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Composure is the key to a successful relationship

Updated on September 25, 2009

Composure

    Composure may be the one single trait that enables us to have any successful realtionship; regardless of what type of relationship. Oftentimes, conflict is made worse by us acting on an initial impulse. This is a defense mechanism that we should all learn to quell, when the time is right.

   Not every conflict needs a clear-cut victor. More often than not, we need only collect and organize our thoughts in order for both parties to emerge victorious. Lucidity often comes only after a period of solitude. This is when the regrets are realized, the apology constructed, and the reasons for regret are actualized.

  Think about your last turbulent disagreement. Was it necessary? Was that fleeting momment of "power" worth the strife that it created? Was anything really accomplished?

   I'd bet the answer is no. Reactionary behavior has it's place, but not everywhere.

   The object surely isn't to deliver that one paralyzing blow, those words that make the soul wince in pain. Your loved ones are not your adversaries- they aree your heart and soul. When you aid in their destruction, you aid in your soul's demise.

   Next time that you gave into the eyes of that one special pereson, try to think what it is that you really love about them. Not onnly will this potentially strengthen your bond, but help you decide if you do in fact :love" this person. Concessions and sacrifices are made to please those that we love, while maintaining the integrity of one's self.

    The only true victory is intangible; it's the mutual love and respect that you share. There are two winners or, none at all. Live every moment appreciative of that special someone. This is indeed one of the biggest challenges you shall ever accept.

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    • donotfear profile image

      donotfear 8 years ago from The Boondocks

      Perhaps the hardest thing in any relationship, whether spousal, friendship or other, learning to 'hold back' the impulse to 'spill it all' in an emotional moment is a struggle. I try to apply the Thought/Action/Feeling pyramid (from one of my hubs). Doesn't always work but at least I'm trying!

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