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Dating, not as easy as it sounds....

Updated on April 18, 2012
Ah young love!
Ah young love!

Who said it would be easy?

I would have never thought when I divorced over 10 years ago that 1. I'd still be single and 2. I'd really still be single. I would have bet large amounts of money that I would have either been remarried or in some long term relationship very happy and committed. Wrong.

I am shocked by the dating world at this age and what it is and is not. How it seems to be a bunch of adults fumbling around trying to do what should have been easy earlier on. Not sure how it got so complicated to do the same process, but I know age is a factor. The fact that I am not willing to tolerate a bunch of crap now that I would have back then is a huge difference.

I am also not willing to have someone tell who or what I should or need to be. How I need to behave, talk, dress, act or not laugh so loud. It amazes the snap judgements made during one date either breaks or makes a relationship. I myself try not to judge anyone so quickly and even giving a bad meeting a second chance just in case it was just a bad day.

I recently was told I was too pretty, too passionate and they had never met anyone with my drive, energy or insight. Like that was a bad thing? That I was too smart, too deep, that I had a craving for knowledge and a zest for life unmatched by anyone they had met thus far. All I kept thinking was you're kidding me right?

I have worked most of my adult life to become the person that I love and admire and here a strange man tries to tell me this is a bad thing. That I'm too much for him and that he doesn't want to think so much or be challenged to think. Wow what a disappointment.

I vented last night with dear friends over my frustration with the dating scene. How men don't seem to get the fact that we have more to offer than just our bodies. That immediate gratification is just that immediate and meaningless. No I will not sleep with you just because you take me to dinner and compliment me. I don't care how much money you make and where you have traveled to doesn't influence my decision.

I know I am ranting but geez it would be nice to meet a man who appreciates my mind half as much as my body. That he actually wanted to get to know me as a person and liked that I can be handful as I have opinions, ideas, can make decisions and really don't NEED him. Now do I WANT a partner, hell yes. But do I need someone to fill that space, NO.

So glad that I have male friends willing to listen to me complain and hear me out about this. I have gained useful insight into the male mind by them explaining some of this to me. I know there are exceptions to the rule. There is someone out there for me I just can't seem to locate him recently and am frustrated by that fact.

Now the man who finally does get my body, mind and love will be one happy camper. Not that I can't be feisty and a handful. There is so much that I have to offer if they just can be patient and get to know what a wonderful person I am. I too would like the opportunity to get to know them and build a relationship on solid foundation that will last verses the immediate gratification swamp.

Ok so now thats off my chest I can plan my next date. He emailed that he wants to go for coffee..... Wish me luck.


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    • karmicfilly profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Franklin, TN

      Will & Billy,

      Wish there were more men out there like you 2. I know one will cross my path yet just hope I'm not too old to enjoy the ride as they say, lol

    • WillStarr profile image


      8 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Female beauty is the first attraction for males, but it's the inner essence that makes us commit. I'd say you have a great deal to offer.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      8 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are not only giving voice for women; there are actually some men who feel the same way about the dating scene. I have been incredibly lucky over the past four years to be with someone who accepts me, loves me and wants to be with me because of who I am, and I feel the same way about her. I send you best wishes and hope you find such a person soon, but I love the fact that you will not settle for less than you deserve.

    • karmicfilly profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Franklin, TN

      I only wish I were as young as you, well maybe not, lol. I hear ya though it is frustrating and I just couldn't help but vent. Maybe the guys will get the hint if we speak up and give voice to our frustrations. You'd think they'd catch on.

    • ChinaDoll32BX profile image


      8 years ago from Bronx, New York

      I do not know how old you are but I am 32 and I find dating at my age to be difficult, as well. Thank you for giving us women a voice and expressing the frustrations that we feel in the dating world.


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