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Dating is The Dumbest Form of Having Fun

Updated on October 7, 2019
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I attend the University of The Living. All my education comes from first-hand experience's life throws my way.

Is Dating Overrated?

There is no exact way of importing what is being felt, into a yes or no answer. It appears I am going to have to break this entire scenario apart for others to feel what is in me. Being a delicate topic, I have no intentions of babying it. But somewhere in all this, I will give an answer to the question: Is Dating Overrated?!!

Artist Unknown
Artist Unknown

Topics I Am Going to Cover

The Ex said the grass would not be greener on the other side if I divorced him.

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Online dating vs blind dates vs naturally

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Finding a compatible partner or being a spinster for life

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To give up, or to hold out hope.

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Can I answer my question on rather dating is overrated?

Is the Grass Greener or No?

After 31 years of marriage, I walked out. It took a few times to see it happen, but I finally managed it. The very thing though, that the soon to be ex-husband continued to wail in my ear, was how the grass was not greener on the other side. It was an illusion of what I hoped it would be like, but I would see.

Guess what?

He was wrong! The grass IS greener on my side. Being able to explore every state, while making friends and acquaintances across this great nation, has been absolutely amazing. Of course, this also means I have met the pains in my butt. That is part of truly living though.

I love the greener side of this life. After years of full dedication to my three beautiful adult children, it is now my turn to see what awaits me out here. There is still much more I want to dabble in. However, this does not mean I do not want to settle down. As a matter of fact, I have been settling down since the marriage ended. It has been done differently than what society thinks. Which confuses me. Society thinking does not help my world spin.

My bills are paid. There is money in my pocket. My car is bad to the bone. Driving as a trucker has had many up's in my favor. Yet, dating has not been my top priority. Why?

This green grass my feet walks upon as a single woman is allowed to go on as many dates as I decide to. One time, I went on as around twenty dates in a few short months. None of those lead to even a single hand holding, let alone anything intimate. Still, this does not stop society from thinking you are working that green grass with a man in, a man out. It is easy to admit this has left a feeling of worrying about what others could be thinking about me.

No one deserves to be thought of as a slut because she is single to date. The ex mentioned "all the men" in my life at our divorce to the judge. I know it was a low blow, but I know him like the back of my hand, and he was feeling what he said. Truth is, there have been two men that were serious. In four years. Believe it is safe to say that does not make me a slut. And I regret neither of them.

All I know is that it is safe to say the grass is greener on my private property. Yet have I answered the question on rather dating is overrated or not? I do not think so.

How About Online Dating?

Oh yes. The lazy way of dating because no one socializes anymore except in bars. And for a short while, I was part of this rapidly growing money-making industry of hope, and despair. As far as now, it is not something I want to entertain myself with again. I rather let life work in my favor with my love for socializing, meeting new people, and allowing things to happen naturally. A quick essay on who I am, does not give a reader much to go on.

Rather Not Try At All

If honesty is what one is seeking in this article of mine, then here it is. I had rather be a spinster for the rest of my life, then to settle for someone who can not provide me all that I am seeking in a person. I did not leave 31 years, to turn around and walk back into old habits. Although I did with one relationship that lasted for two on and off years. I did not see what was happening, but now that it is over, it has me re-evaluating the world of dating. It is the relationship that has sparked my question on dating and if it is too time-consuming for me. Here is a prime example of how it is.

The blind date from hell ...
The only blind date that I have been on, was not set up by anyone. We talked on that dating site I belonged to and met at the bowling ally in Tallahassee, Florida. No photographs, no phone numbers and before we even had the chance to enter into the building, he informed me he had a new ax in his car (literally pulled that info out of thin air), as we walked side by side. Stopping cold turkey in my tracks, I in return told him I was a carry and conceal woman, and left him standing in the middle of the parking lot, as I climbed into my truck. (For the safety cautious people who may ask, I drove around in the parking lots of major companies for about twenty minutes. Then headed home. I not stupid!!)

One date after another has been like this. This is why I decided long into the journey of hoping to find my last lifetime love, I would not settle. And so I stopped looking. Stayed to myself. And that is why my relationship of two years began. He came out of nowhere. Now it is over for many reasons not worth dredging up, and I find myself finally able to say that I do not care one thing about dating. Or finding the last love of my life. I am so perfectly fine with who I am as a person that if I want to date at a later time, it can happen. But turning down offers is not making me feel like a spinster either. Life is too much fun to stress over small stuff such as love. Although deep down, I do hope for it.

Love in my life is abundant. From friends to family. Even my sister's animals love me. I am happy. I am content. I like my life. My grass is growing perfectly without chemicals. Suppose this answers my own question. Yes. Dating IS overrated. It is almost a waste of time in today's society of people looking to see what they can get from someone else. Whereas me, I am looking for compatibility I have never fully, and truly, had in my lifetime. It will happen on its own though. If it is to happen at all.

Since dating is overrated in my humble opinion, so is hoping someone will come along. With that said, when compatibility is felt, I will not close the door. Never know what life is about to hand me. As long as I have no expectations, I will not be hurt in fading hopes.

Will I Discourage You from Dating?
Heck no! Get your booty out there. IF that is what YOU want to do. All I hope for you, is that you do not try to hard. Do not offer out to many expectations on other people and do not sway from who you know you are, and what you deserve to have in your life.

Is Dating Hard After 48 Years Old?
Absolutely not !!!! Anyone who thinks they are not good enough and will settle because of their age will always be lacking the full extent of the love they deserve.

My Answer ...
Yes! And No!

Dating is too big of a hassle in my life to go out with a multitude of people. Desperation is not my forte. I have much in my life going on that is worthy of my dedication.

While love is beautiful, and with my full support of it, why must I run around in a circle looking for it, when I know at the right time, it will show up?

My dating days are over. Until it is not. :) And that is my final answer.

I Am Happy With Myself

Artist Unknown
Artist Unknown

© 2019 Julie

How do you feel, or did you feel, when you were single and dating? Was it over rated?

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