- Gender and Relationships
Deadly Personalities Are Relationship Disasters
What goes on behind closed doors.
When a relationship comes to an end, it might come as a shock to friends and family. It can't be real, the couple appeared to be happy and compatible. They went places together, smiled at all the right times, joked and laughed. What could have happened to break this couple apart?
Couples can break apart with just one beat of the heart. The length of a relationship may not equate to its strength or quality. Even if couples been together for a long time, things and people change. If one or the other person refuses to evolve and grow within these changes, they can be setting themselves up for failure.
Men or women can want to be the controlling factor in a relationship. Self-serving and demanding attitudes can ruin any chance for them to succeed. This is not to say that individual opinions or desires should be overlooked. However, wanting to be the Lord of all Lords just is not going to maintain a healthy relationship.
Some people develop intolerable language, such as swearing. Offensive vocal expressions that are unappreciated or offensive to the other partner, can surely deepen the wedge between people. It's doubtful that either person could say they had no idea that their words were unacceptable to the other. You know, if you've been in the relationship longer than a week or two, you've had ample opportunity to assess what pleases the other person.
There are people who turn into the voice of gloom and doom. It seems nothing in their life makes them happy, and enjoyment is not in their vocabulary. They appear to possess no abilities or needs to smile, be gracious, or pleasant to be associated with. Days come and go and they see nothing, appreciate nothing, and give nothing. These people will never be happy, and nothing is going to change them. Whether it's a personality trait or a way of life, these types of people will find it hard to make friends or enjoy happy relationships.
People who display anger and abusive traits possess a one-way ticket to rejection. No one wants to be subjected to there explosive temper tantrums or vocal outbreaks. Usually, men are guilty of using these tactics to get their way or intimidate their partners, but may eventually find themselves left behind. No one wants, needs or deserves to be victimized by a partner's vocal attacks. These people do not care who hears them or where they display their ugly inner-self. Perhaps they think showing anger, yelling and verbal abuse makes them powerful, but they are wrong, so very wrong. The only thing this type of behavior shows is how much of an 'ass' they really are.
Lying is a devastating trait. When a partner lies to get their way, win their points, or to cover up their true personalities the relationship will we weakened and destroyed. Lying shows an unhealthy, self-serving disrespect for their partner and the relationship. This type of person values no one but themselves. They have commitment abilities, morality or conscience to offer, and will never offer worthwhile attributes. In fact, they destroy trust and bring nothing but bring pain and sorrow into a relationship.
Cheating not only indicates lack of love, but it can describe a self-hatred. Many people who cheat on their partners need to feel that they are desirable, wanted or powerful. They do not care who they step on, or who gets hurt, as long as they can keep playing the game. Often times, they have low self-esteem and believe each new conquest will bring them happiness. They seem to have no remorse about their actions, and often possess winning smiles and outgoing personalities. Some appear to be angelic or just one of the 'good ole' boys, just never turn your back or trust them with your heart.
Communicating is often suggested as a way to keep relationships strong. But, dealing or living with any of these personality types, day after day, can lock the doors of communication. It becomes tiring and problematic to continue living with someone that has no intention of changing or thinks they are not at fault. Trying to converse and work things out when any of these undesirable traits are present is all but impossible.
Often times these people bounce from one relationship to another, and blame their failures on previous partners. But, in reality, their failures lie within themselves. Usually, they present themselves with a 'poor, poor me' attitude or that they were victimized, but once you get to know them, you realize why others chose to walk away. When all or any of these behaviors become the driving force in a relationship, it's doubtful that communication can survive.