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Dating advice and tips for shy girls: Dating made easy for shy and introvert women

Updated on September 7, 2013

These dating tips for shy girls hit issues like feeling nervous before a date, not knowing what to talk about and not knowing what to wear to impress guys. Unlike senseless glossy magazine columns which talk about the impossible task of completely changing yourself as a person from a shy introvert girl to an extrovert diva, this post talks about advice which is real and practical. Find out how you can shed your nervousness and enjoy dating by embracing your shy and introvert personality.


Don't try to blend in by crushing on the loud alpha male. He may be grabbing your attention but his wild ways will never suit your personality.
Don't try to blend in by crushing on the loud alpha male. He may be grabbing your attention but his wild ways will never suit your personality. | Source

1) Don't crush on a typical alpha male or the bad boy

A heartbreaking mistake that a shy girl can make is to go crazy for a crush who is an alpha male. This may never work out because the loud and extrovert guy will probably get bored of the introvert girl's quiet personality.


So stay away from dating the bad boy and instead, go on a date with a shy guy or someone who does not have the loud and brash personality.


2) Don't expect fancy and crazy dates

Assuming that you have a date with a guy whose personality is similar to yours on many levels, don't expect him to take you out to fancy places. Lavish dates at boutique restaurants may not be his idea of enjoying a cozy date with a girl.


Expect him to ask you out on more down to earth dates. For example, he may take you out to the movies on a Friday night instead of asking you to join him at a nightclub.


3) Look nice and dress well, but stay within your comfort level

A shy or introvert girl may not be as comfortable as a woman who is a complete extrovert to pull off a strapless little black dress and sky high heels. If you can relate to this, take note of this advice because the last thing you want is to feel uncomfortable about wearing clothes that don't suit your personality.


Here are some basic tips you can use while getting ready for a date.

  • Wear a push-up bra
  • Don't go too heavy on the makeup – us natural products that blend with your own skin tone
  • Don't wear tops with plunging necklines if you aren't comfortable with a guy staring at your cleavage while you have dinner
  • Limit your accessories – a non-accessorized natural look is quite in vogue
  • Skinny jeans are evergreen and a very safe bet because they will compliment almost any top
  • Avoid maxi skirts if you aren't unsure of pulling them off from a style perspective
  • If you've got geeky glasses, flaunt them with a straight hair-do – many women crave to carry off the geek look


4) Open up your conversation horizon: Don't be afraid to talk about your interests and likes

The old dating rules which dictate what you shouldn't talk about on a date, no longer apply. If you think that your date is as intellectually inclined as you are, don't shy away from picking up a heavy conversation even if it is about the latest political drama or the newest gadget release.


You will never find out if you are really compatible with a guy unless you speak your mind out, whether it is about geeky stuff or a heavy business oriented discussion. Conversing with him about stuff that interests you will give you a fair idea about whether you both have something in common or not.


Call the guy and show him your true colors. Talk about how you are shy by heart. His reaction will instantly let you know if he is your type.
Call the guy and show him your true colors. Talk about how you are shy by heart. His reaction will instantly let you know if he is your type.

5) Tell him that you are shy by heart: Don't try to hide your introvert personality

Hiding your shy personality by putting up a fake facade may be a way to mislead and impress your date, but in reality you are just setting yourself up for misunderstandings and complications.


You will look odd while you pretend to be an extrovert. Embrace your introvert personality and coyly tell you date about it. If the guy is genuine, he will appreciate the fact that you were honest about it. And for all you know, he may be a shy guy too and you both will make the cutest couple ever.


6) Don't be pressurized into doing something that you don't want to do

As easy as it sounds, saying no doesn't come naturally to everyone. Women who have a shy personality may find it hard to muster up the courage to say no when offered something or asked to do something.


While on a date, you must shed this inhibition and feel free to say no when you think that a guy is asking you to do something you aren't comfortable doing. For example, if he wants to take you out to a nightclub and you don't feel like it, don't be afraid to turn his proposal down. Or if he asks you to drive over to his place on the first date, something which you are comfortable doing, say no.


It is better to say no and walk away from a situation than to be stuck in it, regret later and bear lifelong scars.


A drink too many can not only ruin your date but an embarrassing mistake can scar your dating quotient for a long time.
A drink too many can not only ruin your date but an embarrassing mistake can scar your dating quotient for a long time.

7) Watch your drink: Don't overindulge

A drink or two may help you loosen up on a date but one too many can ruin your date and cause major embarrassment. Overindulging can make you do stupid stuff. You may end up kissing a guy on the first date or you could start an embarrassing drunken rant.


The whole episode could get worse if you find your pictures and videos all over Facebook the next morning. Just be yourself and watch your drink.


8) Be expressive on the date: Don't think too much or overanalyze the situation

Girls who are shy typically tend to hold back on expressing themselves to their date. This includes holding back on flirty conversations and over-thinking about each and every minute aspect.


Remind yourself that it is totally okay to speak out and be expressive in all other ways. If the guy wants to date you, he must like the real you. So stop overanalyzing every second of your date and if you have the urge to say something, say it.


9) Avoid a second date if you are having second thoughts about a guy

A shy girl may find herself trapped in a volatile relationship if she continues dating a guy who she is not comfortable with. Her reserved personality won't allow her to speak up while the extrovert guy's dominance will suck her into a deadly whirlpool.


Remember this tip and don't agree to go on a second date if you don't find yourself comfortable with the guy from your first meeting.


10) Stop comparing your dating life with the extrovert girls in your friend circle

Comparing your love life to that of your friends is like comparing your own personality with others - there is simply no point. You will only face pain and depression if you chose to go down this route.


Instead of making comparisons, enjoy the uniqueness of your dating quotient with your guy. Don't worry about what others are doing, simply immerse yourself in the innocence of your love life.


Feeling nervous? Why don't you keep your first date casual and invite a few friends along?
Feeling nervous? Why don't you keep your first date casual and invite a few friends along?

11) Take a friend along: Make it a casual date

Are you too shy to go on a date all by yourself? Take a friend along with you. And let your date know about this from the beginning so that he doesn't see it as a nasty surprise. Here's how you can tell him.

  • I totally forgot that I had told my best friend that I would go shopping with her. Do you mind if I bring her along so that we can all hang out together?
  • My best friend has just broken up with her boyfriend. Is it okay if I bring her along with me? I think she needs to get out of the house.


This is a great way to keep your date casual and calm your nerves. The company of other people will instantly put you at ease and set you up for a more relaxed second date when you and the guy can be left alone without any hang-ups.


12) Don't feel pressurized to go on a date: Avoid random hook-ups

Introvert and shy women often make the mistake of looking at being single as a bad thing. This puts unnecessary pressure on them to go out on dates even when their heart says no. If you can relate to this, put an end to all these fake dates and start listening to your heart.


If you think that you want to remain single for a while, don't shy away from saying no when you are asked out on a date. Enjoy your single life and wait for the right person to bump into you.



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      Jennifer Parker xoxo 

      4 years ago

      I LOVE this article. It's positive and realistic; I feel better now about being an introvert and actually having some sort of a romantic future...

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