- Gender and Relationships
Common Mistakes Single Women Make in Relating to Men
COMMON MISTAKES SINGLE WOMEN MAKE IN RELATING TO MEN
Men occupies a great portion of a woman's thought and time, whether she has a particular special person in her life or none. As a single person, a woman has to be extra cautious in dealing with her attraction towards the opposite sex. I included in this article two of the most common mistakes committed by women in their relationships with men. These mistakes caused further heartaches and downfall to them.
MISTAKE NUMBER ONE :
Single women misinterpret the attentions of the opposite sex.
As a result of the frustrations and desperation sometimes experienced when women want to get married, many singles overreact to any attention from someone of the opposite sex, particularly if that someone is attractive to them. If a man looks at us longer than a few seconds, we women can read all kinds of things to it.
I have witnessed several extreme cases where single women have made fools of themselves by misinterpreting some gestures from the opposite sex and left hanging on to that person.
Now I relate to you the story of a certain woman who suffered intense emotional blows because of misinterpreting the friendly gestures of a man close to her. I will not disclose her real name but this is a true story, let us name that woman as Shiela.
Shiela has been praying for a boyfriend since she was eighteen years old. The prayer remain unanswered till she reached the age of thirty. Shiela is not an ugly woman but could be considered as attractive, she is just a little bit choosy. At the age of thirty, she has never been involved in a serious relationship with the opposite sex. Shiela is an emotionally dependent person, It means that she depends much her happiness on being emotionally satisfied. Although never been in a relationship, her emotions are in constant "high" because of the constant presence of an "object of attention". Her heart is always eyeing for somebody from the opposite sex. If a certain man, who happens to be the apple of her eye, give some gestures of attention, she easily fall for that man. Just some caring words from her crush such as "take care" will make her fall in love.
At age 30, she met Albert (not his real name ). Albert is a handsome and intelligent man,six years younger than Shiela. He is employed as an Information Technology consultant in one of the most prestigious IT firm in the world. Albert is one of the leaders in the Professionals Cellgroup Ministry in their church., she is every woman's "dreamboy". Shiela's heart jumped with joy when one day Albert invited her to have a lunch with him.That is the beginning of their friendship. Shiela and Albert became very close friends. Shiela hangs on to Albert even Albert is not telling any words expressing that he has a feeling to the lady. Shiela centered her attention on Albert ignoring the attention of other men who truly loves her. The friendship hangs on for years until Shiela reached the age of thirty nine and still single. She was nearing forty, and still waiting that one day Albert will propose to her. Yes one day Albert did propose, but to a different lady several years younger than Shiela. And this shattered Shiela emotionally. She almost got an emotional breakdown and took several months to recover. The moral lesson: Never assume that a certain man has a feeling for you unless he tell you verbally the words "I LOVE YOU" followed by the words of commitment " I AM GOING TO MARRY YOU".
MISTAKE NUMBER TWO :
We get physically involved too soon and get too far.
Here is another story of an emotionally obused woman. Let us call her Laura, not her real name.Laura is a separated woman in her mid twenties. Laura just like Shiela, the woman in the first story is also an emotionally dependent woman.. She loves to be "in love" or in an emotional "high" of love. Laura is working as a production worker in a pharmaceutical firm, when she met Roger (not his real name). Roger then new in their company is a single, handsome man in her early twenties. He was an engineering graduate fron the premier engineering school in the Philippines. Tis made Laura admire him more than his manly looks. For Laura is not a woman of great education. She just finished high school with several months of vocational course. Laura is just a petite, fair woman with casual looks. In a few weeks time, Laura and Roger became closer to each other, and not barely a year passedof knowing each other, they found themselves in an affair which involved sexual relationship. Laura got hooked on Roger and hang onto him for several years. Roger was not expressing any commitment to Laura, not giving any promise of marriage, even their love affair produced three offsprings already. Out of that affair with Roger, Laura gave birth to three children out of wedlock. Roger never supported financially any of his child by Laura. Then one day, Laura is shattered by the report that Roger is marrying a different woman.. Roger was marrying his childhood seetheart. The truth shatterd Laura tremendously. She and Roger had gone too far in their affair. If she remained in the affair she will be Roger's other woman now. It is very hurting to realize for Laura that Roger never truly loved her, he was just after her body.
Laura cannot bear the embarrassment brought to her by the affair, resigned from the company where she and Roger were working. Laura now in her forties was jobless resorted only to selling snacks for a living. Roger never supported any of his children to Laura. To cope up with the emotional blow, Laura lived with a much older but jobless man.
The moral lesson of the story : Never involved in a sexual relationship with a man who is not your husband. Sex outside the bond of marriage is not only immoral, it is pathway to personal destruction, both physical and emotional.(Whelchel)