Choosing to be Childless
For many people, they know all their lives that they want to have kids and they cannot wait until they are old enough to make that dream come true. Heck, watching shows about people having babies, some of these are teenagers who just could not wait any longer to have kids and went out and got themselves pregnant.
But there are other people, those who choose to remain childless, that people cannot understand and feel that those who choose to be childless are missing out. I do not agree with this, as I am someone who has never had the desire to multiply and create little mini me’s. I feel that my life is full even without these little mini me’s.
I can’t tell you when I made the decision not to have kids, and I’m still not 100% sure, but at my age and not having a partner anywhere on the horizon, it is not as likely to happen. I remember my mother always telling me that any children I had would turn out like my sister, and this was a major turnoff in regards to having kids (If you met my sister, you would understand).
There was a point in my life, back when I was married, that I thought I wanted children. But in hindsight (isn’t hindsight great?) I think it was more of the, “I am married and this is what I am supposed to do next” mentality. Not to mention, I had several friends that were in the process of having children as well, so there was a bit of peer pressure. Not the greatest reason to have a child, but I am sure there are others who have had worse reasons.
Now that I have gotten a bit older and a bit wiser, if that is possible, I am sticking to my guns on this decision. I always said if I was having children, I would be done by this age, and I still feel that way. I also know that I would want to be with a partner for several years before even considering having children, which does not leave me at an ideal age to have children.
I am perfectly happy and content with this decision. It allows me greater freedom in life and the ability to do the things that I want. While my cats are a bit like children, I can ignore them for a day or two and they do not mind.
Comments
I have never wanted children. I couldn't see the big attraction, particularly the older I got. I had spent 8 years being a Youth Worker ( proof I don't actually dislike them :) ) before moving into the funeral industry. Up until I was about 45 people STILL patted me on the back and said," It's never too late" when they found out I was childless! " That was actually the plan, it's not an accident or a misfortune!" Anyway it is calming down now as I turned 47 and am very happy in my life ... I have freedom that my friends can only dream of. My partner and I travel and can take life as it comes and we love it...
- AUTHOR
You can do many things to cats that you cannot do to children either.. lol
I don't have kids either. I like cats better. You don't have to send them to college; they don't borrow your car or argue with you. I wrote a big list of why cats are better than kids on Squidoo, as humor.
I truly believe that whatever is for you,is for you. I will not say I never wanted kids. But I didn't realize I wanted one til 29 and didn't receive my gift til 33.
I will say kids aren't for everyone,and nobody knows what's for you but you.
Good hub!
My mom didn't want kids, and she had 3 of them anyway. She was a terrible mom. If you don't want kids, then by all means, don't. I know from personal experience what happens when people who don't want kids have them.
- AUTHOR
I agree Christine. And unfortunately, I know some of these people.
Absolutely, motherhood(parenthood) is not for everyone and you should not feel that you need to justify your decision. Pets need people too :) There are some parents who are just awful at parenting and should not have really bothered.
I am the same way. I do not want children and I never did. When I was in highschool all my friends would fantasize about being a mother but I never did. Don't get me wrong, I love children but I just don't want to be a mom. I think a lot of people forget that babies don't stay little forever and it's a lifetime commitment.
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