Dating Before Marriage - Why is it Important?
It has been eight years of my wedding and the intimacy between both of us have only grown in these years. Indeed! Eight years is a good deal of time to spend together and develop understanding for each other. Today, I can read many thoughts going in his mind even if he does not tell. We do quarrel at times like every other couple does, but makes it sure to settle the issue before the day ends. No carry forwards is the mantra to enjoy the married life to its utmost.
Adjustment is a key to a committed relationship. Not all of us are ready to get into such relationships as we often consider adjustments as costly compromises in life, but if you want to have someone in your life who is always there to support you in good and bad times, you actually realize that the deal of making trivial settlements on personal level was not bad either.
I agree that spending the entire life with someone with whom one is not compatible can be difficult, and it is important to enter into a relationship of marriage only if you are sure whether the person whom you want in your life meets your expectations. The only way to find a right person for yourself is by dating him/her before marriage.
Dating before marriage is essential as it helps to take one of the most important decisions of life. Only then, you will be able to select a right person as your life partner.
Dating before marriage is often referred to as courtship because both the individuals decide to meet each other on a regular basis not only to understand each other but to reconcile the meetings into marriage.
Are you compatible with him/her? Things that help you judge
Here are a few ways to check how connected you feel to the other person:
- Clear communication - Convey your needs to the next person without hesitation. Clear communication is important to avoid any emotional complications in the future life. It also offers room for another individual to speak directly about his/her need and if the relationship will work in the future. Effective communication is a key to define expectations from the relationship in the future and to be able to derive the realistic response from the other party. As Milton Erickson said, "The effectiveness of the communication is not defined by the communication, but by the response."
- Have guts to disagree - Always agreeing with what the next person says will not help to showcase your real self to the other person. It will only leave a negative impression on the other person. Also, there is no hard and fast rule to agree with every statement of the next person during your courtship period. It will only make you the victim of the circumstances, and you may only end up making compromises in the future. Also, your courage to show disagreement proves it whether you are an honest person or a hypocrite. Looking for the same qualities in other person helps you decide whether you are compatible with that person and if things will work in the right direction after marriage.
- Understanding - The understanding between both the parties is imperative to a successful married relationship in the future. Dating before marriage allows developing an understanding for each other. One of the criteria to judge your compatibility with the next person is to develop a kind of knowledge that allows to predict the apparent response or action of the next party. Believe me, it helps.
- Harmony between body and speech - The best way to judge the next person is to judge his or her harmony between the expression and speech. It helps to learn whether the next person is a truthful individual or pretending to be someone who he/she isn't.
What are the essential parameters to judge whether you are compatible with the next person or not?
How dating helps before marriage?
- Dating is essential to understand your partner better for future references.
- It allows the couple to focus on their future requirements and what they expect from the relationship so that there are no chances left for conflicts after trivial things in the future.
- It is important to learn about the backgrounds of both the individuals and also about their struggles and achievements in the past. Even it allows both the person to share about their past relationship experiences.
- Both get to learn about the prospects of each other. The ambitions and goals they have in their lives.
- Courtship period is a golden period of the life when the couple spend quality time with each other that they always cherish in the future years of life. They also get to learn about each others likes and dislikes and it makes a real difference in the future.
- It is a time to strengthen a bond between each other for going steady in the future.
In spite of the emphasis on dating before marriage, a lot of people decides to get married without spending enough time with each other before the wedding. Such relationships are often short termed, and divorce becomes the ultimate result of the accord.
So, better date before marriage than suffering for a lifetime.