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Dating Sites: Where a Million Princesses Wait for Mr. Right

Updated on September 5, 2011

"I don't care how long your tongue is!"

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"You're not Brad Pitt!"Not a web-cam aficionado we suppose!
"You're not Brad Pitt!"
"You're not Brad Pitt!"
Not a web-cam aficionado we suppose!
Not a web-cam aficionado we suppose!

Dating Sites Don't Help Men

Unless you are a double for Brad Pitt, your surname is Beckham, Rooney or Wales, you men have little hope of meeting a mate on Dating Sites.

For the longest while, I thought it was all my fault: I was too old, too ugly, not rich; I had nothing, in fact, that was of interest to the 40 or 50 women I contacted.

Not that any of them bothered to write and tell me why or even thank me for my kind interest in their mug-shots or their badly worded and mispelled (in the main) descriptions. One thing that was for sure, though, is what they appeared to be after: friendship, humor, someone to share long walks along a moonlit beach, a dog or cat lover, yammer, yammer, yammer, had little or nothing to do with what they really were after.

As I say, I thought all the fault was mine and, if I were the type, might have become quite crestfallen about the situation. But I don't often do crestfallen, I just forgot about trying to meet someone this way.

Then I accidently found a whole slew of threads on Google with men complaining of the same treatment on "Plenty of Fish," and other sites. They said, in the main, what I had begun to suspect: That any half-way pretty girl gets hundreds of emails from blokes slavering over her lips and boobs, cunningly showing. Whereas blokes - unless they are like any in the opening paragraph - might be lucky to get a couple of replies in six months - of the gnaw the arm off variety.

The curious truth began to emerge. Women don't contact blokes first, unless they are Mr Pitt, etc., and what they are really looking for is someone younger than them in the UK, land of the Toy-Boy, (Yes you ARE!) and cute so they can show off to their friends. Or, of course, someone with big bucks to show them a good time.

So they sit and wait with their profiles up for years, fending off the horny legions who only want one thing from them, or are genuine, normal guys just looking for a date or a partner.

And what is so sad is few women meet Mr Right, either. The Rights of the world - comely young 6-foot, plus, males with plenty of sheckels and a permanent erection - get their pick of nubile young things with which to tarry and marry, and these jet-setter 10's don't need dating sites, either, they just go to Annabelles or another top club and women throw themselves at them! Or they get plenty of introductions from family, friends or work.

The majority of people that could benefit from dating sites, (discounting the sex-maniacs), especially in middle and older age, are folk who are alone and need a companion. Although they might not look like a film star; have the money of a ball player, they might have tremendous personalities, be great companions and modest providers. They would probably be loyal and true with the ability to make any woman looking beyond the superficial very happy indeed.

I have been on one date in two years from a dating site (POF). She was a beautiful older woman of my own age, give or take. The first thing she did was sneer at my 8-year-old car and tell me some long story about one prospective mate who had the termerity to turn up in a van. How awful! She slammed the door in his face, well, I should think so! (bitch).

We spent two days together, ate out all the time (In the Windsor area!). We did try sex and it was on offer, but I was too stressed and pissed to perform very well. She smoked constantly, stayed semi-drunk all weekend and lived in a condo with no furniture but ghosts (she said). Lucky I was an older, well experienced bloke - a younger man might have become a mysogenist for life.

Nevertheless, I think she does have some good qualities (if you owned a restaurant near her house you might really appreciate her) so I won't "name and shame" her.

It's just that women's expectations are far too high. And even if you don't, sweetheart, like the look or sound of the blokes contacting you, do, if they write a polite, considered note, reply and thank them. You never know, that frog emailing you today might turn into the prince who wins Lotto! (Anabelles here I come!).


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    • Faryaa Khan profile image

      Faryaa Khan 5 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan

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    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 5 years ago from North Texas

      Interesting that you think women's expectations are too high and unreasonable. Most men care only about age and looks. Why shouldn't women look for a man with a nice bank account when all he wants is a beautiful woman he can ditch when she starts to show her age? Seems to me they deserve each other. Both are shallow.

