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College Educated, Highly Successful Black Women- Don't EVER, EVER Settle For Less In Your Relationships
Yes, Virginia, There ARE Educated And Highly Successful Men Out There- They May Not Be What You Have Expected!
The number of college and/or postgraduate educated Black women are ever increasing. Because of the high level of education achieved, these Black women are in professional and high powered careers where the sky is the limit. Black women are socioeconomically affluent in ways that their mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers were not.
There are some college and/or postgraduate educated, professional Black women who in relationships with college and/or postgraduate educated, professional Black men. This is well and good as such Black men and women have an educational, intellectual, and socioeconomic commonality with each other. They can freely discuss intellectual subjects with each other. They are also more culturally savvy as they appreciate the infinite finer intangibles of life which only college educated people can fully appreciate. They both are accomplished and on an equal parity with each other.
However, there are many Black women who claim that they cannot find a man with the same education and job status as theirs. According to ABC news, approximately 42% of Black women are not married nor in relationships. ABC news report that although these Black women are highly educated and socioeconomically successful, they have yet to find a Black man with the same education and job status as theirs. An ABC news reporter asked the rhetorical questions as to if these Black women are extremely discriminating regarding men.
There are some college and/or postgraduate educated Black professional women who are so alarmed at the "prospect" of there being a small percentage of educated, professional Black men that rather than not to be in a relationship of their choosing, they have decided to lower their standards and start dating undereducated, nonprofessional, service employees and/or blue collar men. These educated professional Black women contend that any Black man is better than no Black man at all.
According to a UCLA study, in 2004, Black women comprise 59.3% of Black students enrolled in college. A U.S. Department of Education study substantiated that 65% of Black women obtained Bachelors Degree which is twice that of Black males. Dr. Anthony Young, past president of the National Association of Black Psychologists maintained that Black women are more likely to attend college and postgraduate study than Black males.
Dr. Young explained that Black men succumb to the negative Black stereotype that college and/or other forms of higher education are outside their purview. Dr. Young added that many Black men feel that a college education would only do them a disservice. Dr. Young also remarked that Black men are seldom encouraged to attend college by educators unless they are outstandingly stellar students.
As a result of a small percentage of Black men attending college, the percentage of college and/or postgraduate educated, professional Black men are very few and far between. Many college educated, professional Black women rightfully lament the lack of available Black men. However, there are some friends who inadvertently advise that these same women who date Black men who are traditionally outside of their purview. These friends reason that a good Black man is a good Black man regardless.
These friends portend that after all, educated Black women have relationships with undereducated Black men either by marriage and/or otherwise . After all, these friends contend that their mothers, aunts, grandmothers, friends, and associates have done this and they are happy. They figure what is good enough for their mothers and other female relatives are good enough for them. These friends assert that if their counterparts were not so picky and discriminating regarding relationships, they would have a good Black man. Oh, come now!
Yes, educated Black women sometimes married undereducated Black men because the racial availability was not wide in earlier times as it is today. In earlier times, educated Black women had to settle for undereducated Black men because educated men of other races did not consider the educated Black woman to be a desirable partner. The reasoning is that although the Black woman was educated, she was BLACK first and foremost. Because she is Black, she was considered quite inferior by non-Black men. In other words, if an educated Black woman did not have a relationship with and/or marry an educated Black man, given the narrow racial climate of the time, she had to just...........well, settle for what she could get.
However, there were educated Black women who adamantly refused to settle for such a relationship. They either married outside their race, accepting whatever consequences may be or elected to be single. These women reasoned quite intelligently that they were educated and they were not about to waste their lives by entering a relationship with an undereducated man. They contended that they were MUCH BETTER than that!
Sadly, there are some educated, professional Black women who are so desperate to be in a relationship with a Black man, they would forgo a more promising relationship with a non-Black highly educated, professional man because she wishes to date within the race. Maybe she was inculcated by her parents, relatives, and friends to NEVER go with a non-Black man, even if he is an educated professional, because such men would only do her harm.
Her parents, relatives, and friends tell her that her expectations regarding meeting educated, professional Black men are totally unrealistic as the number is so small. They tell her that in order to have a man, she has to date and/or marry down. They portend to her that this is the reality in the Black community. If she elects not to listen to them and maintains that she wants a man with a similar educational and socioeconomic background as hers, she is told that she will wait in vain and be without a relationship so to speak.
