Dating for Introverts - Tips on Getting Started
It might come as a surprise to many, but introverts are people too. Which means that, in spite of a need to be alone to re-charge their batteries, these folks still want to have meaningful relationships with people, and relationships of a romantic nature are by no means excluded from this list.
I've been discussing introverted lifestyles with a bunch of people lately, and the issue of dating has come up a bunch, so I thought it would be fun to give it some attention.
Extroverts might not realize this, but dating for introverts is not exactly easy, mostly because getting out and socializing takes a ton of energy and is often something that introverts avoid. This makes meeting new people kind of tough!
So where can introverts meet new people?
Because the prospect of going out to a bunch of parties, mixers, and singles bars may not be all that attractive, I invite introverts to consider the following places and activities as some alternate means by which you may meet other singles:
- Through work or school
- Through clubs, classes, church groups, and volunteering projects
- Through online dating sites
I've also noticed that a lot of my introvert friends who are in relationships or married met their significant others in their youth and childhood, so perhaps you might consider your existing pool of friends and acquaintances when contemplating potential, er, mates... or whatever it is you humans call your romantic partners.
Which would you prefer?
Are you a fan of the "opposites attract" idea?
Should introverts date extroverts?
In some essays and books on introversion I have read, it is suggested that introverts and extroverts make particularly good couples because each person provides a bit of what the other party lacks. While extroverts help to introduce introverts to new people and ideas, introverts help extroverts to slow down and recoup. With this in mind, I encourage introverts to not be afraid of dating extroverted types.
That said, I know a lot of introverted couples who really enjoy being with someone who understands their need to be alone, so if you would prefer to hunt for primarily introverted people, here are some online dating sites that cater to more introverted clientele:
- Nerd Passions - A dating site that connects users based on shared passions (and features a whole lot of geeky ones!)
- IntellectConnect - A dating site that emphasizes brains over looks
- Alikewise - A dating site that connects people over a shared love of books
- Science Connection - A dating site for professionals in the scientific community
Keep in mind that mainstream dating sites such as Match, eHarmony, POF, and OKCupid also harbor a LOT of introverted people.
Are you introverted? Where do you find good dates?
Are you introverted? How do you go about dating?
I'm going to be perfectly honest here- I don't date. I think the prospect is horrifying. So... I am not exactly the expert on this subject- I'm just opening this thread for general discussion.
So if you have any recommendations on dating for introverts, I would love it if you shared them in the comments! If you're dating, tell us how you deal with the stress of going out and meeting new people. If you're in a relationship, tell us how you met this fabulous person. And if you're married, share with us where you found your beloved significant other!
If you're pressed for time, you COULD just weigh in in the poll to the right. Whatever works for you!
If you come away with anything, though, know that as an introvert, you're not alone. There are lots of fabulous people out there, and the right person for you is only waiting to be found.