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DIVORCE-THE SEPARATION TO NO DEGREE (My Testimony)

Updated on July 11, 2011

Marriage "Theme Music"

WHEN LOVE HAS LOST IT'S SHINE


Crisis,Challenge or Relief?
Marriage is a hell within itself; but love and respect is a must for the divorce. Keep in mind the person you married "is not" the person you are divorcing. People grow apart through no fault of their own. Remain friends through it all and look back on your special day with a smile. Bittersweet memories for us all. ©2008 courtesy of PFP

Don't get me wrong....I loved my husband. I married what I thought was someone whom loved me and shared my dreams as I did his. Like many others I fell for the hook, line and sinker routine. I saw warnings in which I chose to ignore and the biggest one was the omen called my wedding day. God sent me warnings through the thunder that roared so loud....you could not hear yourself think. He opened up the sky and sent violent rain and very strong winds that raged throughout the night sky. When we where new to our relationship, I felt as if he was the mirror image of me. The mirror lied!! Just like in sleeping beauty. This is the reason I don't believe in fairy tales. They get you all pumped up for your prince whom is nothing more than a frog. Now, I am not saying he was the only culprit in this sham of a marriage...because I am not the marrying kind and I knew that going down the aisle. I am a firm believer in women's rights. To be honest my family and friends never expected me to marry. Some called me ornery.I wouldn't go that far as to say onery; but I will say after spending most of your adult life answering to no one will tend to make the process of becoming some one's wife somewhat difficult. Especially when your husband is possessive. I understand that I had become his; but I was still my own person. A woman whom had made her own way in the world with the help of God. Therefore, I was not accustomed to someone telling me what to do. If someone paid any attention to me he was coming unglued and felt as if he was being disrespected.

No one and I mean no one was going to disrespect my husband especially if I had anything to do with it! This was not the case. However, when my husband's female clients where coming on to him...he told me it was just business. Anyway, another day and a another story....life was getting to be complicated but I hung in there. I loved that man; but the truth of the matter was he did not truly love me. So this was my experience with marriage and my advice to women or men out there considering marriage. Do your homework. Dig under every rock because there is a snake lurking and it's better to find it before marrying than after. Had I not challenged and counter-measured....I would be ruined completely. When it comes to matters of the heart we all know it becomes a game; a game that takes two to play and one to win. GAME OVER. Therefore, it's okay to give your heart away; but keep your head on straight, most of all keep on trusting in God because these are the most valuable tools that will save you when love has failed/lost it's shine.

It will never cease to amaze me the power love has over a person. I have no regrets for loving nor marrying him; because the experience was very powerful and enlightening. The Word of God is very clear about the unequal yoke: Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

I am much wiser and....I'm Still Standing. Life is what you make it. Karma is a b****; but God is the wind in my sail and he keeps me going through it all. So yes, Divorce, is definitely my choice. I will no longer sleep with the enemy. I will be forever humbled by the experience. Therefore, this is my testimony as a survivor of shame, betrayal and neglect. I can honestly say "What doesn't kill you...makes you stronger." My advice to anyone suffering through a bad marriage or a bitter divorce...HOLD YOUR HEAD UP....God is not finished with you, yet. All things come together with a purpose for those who glorify "God!"

I produced the following video in an effort to deal with the demons of my marriage, to reconcile my past with my future, my wrongs with my rights, my love for my losts. For a man that never was and never will be....Keisha Cole...pinned this just right...."I Remember". Through her music I was able to identify and translate my pain through this video; but the one thing I least expected was....."I freed myself." God Bless.

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    • SweetMocha-Monroe profile imageAUTHOR

      SweetMocha-Monroe 

      7 years ago

      Thank you Mother Flo this is why I chose to write this article in order to educate and inspire. Marriage is not something anyone should enter into without putting God first and it does not work if only one believes. So please free to use it for counseling. God Bless

    • Mother Flo profile image

      Mother Flo 

      7 years ago from freedbycalvary@yahoo.com / or write to Author at P.O.Box 13603 Macon,GA 31208

      I enjoyed your article and I will most definitely, upon occassion, as a pastor and marriage consultant, share it with those preparing for marriage. According to scripture, God did not at the first, entertain the thought of divorce; -but later included it due to the hardness of the heart of man. It takes the work of the Holy Spirit to educate you, strenghthen you and prepare you for such a walk as written: The sanctified wife shall sanctify the husband. I believe this was written less everyone who was married to an unbeliever before their getting saved should leave the unsaved spouse. Yet, by the same token, what you have said is true... Don't go out looking for a husband and omitt the #1, muturality that makes the foundation solid, -CHRIST. Yet, God did also include scripture for your peace and deliverance, "..If the unbelieving husband departs, the wife is not under bonds...." concluding with, you are free to marry and that only in the LORD. I am sorry that you went through such a trying of your faith, -But I believe your testimony of "It made you stronger". Stay prayerful and May you continue to grow in God's grace.

    • SweetMocha-Monroe profile imageAUTHOR

      SweetMocha-Monroe 

      8 years ago

      Thank you for your comment and I agree divorce is not okay. However, it takes two to make a marriage work. The truth of the matter is...this man is not for me. He does not have the love of God in him and I cannot live with that. I will not live with that. Anyone who can speak of God with such venom is evil and has no place in my life. He's abusive as well. I will not believe God want this for me.

    • djbraman profile image

      djbraman 

      8 years ago

      If you had had love and respect in the marriage there would be no need to work so hard to have it in a divorce! We need to get back to biblical principles concerning the marriage covenant! Divorce is not okay and if we can instill God's order of the marriage into couples it wouldn't be such a hellish institute, read the Four Anchors, the family hub!

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