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Cliché of Love

Updated on June 18, 2014

The beginning of my analysis

Not that I'm looking for someone to blame but I do believe that having surrounded myself with different notions of love has made me what I'm today; a person who can be very cold hearted.

Thinking more deeply into it, I should've been born as a boy, since this profile is much accepted worldwide in terms of a guy and there might have been hope that a kind, spirited girl may have been able to unfreeze his heart. I believe that all cold hearted people may truly appear like they don't even know the word love but at end of the day they're just waiting for that special person who can see through the exterior. When that someone does, he/she will become his/her universe to them; It's given. I also believe that if you were to fall in love with a cold hearted person and that person loved you back then this becomes a strong bond that will require an immense amount of power to break. However it's very unlikely that one cold hearted person can undo another cold hearted person. I'm not even certain if men even think this deeply into relationships. I know girls love to over analyze things in every context.

Don't get me wrong, being the third in the family I've received a huge amount of love not only from my parents and siblings but also from everyone in my mother's side which includes my grandma, grandad (while he was alive), uncles and aunts, couzins etc. We're a closely knit family that can be open and would be accepted no matter how many times we fail in life. It is a love so strong that no matter how much money a person was willing to pay would not be able to receive. It's an unconditional love that comes naturally to them.

Well coming back to the life around me; lets talk about my family starting with my parents. Their life was a complete disaster (from get go) heading in the wrong direction. Not only did they come from different religious backgrounds but they were total opposites who fell in love. Facing difficulties right from the beginning, it's a miracle that their marriage has crossed the silver years and is now reaching it's 33rd year in 2012. Compromising in a relationship went to whole new level with my parents; from my mother having converted her religion since birth, dad being disowned and experiencing the life of a poor man. They had to start from scratch but the silver lining was that my mother's parents still supported them in what they could. it is with their determination to make this marriage succeed that they have 3 kids and have come up to middle class status in life. These years have not been easy on them, there was a time when they wanted to call it quits after 6 years of marriage; however they patched up. My dad mentioned 2 years ago that when he looks at me he's reminded of the fact that how he nearly lost one of the few things he really cherished. My birth was the final link in their marriage. This relationship of theirs, makes love appear in 2 fierce forms. They can fiercely love each other one moment and then fiercely hate each other the next. Though I'm appreciative of their relationship, I don't think I could compromise so much like what they've done; therefore this is definitely not for me. Falling in love with a complete opposite is a no no. I'm looking for a companion in life.

Now let's move on to my brother. He's someone who loves deeply when he falls for a girl. Through experience he's dated quite a handful of them but I couldn't quite call him a player since he develops a long term relationship that often end with scenarios like the girl moves away, different religions where her parents are against and the current problem of having fallen for a girl who's 12 years his junior. Surprisingly this relationship has developed for the last 3 years, though the girl's parents are not aware of the situation. Honestly, I wasn't sure if this relationship would last long since the girl is very young. She's a nice girl and I do like her but when one starts to grow don't they think about if this is the person I want to be with; especially when you haven't quite reached 21? Apparently this thought never ocurred to her and she loves him deeply. Watching them, I've come to realize that loving someone can also cause unhappiness when you're unable to confide to the world about the relationship with confidence.

Don't get me started with my sister. She's a vulnerable, very sexy and beautiful girl. They shouldn't have made sexy girls vulnerable. An absolutely wrong context since they end up getting used big time! My sister falls in love with the thought of love. In the early stages it only took a few sweet nothings for a guy to be with her. She gives her whole self into making the relationship work. I cannot count the number of times she's been hurt or cheated for trusting the wrong man/friend. She's got a beautiful soul, that I really want to protect. I can vouch for this by not just taking into consideration of how caring she is, not just to family but even strangers and if you've seen some of the guys she dated, she takes the 'looks don't matter' into a whole new level.. but luckily (or unluckily) she met a guy, though in appearance wise he's not all there; but he's someone who really cares for her and someone who can even change and accept the things that her previous ex's could not. Then why is it unlucky? They can never marry without hurting the people they love. His parents will absolutely 'Not' accept her religion even if she's a different nationality. My parents with a little bit of coaxing could've worked out. Though it appears to be similar to my parents relationship, the difference is that my sister's not willing to change religions; and so we lead on to the next question, 'what's the future going to be like?' Right now the 2 of them have accepted the fact that they can never be, and the guy is already somewhat engaged to a girl the parents have found. It's sad to see 2 people who really love each other not being able to live together. I really hope and pray that there'll be another guy like him for her, this time where the religion matches or where his parents are not so strict on it.

Moving on to my cousin who's like the sweetest angel I've ever known. She's been a splendid daughter, sister and friend. She's well liked by everyone. This amazing girl met a guy back in the latter part of school. Together they started a relationship with the thoughts of getting hitched and have a 'Happily ever after' romance. But alas, it was not meant to be, her parents found out about the relationship a few months into it and were thoroughly disappointed with his parents, since they had known but had chose not to inform the girl's parents and there's also the tiny little fact that he happens to be a few days younger to her. Even I found the reasons a little absurd. Though I can understand my uncle had his best interests for his only daughter, he should also understand that this is a girl who never once asked for anything in her entire life except to be together with him. They secretly dated and all her friends and us too (the cousins) supported the relationship. However the relationship grew weary when her parents started looking out for prospective matches. Since her father's highly influenced on horoscopes every possible match was followed with horoscopes given to 2 and sometimes 3 different astrologers. Thankfully her horoscope's very difficult and after all these years she had only 2 matches which were not successful. On another note, her mother checked the horoscope of both my couzin and her boy friend, and it was apparently a disastrous match that resulted in the guy losing his life. After making up and breaking up, they decided to call it quits last August. A month later and attempting to move on, the boy realized his woman would always be my couzin. She on the other hand under went a very scary phase where I was very worried she would harm herself. Luckily she did not and instead started working. She's accepted the fact she has no choice but to enter a marriage where her parents are in favour of and therefore does not want to go back to him. She started dating a guy for fun, both that guy and she know there's no future in the relationship but until she's met her match they continue to date as friends. Meanwhile the other guy still waits for her and hopes he'll be able to change the minds of her parents, which is rather doubtful. With their relationship, I've realized that with time, all relationships wear out when they are faced with soo many problems.

And now...after 2 years

Well the good new is that my parents are still hitched and at the beginning of this year my brother has successfully managed to wed his beloved. It sure took some convincing to her parents in relation to the age gap and they are finally in their little world with rings to prove of their relationship. I'm very pleased to see them together out in the open. You can piratically see them shine!

As for my sister as predicted the boy did in fact get married to the lady he was somewhat engaged. He remains in my sister's life as a very close friend. His wife is aware of their friendship and is kind to her as well. My sister remains on the look out for another potential candidate.

My cousin however has obtained her happily ever after. By some miracle she did go back to the other boy and together they've managed to convince the parents especially her father that this is what they want. He dotes on her and she the same. Their wedding date has been set and I can't wait to see them start the life together. What I came to realize from them is that you need to be strong and never give up even if one of them lets go.

I continue to hope for a happy ending for my sister too.

Have you come across a cold hearted female who's world changed when she found who was willing to melt the ice in her heart?

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