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Cheating And Infidelity

Updated on August 11, 2010

Cheating And Infidelity-Who Has The Right?

Who gives anyone the right when it comes to cheating and infidelity?  Is there ever a legit reason or an excuse?  Can someone ever be forgiven for going down the road of temptation that should never be visited?

Does anyone ever have the right to be a cheater when it comes to relationships?  The questions are endless and really I know many are going to say this is an opinionated question and answer and maybe it is.  However if that's the case then I would like to offer my opinion.

The difference we need to understand is rights versus mistakes.  In my opinion absolutely no one has the right to screw around on their significant other.  However people do make mistakes and that's where decisions need to be made.

So now we are going to have a band full of people running around, screwing around and saying it is a mistake.  Well I'm sorry to say crap just doesn't work that way. 

At some point common sense has to come into play.  One other thing I do want to say before I go on with this hub is the entire time I have been with the girl of my dreams I have never even thought of screwing around.  Just so you know this isn't a hub trying to justify something I may have done in the past.

Cheating And Infidelity-Do You Have The Right?

When it comes to cheating and infidelity I don't care what the circumstances are.  No one ever has the right to cheat on their significant other.

Many people will make all kinds of excuses but at the end of the day if you think you have the right you are wrong.  Bottom line is if things are so bad that you need to cheat you should have ended things first.

I know people can end up in very bad relationships and end up cheating out of spite.  My honest opinion on that is it shouldn't happen.

Play your games, fool with the mind and have all the fun you want.  At the end of the day cheating and infidelity is not a step you want to be involved with.

Think about it not as the doer but as the person being cheated on.  You know that know matter how bad things are it will be devastating to be cheated on.  You will be out for someones blood.

The best thing to do is either make your relationship work or get out of it before anyone gets hurt any worse than they already are.

Cheating And Infidelity-Mistakes

So is there such a thing as a mistake when it comes to cheating and infidelity and can these mistakes be forgiven.

Again this hub is my opinion so some may agree and others may disagree and I am okay with either one.  I think it is absolutely for mistakes to happen.  I am not saying mistakes are okay but it really is important as to how these mistakes are dealt with.

As long as we know the difference between a mistake and ignorance.  I dont condone someone screwing around once a month and calling it a mistake.

I will use an example of a friend of mine.  He was working two jobs when the couple were younger.  He was just trying to make ends meet.  Well in his trip to keep money in the bank account he neglected his wifes needs.  She was left alone every night with the kids while he went to work on his second job of the day.

Eventually she had a mild affair with one of his friends.  She did it because she was young and lonely.  She did however feel like crap after it happened and couldnt keep it a secret from her hubby.  She knew she had made a mistake and was willing to take what she had coming at her. 

Well the young couple talked things out and decided to not let a mistake wreck their marriage.  it opened their eyes to a lot and twenty some years later they are still together and more in love every day.

This is a story that could have gone terribly bad but as a couple they worked things out and in this case cheating and infidelity did not win.

Cheating And Infidelity-A Final Word

At the end of the day no one is a winner when it comes to cheating and infidelity.

Oh sure some people may get through it while others will never survive it.  You as a person need to decide if life really is that bad.  If it is cheating really isn't the answer.

Maybe you need to get out of the relationship or better yet see what a bout of counselling may do.  People may be surprised how things can turn out if they are willing to put in a little effort in saving the relationship.

Bottom line cheating and infidelity just isn't worth it.


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    • profile image

      davidsontammy 6 years ago

      There are many forms of cheating, even sexting is considered as infidelity if you are already committed.

    • pmccray profile image

      pmccray 7 years ago from Utah

      Kudos to you Dale: cheating is not a mistake, but a conscience choice. How can it be a mistake with all the planning and lies that have to be formed? It's premeditated so therefore, not an accident or mistake.

      I feel cheating is a character flaw that shows this person is liable to do anything underhanded for a fleeting moments thrill. Consummate liars who feel your life together is not important it's disposable if something better comes along.

      Usually the cheater does not complain about the current union until he or she is caught, so therefore do not work on curing the marriages ills.

      The cheating spouse lies and manipulates your life together, then blames his/her cheating on you. My biggest peeve regarding cheaters is the possibility that the innocent spouse may catch a dose of death due to another's illicit dalliances.

      Excellent subject matter, excellent hub.

    • Dale Mazurek profile image

      Dale Mazurek 7 years ago from Canada

      I just really want nothing to do with a cheater and I know my wife feels the same way. However in no way do we neglect one another. Even if there was an excuse there isnt a reason.


    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      I have to agree, Dale. Cheating on your partner is wrong. If there's an agreement of mutual exclusivity in the sexual contract, such as wedding vows, then cheating is definitely wrong. It makes the person untrustworthy.

      If you're feeling neglected and lonely, maybe the thing to do is talk to your mate about it. If you aren't satisfied with your sex life, maybe the thing to do is talk to your partner about it.

      If the relationship turns out to be impossible to sustain, then the thing to do is leave, not cheat.

    • Dale Mazurek profile image

      Dale Mazurek 7 years ago from Canada

      Thank you to everyone for stopping by. These hubs are strictly my opinion and no researched stats or anything. So much of life is common sense which seems to be getting harder and harder to imagine.


    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      Thank you, Dale, for such a perfectly written hub. These are the very thoughts I have. If you are not happy anymore sit down, like grown-ups, and sort it out. Affairs never solve the problems. I should know, my ex was having them non-stop and I never saw it till now because I didn't have a supicious mind. I was such an idealist and thought if I don't do it, he doesn't do it. ha.

    • lmmartin profile image

      lmmartin 7 years ago from Alberta and Florida

      Not that I condone infidelity -- I do not. Still, humans are just that: human and there are as many views on right and wrong as there are people walking the earth. For some, love and commitment does not seem to involve 'ownership' of another, or themselves.

      Every couple finds their own comfort zone. What I consider the risk is not the sexual dalliance, but the risk of finding yourself or your partner fully involved with another.

      I try not to judge what others choose to do in their lives and concentrate on living my own in accordance with my ethics.

      A nice article, and your opinions clearly work well for you. Lynda

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Mrs. Dale Mazurek is a very fortunate woman and you can tell her I said so.

      Congrats, Dale, on a well-written and apparently from the heart article.