Close It Gently...
You came into my life thru my door…
feel free to stay…
but when the time comes that you’ll leave me,
please close it gently…
so it wouldn’t be hard for me to open it
again…
That’s the first letter she gave me after we were officially together. She loves sending letters to me even before that. And I was fond of reading them…made me fall for her more. The deep words and sincere emotions struck me to a deep fall.
“That won’t happen.” I said. “I won’t leave you…”
“If there’s someone leaving, it would be you.” She told me.
I must admit, I loved her and I was in love with her but ours was a relationship that started she was the one who was intensely in love. Or let’s say intensely serious about it. We were young, and pleasure was my life. It was a time of enjoyment while in love, not a serious next level of sort.
But as we breathe the air of cupid, her ways of romance pulled me in a black hole I couldn’t dare to escape. She showered me everything bout falling in love. I was drawn to the spinning wheel of her universe. I woke up one day like I was so attached…
And I woke up becoming vulnerable…just like her, afraid of losing me. I felt scared of facing that time, what if she’d leave me behind.
Just another part of life where everything falls apart… I never noticed, we came to a point where her vulnerability blinded her trust. Her jealousy destroyed it all. Or perhaps, I never noticed I took her for granted. But that’s no reasonable enough to hurt me big time.
She hurt me. And she felt sorry, regretted it. I didn’t know what to do…what to say, how to end things…or whether I should be ending things…But I remembered my promise, I’d close it gently…so did I…
And she was right, if there’s someone leaving, it would be me.
*** a true story
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