she knew the man she married, until the day he died and found out that he had multiple wives. Her whole world came crashing down and her memories became tainted at the prospect of her "husband" Alexander's (Iain Glen) lies. Sure, he was a good man who served his country, but he lied to all of his families. Even Allison made a nearly deceptive move to falsify a divorce decree to preserve the lie, or deny it to herself. When the truth stared her in the face, she couldn't deny it a moment longer. Accepting the truth prevents us from giving into our worst impulses. Face it and move on ahead.
Stop looking for your latest ex at their old stomping grounds. Did you and your former partner love to go bowling together? If the answer is yes, don't return to the bowling alley looking for them on purpose. It proves nothing, but making you look silly and that you're still pining for them. If you run into your ex, let it be on accident instead that way you can deal with it your own way. Treat it as a small affair and not a big deal, because it is in the end. The relationship is in the past and it's best to treat it as such. Say your hellos if they're willing and go about your business. Don't let them see you sweat on the inside.
Learn to focus on what you want and not settle for anything less. When it comes to relationships, many people focused on latching onto a person because they genuinely appeared interested. Ignoring the warning signs and alarm bells going off in their heads that this was doomed from the start. If the person you're dating doesn't want to get married and have kids, there's no point in sticking around. Despite your best time and efforts, they'll never change and there was no point in forcing them to see things your way. Find a partner who has the same priorities as you and don't settle for someone who doesn't because you're lonely. It's better to have true happiness than being dating on borrowed time.
Time to put yourself on the forefront, and not the backburner. In relationships, there is always one person who tended to compromise too much. They watched television shows and movies they had no interest in seeing to appease their significant other. Stop doing this to yourself, especially if you're in a relationship. Your needs and preferences are just as important as theirs. Suggest the movie or television show every once in a while to balance the playing field. Focus on what you like to watch and listen to when you're not in a relationship. Develop your identity on its own merit so that you can function better the next time around.
Remember that happiness is in the eye of the beholder. Many people defined being happy by being paired up with someone. That might not be the case. Sometimes true happiness can come from liking what you see in the mirror. If you do, then you're off to a good start. If you're not, time to learn to like what you see.
Finding your groove doesn't mean stepping on the toes of other people. Okay, it's understandable that you've felt a little rudderless after your break-up. No need to wear out everyone around you with how you're feeling. Learn how to express yourself without biting off the heads of your friends and coworkers. Remember you still have to deal with once the dust settles.
Don't hide from your feelings by covering by with meaningless activities. Let everything out in order to move ahead. Write about your feelings and deal with them head on in order to enjoy your life again without your ex. Talk about your feelings and don't sweep them under the rug. It's the best way in order to heal your broken heart and enjoy yourself again.
In the end, being single is not a death sentence. It doesn't mean that you've crawled into a hole to die a lonely death. That newly crowned status just means that your past relationship withered and rotted off the vine. There's a big difference. You might be feeling bitter now, because the break-up did not go down well for whatever the circumstance. You might have been the one who ended the relationship, or you might've been on the receiving end of the break-up. Just know that it's not your fault and life will go on. You'll find another opportunity to move on successfully, but you should focus on enjoying your own company first before starting up anything new. Once your heart has properly healed, you'll be able to develop a newfound fondness for any future romantic attachments with the understanding of what you want and what you'd like to avoid in the future.