My Current True Life Events
Beginning Date: 12.16.2014
Greetings and salutations reader,
I once heard to write something good and meaningful is to write what you know. Well here’s what I know:
I am 19 years old, married to an allegedly a drug addicted felon who is currently incarcerated for recent supposed-drug related charges. I know in my heart and through very deep fact finding research, my husband is innocent for 7 out of the 8 charges. Divided into quite a time span include case one: 5 charges, 3 of which are indicted class c felonies the 2 other charges being misdemeanors he is not currently indicted on. Case two: 1 charge, an indicted class c felony. Case one date of offense took place October 5th, 2014 and immediately he was abducted; abruptly ripped away from me without even a kiss goodbye.
Case two date of offense took place on February 20th 2014, neither my husband nor the passenger were arrested, however a case was then opened October 31st 2014 for this offense. On January 15th 2015 they opened a third case on my husband with 2 charges, one indicted class b felony with the other an indicted class c felony. Case three date of offense allegedly took place August 19th 2014 a case was then opened in January.
The one charge he is truly guilty of out of 8 is driving while license revoked. I know who I fell in love with, who I want to spend my life with, who he is. All other charges are nothing more than that, charges- accused events that did not take place as well as do not exist further then the imagination of the prosecuting side.
Prior to any heartbreak, confusion, law involvement or accusingly drug related happenings- we fell in love, just as you fall asleep, first slowly then all at once. I’ve known this extraordinary loving man and father, for 5 years and secretly crushed on him the entire time without my knowledge of him doing the same for me. I met him through a family acquaintance of my Mom’s while he was living alone in a one bedroom terribly built ugly apartment complex. A few years later, I became the babysitter for his then 6 year old daughter, Jerica. Up until I became a legal adult on March 15th, 2014 our relationship was strictly professional. Only then did he allow me to know of his crush for me, slowly allowing me into his heart as he came into mine with ease.
The man I know is nothing like the media and even his so called friends portray him to be. It is highly sickening to see just how people act after one leaves the common population. Every one person swearing up and down that they’ll be there, help in any way they can just to turn around and not only whisper behind your back but stab you in it too. My stomach turns at the thought, let alone fact, every bit of it happens on a day to day basis and not just to me. Truly heartbreaking how people treat one another, especially after you’ve not only done yet have been nothing but helpful, loving and caring towards them all up until done wrong.
However that is not what this story is about, this story is about how one feels when a loved one gets abruptly ripped from your life. As well as the little things most may not want to or even think of mentioning; how alone you feel, helpless and lost in the deep dark desert without a flashlight or so much as a friendly helping hand to guide you to light- to better, to you're okay. As every day passes you can’t help but crave the hope one day it will be okay, that you can and will make it both individually and as a couple. Yet you silently only self admit you know in your heart, that hope- day by day it will slowly dwindle until finally, there is no more not only do you want it back, you need it.
This doesn’t mean you give up on him, yourself or your relationship, it only means you want that something back to hope for, that someday it will be okay isn’t enough anymore.
I read somewhere hope stands for Hold On Pain Ends; but when, when will it all be okay; when will that friendly hand appear to guide you back to your okay, where is the end? The dictionary defines hope as: to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence, to believe, desire or trust. I choose hope against hope- defined as to continue to hope, although the outlook does not warrant it. I still have not figured out if you’re stubborn, stupid or just plain ignorant for keeping this single hope or if you’re unwilling to admit you’re choosing to be oblivious to it. Well for me in particular, I’m choosing both.
I am stubborn because I don’t see a need to listen to societies accepted “normal” in any sense thereof. I am stupid because I know so very little compared to the vast range of what I wish I knew, and plain ignorant for ignoring my previous emotional and physical scars from pain with what they should and/or may have taught me. I am unwilling to admit I’m choosing to be oblivious to that single hope but yet am choosing to hope against hope. You see, I’m stubborn like that.
A miracle happened on February 6th 2015, they allowed my husband to leave his cage in hell and aimlessly wander back to me. With a court approved third party as well as his inked promise to pay the court, he walked out the gate straight to my waiting arms. Make no mistake it is beyond absolutely amazing to have him back with me, though the dispiriting knowledge of him having no choice but to go back and serve whatever bullshit sentence they see fit is the direct definition of depression.