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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Courtship, Sex, and Marriage
Courtship is important before marriage as partners use the period to learn and understand each other better. However, one thing that has always been a problem to some people is if sex should be part of the courtship. That is to say, some people wonder if it is better to have sex before or after marriage.
Well, it depends on those involved in the courtship because sex means nothing to most people especially now that it seems that sex has nothing sacred to it. Therefore, sex is easily shared by most people. Moreover, most partners usually feel that if someone they met was previously involved in a relationship then sex was most likely involved in the previous relationship. Therefore, they may feel hard done by if they are denied sex.
A girl may choose to deny a new lover sex based on experience especially when such a girl was left by another man after having sex with her. Therefore, she can rightly think that any man that comes to her is after same sex. Consequently, there are cases of courtship/relationship that ended just because one of the partners, usually a girl, won’t allow sex until marriage.
In most religious settings, it is wrong to have sex before marriage although most people easily ignore that aspect of their doctrine. That is why some religion/churches do not wed a pregnant woman as it is against their belief. However, let us assume that one decides to obey such doctrine. After all, a pastor once said that a couple met him for counseling because they don’t know anything about sex.
Then another problem may be the fear of how well one knows one’s partner. This is because some people started having problems after marriage because one of the partners claims that the other could not satisfy him or her sexually. That is when some people, tend, use such term as “he is not man enough” among others. Some people complain that their partners do not show interest in sex or is always so tired for sex among others. It is not everybody that can tolerate such partners and that is why some people may seek outside their marriages for satisfaction.
Does it mean that one has to prove his or her sexual abilities/orientation during courtship to avoid such problems? If yes, then how can such evidence be provided or made obvious?
The whole thing may look complicated that is why some people came to the conclusion that marriage is like a bag of which one is not suppose to know its content. It is only after you have bought the bag via marriage that you can see what is really inside the bag you bought. One only has to pray that one’s bag contains something good and admirable when opened.