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Crying Men

Updated on June 19, 2013

I recently read some answers to a question on forgiveness from a fellow hubber and it got me thinking about crying as an alternative to anger.

An old saying - the other side of ANGER is SADNESS.

A family member (who will have to remain anonymous) seemed to be the angriest person I have ever known and recently took me to task on something I did more than 10 years ago.

The truth was, not even their facts about what I had done were correct. He had got into trouble and asked me to help him out so he could keep his business afloat. I did follow through but I put a limit (even though I was gaining financially from the deal) on the time I was prepared to do what was required. I didn't just step out but let my brother take over and he got the benefits anyway.

Looking back I would not have put such a limit on things but my wife at the time advised me to and I (stupidly in hindsight) took her advice.

But keeping one person happy put me in a stew with the family member but I honestly didn't expect the grudge to last for over 10 years! My goodness - who lives like that?

Well some people DO LIVE like that and that is really SAD because this is not what I would call living so much as POISONING yourself with ANGER!

WHY do it?

ANGER has a lot going for it in terms of how COURAGEOUS it can make you FEEL - while men can derive a great deal of strength from ANGER - the alternatives - CRYING and SADNESS - especially in some cultures - seem not to be admissable.

But what is WRONG with CRYING - more specifically, what is wrong with MEN CRYING?

I've seen the most powerful of men (including presidents) crying so it can't be that bad, can it?

Do men crying look unattractive to you?


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    • profile image
      Author 4 years ago

      Good to see you TKI ! I rarely cry and usually it's music that makes me cry. Generally, I've got this thing in me (from early in my childhood) that I never let things get me down or allow bad depressive thinking to enter my head. We have a choice so why do it to yourself?

    • toknowinfo profile image

      toknowinfo 4 years ago

      I think any man who earnestly expresses their emotions, and creates an environment for open communication, makes it better for everyone involved. Crying is a natural human expression, but society imposes unnatural 'rules'. I also think it is worse when women cry to manipulate the situation, yet society says that is okay. There is more dysfunction than function in the world and it is a sad comment on the human race. It is no wonder things are the way the are, and it is miraculous things work out as they do. I hope with all that you are going through, and have been through, that you allow yourself a good cry. It is cathartic, well deserved, and a healthy thing to do.

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      Author 4 years ago

      Yes, drbj, so true my friend, it is natural but soon beaten out of us for the HARD and UNYIELDING persona - at least in some circles there is still a place for a tear or two from a man. Good to see you as always!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Crying is a natural emotion, pd, but our culture appears to penalize folks of the male persuasion who indulge in tears. That video montage of crying guys was interesting and I think I noted the actor, Clark Gable, among the teary heroes. Even when crying he looked good.

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      Author 4 years ago

      I have to agree with you Harmony -the person in question who inspired this hub is pretty scary I can tell you! Thanks for dropping by.

    • HarmonyLinn profile image

      Harmony Linn 4 years ago from Some strange soap opera USA

      No way! Men who don't cry are scarier. That means that they are holding in a bunch of feelings that will manifest in some other way, like punching! Crying is honest.