Communication is more than it implies

com·mu·ni·ca·tion

  <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/lunaWAV/C06/C0689300" target="_blank"><img src="http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/g/d/speaker.gif" border="0" alt="communication pronunciation" /></a> /kəˌmyunɪˈkeɪʃən/ Show Spelled[kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuhn] noun 1. the act or process of communicating; fact of being communicated. 2. the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. 3. something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted. 4. a document or message imparting news, views, information, etc. 5. passage, or an opportunity or means of passage, between places. This really tells it all here.... There is not a number 6 but maybe there will be someday. After these 5 things have been done to share with another , the one thing that we all need most is to know we were heard and understood. However even then it becomes that we want the other to change their ways an thoughts to our own... or some people do. A person can quietly, loudly and with tears share their feelings and thoughts...... but that doesn't means the other is going to alter theirs. Most can't feel anger and still understand another views . Many can't even speak when angry, others only share when that way. If I had to add to the dictionary a number 6 , it would be that to communicate is to send information and that it is recieved. We all have our own style .... of everything we do and say..... but wouldn't it be grande if we could share of ourselves and the ones we share with get greater knowledge, better insight, different level of awareness... maybe that should be number 7. That learning new things and ideas would be appreciated and sought after. What I have noticed is many times we are defensive because we think ahead.... on what question another may ask and not listen to the one at hand.... as we think we need to defend some aspect of ourselves. That could be considered paranoid or that we have something to defend or maybe past conversations lead us to know or feel that we are about to be attacked. Could be from past relationships, family or work related issues. Isn't it more fair to each other to look at each convo as a new one and that people are not the same or that each convo can be different if handled differently. There has been times that when someone communicates with me their feelings about me.... that I do get defensive. Part due to that I hold my dislikes about another to myself until I feel I am being scolded for the same behavior or in part due to that is a conversation I have already held with them a few times. Last but not least ...is when they feel what they think about me is more the truth than what I believe is so. Right or wrong I will always believe I know me better than anyone other than God..... for that simple reason ...I am right...in my own mind at the very least. However the way someone speaks to me will dictate if I will listen and learn something new about myself or in general. Out of the many people I have spoken to...I have only conversed with a rare few that are intro-spective about themselves and the many sides of truth that we all hold. We are never perfect but can strive to be perfected..... that takes time and patience and love for ourselves and others.... all others...strangers, family, animals and the differences that make us a rare blueprint of society. When we demand another to comply with our wants ....we are taking their communication away. When we don't want them to feel, think and do what is best for them ..... we shove our existence into them and expect them to exist...happily ....with no respect for who they are and what experiences they may have come across to get to where they are. My rant today is because I fully see one can love another ...adore the other.... and what they want and need or vice versa will not happen due to communication style. What they want or need sometimes does not compliment ours or even worse ....one may have to stop wanting or needing much of who they are to be accepted as the honorable person they are... all due to insecurities they have. Thus when hurt ( sometimes irrational) turns to anger and the communication is turned to antics of anger and aimed at the one they deem is making them insecure...... leaves one to walk away.....beaten and down....but will walk away still... just to salvage self-respect. So much for communication huh?