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- Romantic Intimacy
Creativity Tips For Love Relationships
I write this article from my own personal experience. This photo is a picture of my husband and I in Jamaica, a trip we took in celebration of our 30th anniversary. That was a couple of years ago. We are grateful that we have succeeded in weathering the ups and downs, the good times and the bad, together.
Sadly, statistics show that the divorce rate in the United States is 50%. That means that your relationship is as destined to fail as it is to succeed. Why do so many marriages go from the bedroom straight to the courtroom? What are the secrets of long term successful marriages and relationships? Is it that the successful couples found the absolute perfect mate? Maybe, but remember, no human is perfect; more likely that they found someone special and focused on the good qualities and built the relationship around those qualities.
Flexibility is always necessary in any relationship. People who are inflexible will always have difficulties in maintaining any quality relationships or associations. The old saying, "life is not always fair", is something that we all must learn and come to accept. It is critical to move past what is wrong in a relationship and work on how to make it better. Too many are willing to throw a relationship or marriage to the curb thinking that the next relationship will be better. They just need to find the right person. The reality is that without work and care; the next relationship will probably end up another huge disappointment.
Still in Love
What Have I Learned in 34 Years
Now, let's assume that we are in a committed permanent relationship that we want to keep fresh, alive and loving. Every day life can get in the way and become a stumbling block for even the most successful couples. What are some creative ways to keep the spark lit and life together fresh and exciting?
There is so much information and advice on relationships that I decided to sift through it all and reflect on the ways in which my husband and I have not only made it together for 34 years; but also that we still actually like each other. I don't use the word love, as even unhappy couples may love each other, but liking each other means you are comforted, happy and secure in each other's company. It means that you enjoy each other while giving each other the room to be who they are, unconditionally, warts and all.
I have sifted through a lot of information on ways to keep a relationship alive and healthy. I am speaking from my own personal experience and share what has worked for us.
Respect - we are each very different human beings with different needs, desires, intellects and personalities. Recognize and acknowledge the differences and respect each other for the individuals you are without focusing on every little imperfection; we all have them. It is too easy to allow ourselves to place too much emphasis on the imperfections rather than take a look and reflect on all the good qualities in your significant other. Many relationships have gone south simply because neither partner could see past the small stuff that really didn't matter anyway.
Open Communication - we each need to have the ability to communicate our needs, desires, likes, dislikes and feelings openly. Keeping feelings pent up inside will eventually lead to a volcanic eruption and hurtful things said that may be permanently damaging. Make a conscientious effort to be able to calmly and rationally discuss anything and everything so the foundation does not crack and split.
Commitment - each must like and respect the other and be willing to be completely committed to the time and nurturing needed to grow together.
Creativity Tips For Couples
- Surprise - every once in a while a bouquet of flowers for no reason or a gourmet meal with a bottle of wine and candles upon arriving home from work is a thoughtful surprise.
- Compliments - make sure to make your partner feel special by letting them know their efforts are acknowledged and appreciated.
- Make time to keep dating a part of the relationship. Even if it is taking a lunch to the beach, the mountains or any other special place and simply enjoying each other's company.
- Talking - always make sure you share with each other things about your day. Find things you both have an interest in and enjoy conversation with each other.
- Affection - make sure you make an effort every day to show each other affection. A kiss on the cheek when leaving or a simple hug when getting home each day takes no time but speaks volumes.
- Never retire for the evening angry. Try to talk through the issues and end your day peacefully.
- Touch base by phone at least once during the day. It re-establishes the connection each day when our lives are so busy.
- Inquire about each other's day and really listen and be interested in what kind of a day your partner had. Be willing to be a sounding board when one had a particularly bad day. It shows you care and are interested.
- Don't let yourself get lazy about your appearance and health because you don't have to worry about it anymore. Both partners should make a concerted effort to be attractive to each other.
- Try to do things that your partner likes to do even if it is not your favorite thing. There always must be compromise and flexibility to make the most of a relationship.
- Make sure to spend as much time laughing together as possible. Do things and enjoy life together. Laughter is good for the soul.
- Don't point fingers and blame each other when something does not go as planned. You are a team; the good, the bad and the ugly.
- Make sure that you let each other know what your likes and dislikes are. Your partner should be the person you most trust and can confide in. Never breach that trust. Don't discuss your annoyances or spats with friends and families. Don't belittle your partner to others.
- Make time for the relationship by trying new things together.
- Let your partner know that they are the most important person to you.
- Make sure that your sex life is satisfying to both of you and be willing to share your thoughts and ideas in regards to making sure both are fulfilled. Intimacy is a healthy part of a successful relationship.
All of the above is made to sound easy but in reality, real life sometimes does not allow us as much time and energy to do the things necessary to keep the spark alive. When two people truly care about each other, sometimes the partnership hits a bump in the road. The key is to go around the bump and keep on going.