      Smart women know (remember, I'm a psych major and I know these things) that you always let a man approach you first. If a woman has to make the first approach, it's because he just isn't that in to her. If he isn't that in to her, he will never value and appreciate her.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Thanks for great comment, SD. Problem is I'm too old but (it) won't lie down! I love (loved) Aussie women. The great love of my life was Banjo Patterson's great-niece, Helen W.......Her dad had a property up on the NSW/Q'land border and we visited ...fine memories. She is in the USA somewhere now. Bye Bobx

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 6 years ago from Australia

      Bob that's just the most hilarious story! I've had a rant about POF in one of my Hubs too, I thought I was spammed using that site, too much contact to even read through all of the weird messages... I think you've been using the wrong dating site! Where I live here in Sydney there's a local Australian website that just about everyone here that's single uses, and I've met boyfriends on there too, I would say you'd have more luck trying a dating site which is local to your area rather than a big global dating site. And you're right in saying women want to be contacted first... Now all you have to do is win them over. With your vibrant personality I'm sure you'd do it no problem at all :) I really enjoyed reading this Hub!

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Thanks for all comments, guys, great and amusing. Sorry not to have answered individually, under some pressure this week, will do better Bob

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

      Interesting read about your experiences with dating sites. With my luck I would end up with the Yorkshire ripper and 6ft or 3ft down under lol.

    • profile image

      datingtoday 6 years ago

      I think dating sites are worth a shot & some have luck & others don't.

    • profile image

      Lady_Tenaz 6 years ago

      I am so sorry you have had problems with POF. I have known a few friends of mine that met their husbands on that site. Which I found astounding since a lot of the guys that frequent that site are the young, concieted men looking for a booty-call. But obviously there are a few out there looking for substance or my friends would be out of luck lol. I learned a lesson years ago ( as a teenager) when I used to play around on a phone chat line called "The Party Line" that people can pretend to be anyway they want to be but when it comes to meeting them in person its a whole other story. Unfortunately I have seen people put their best foot forwards and later find out that they were nuts! lol ---Lesson, always be careful on any website chat, phone chat or even pen pal for that matter. And if its meant to be, it will be. "Que Sera Sera"...Good hub my friend! ;-)

    • profile image

      writeronline 6 years ago

      Geez Bob, have you never heard the line "looking for love in all the wrong places"?

      Not that I'd know of course, being a happily married man; to my first wife and one true love (just popped that in to piss you off..)

      But I have a divorced friend, who just happened to mention the other day that he's given up on dating sites.

      Reckons "you just gotta get out there in the arena, get up close and personal".

      According to him, it doesn't have to take long though, to land the woman of your dreams, or at least 'the lay of the day'.

      He's got a chat-up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of his league a woman might be, this is a guaranteed drop-dead winner, and he always ends up in bed with them...

      "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?"

      Whaddya reckon, Bob?

    • cathylynn99 profile image

      cathylynn99 6 years ago from northeastern US

      you could never be a misogynist. you are much too humane to all living things.

      i tried a dating phone service once. i was overweight (due to medication side effects) at the time. that seemed to be what all the guys wanted to focus on. they didn't care that i was a professional, compassionate, sexually open-minded, had a wide variety of interests. as soon as they found out my weight (i wasn't grossly obese, even), it was sayonara.

      my husband, whom i met at work, married me while i was overweight. i proceeded to become thin, but am quite satisfied that he loves me for the same reasons i like myself, and that should i become disfigured in an accident, he would stay beside me.

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Guys...I should add, in case you were weeping for poor ol' Diogenes, I had four wives and another four I lived with for years, have 3 kids and 4 g-kids, plus another 100 or women who were so auditioning, so i really can't complain. Women are soooo shrewd, i think they see right through me Bob

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 6 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Hi Bobbi (thought you'd gone?), Will and Sophia. Sophia, maybe you got all the male wasters and me, the female ones! Thanks Wil...snowy nights in Arizona? (Yeah, I know). Bobbi. I guess I don't know how to use these sites and I hate them all anyway, (cept you and Sophia and any other female commenters)...Bob xxx

    • profile image

      Sophia Angelique 6 years ago

      Well, my experience of dating sites is that men want sex, and they want it yesterday. Oh, they might be willing to trade friendship, and want something long term, but they still want sex, and they won't invest in friendship, on the off chance that it may lead to sex... and you see, that's not friendship.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Personally, I am fed up with long walks on sleepy garden paths and cuddling by a fire on a cold snowy night.

      When do we get to the good stuff?

      Cool Hub, Bob!

    • BobbiRant profile image

      BobbiRant 6 years ago from New York

      I certainly like ordinary guys. But women, up to age 40, still think they 'need this type or that type' but finally, later on 'get it' if they have an ounce of brains. But some women's brains are in their chests. Dating sites is not much more than a meat market. I doubt any will meet bill Gates, Zuckerberg or any other millionaire on the Internet to date.