Many educated, professional Black women seeing no other recourse in the relationship dilemma, reluctantly and resignatedly enter into a relationship with an undereducated, nonprofessional Black man. Obviously, this is clearly a mistake. There is little or nothing they have in common. Oh yes, some people declare that they both are Black so based upon that factor alone, they ought to have SOMETHING in COMMON.
Relationships are often quite problematic anyway. So why escalate the problematical part by having a relationship with a man who is apparently beneath you educationally and hence socioeconomically. Is being in a relationship with and/or having a Black man so important that you that you willingly to sacrifice what could be a fantastic, magical life with an educated, professional man and having a quite dismally mediocre life with an undereducated, nonprofessional Black man?
First of all, many undereducated, nonprofessional Black men do not understand the professional world. To them, such a world is strange and foreboding. The typical undereducated, nonprofessional Black men can be quite mistrustful of any form of education, intellectual and career attainment. He is just content in his nonprofessional job. Naturally, this man does not wish to improve himself either educationally nor job wise.
Such a man does not pursue higher educational nor cultural hobbies. The prospect of attending plays, museums, and traveling is quite foreign to this man. His idea of a good time and relaxation is either sitting in front of a television, mindlessly watching a television show; going out to a bar, drinking and hanging out with his homebuddies, and/or indulging in other mindnumbing activities.
Any educated, professional Black woman who enters in to such a relationship will be at a dead end so to speak. She will clearly have nothing to talk about with this man. While she is excitedly discussing her work day, he will totally be nonplussed and reason why would she want to discuss work. His "logic" is that work is over, so forget about it until the next day.
If she wants to discuss intellectual and complex subjects, such subjects will be over this man's head. He is totally incapable of discussing anything on a complex level. He is what one can call "an immediate fellow" i.e. he can only conceive of things that would only immediately and practically affect him, nothing more and nothing less. Anything cultural and intellectual is not classified as immediate and practical to this man.
In essence, any educated, professional Black woman who elects to enter in such a relationship with this man is wasting her life. Since she is making more than he is, she will assume the majority of responsibilities in the relationship. This man will never, ever be on an equal socioeconomic par with her. She will always be out of this man's league educationally, intellectually, and socioeconomically. So it is totally futile for her to waste her precious moments with this man. It is quite evident that this relationship is actually doomed from its inception.
Of course, there are alternatives if the educated, professional Black woman wants to think unconventionally and outside the box. Yes, there are eligible, intellectual, educated, professional men but they are not Black. I hear some educated, professional Black women taking umbrage at a mere mention of this.
Well, why not. An eligible, intellectual, educated, professional man is just that-race and/or ethnic background should be totally insignificant in that regard. There are many educated, professional Black women who elect to date educated, professional men from other racial and/or ethnic groups. These women have smartly discerned that they have more in common with these men than she would have with an undereducated, nonprofessional Black men who could not offer her the life she is seeking.
Many educated, professional Black woman are going outside the old paradigm that she must only date Black men, even if they are undereducated and nonprofessional just because he is-BLACK! The modern educated, professional Black woman portend that she did not become educated just to settle with a man who will never fulfill her educationally, intellectually, and socioeconomically. She will rather go with a non-Black man whose qualifications would fulfill her more. This woman refuses to settle, believing that she is entitled to the VERY BEST that life and men has to offer. Amen to that.
In conclusion, there are incongruencies in the ratios of Black women attending college and/or other higher educational institutions in relation to Black men. Many educated, professional Black women bemoan the small percentage of educated, professional Black men. Many of them are told that they are not in relationships with Black men because their standards are too high and maybe they should date and/or marry down if they want a Black man.
There are some educated, professional Black woman who do date and/or marry undereducated, nonprofessional Black men because they were told to date only Black men. They were also told that since there are so few educated, professional Black men, if they want a Black man, they have to ..........well, settle. However, there are many educated, professional Black women who refuse to subscribe to this old paradigm. They are electing to find educated, professional men who are non-Black. In essence, race and/or ethnic background is very inconsequential in finding a desirable educated and professional man. Educated, professional women want men of equal status that they can interface with, pure and simple!