Dealing With a Break-up 101

There are basically two kinds of break ups, the ones where you aren't really close so there isn't much emotion and then there is the one where you are laid up in bed for weeks just crying. The first one is relatively easy to get over, since the two beings aren't greatly attached it is easier to overcome and move on. Sometimes there can be some troubles, a bit of sadness but mostly it is easy to get over. The second is as hard as trying to cut out your own heart.

Think of it like this. You spend months or years getting to know this person, you put hours into telling them your hopes and dreams, countless days holding them and telling them how much you love them, to feel so incredibly happy when around them. Only to have it all be torn away. Everyday it feel's like someone is cutting of shreds of your heart, that knowing that person is no longer in bed beside you, no body to hold and no words to let you know everything is gonna be okay.

Dealing with a serious break-up can be just as bad as getting a bone broken, or any kind of injury really. It's like having your entire world collapse down around you with no way out.

I like to think there is four stages of Break-ups: The first stage is the initial break up, the two separate and try to go about their usual business and move on. The second stage is feeling happy again, this stage is feeling happy and thinking you are but randomly breaking down into tears. It's like the False Happiness, you think you are back to normal and have finally moved on but your heart begs to differ. The third stage consists of you finally coming to grips that it is finally over, you eventually move on and live your life. The fourth stage is similar to the third but it goes on for longer, in this stage while you are not breaking down into tears anymore you are still relishing in the past and thinking about the one who got away.

I myself have been through these stages, when i was in the third I felt fine but then I eventually broke down. Sitting on my front porch and crying in the rain. I honest to god believed I was finally over her, but somewhere inside myself there was a part that just wasn't ready to let her go.

Going through a break up can be traumatic, I was lucky enough just o be getting ignored by my lover, others aren't as lucky. A lot of the time a break up can get pretty ugly, it's not a nice thing to see.

There isn't much you can do to rid yourself of the sadness. Hell when I got sad I was usually getting drunk, I didn't want to feel sad anymore, I didn't want to beat down on myself anymore. While there isn't alot of ways to get happy in a break up there are healthy ways.

I suggest to try and surround yourself with friends or family, ones who will understand the pain you feel and try to help and ease it. Write in a diary or a journal, write some songs or stories, drink some warm tea in a hot bath. There are a bunch of ways to get some comfort in the dark times. Watch your favorite movie or listen to some of your favorite music, me personally I would listen to some sad music, gets me over the feelings alot faster.

I will not say all break-ups are the same, or that they are incredibly easy to get over because if you have spent alot of time getting to know the person it can be near impossible to get over.

But all things end in time, it might take a little while but things pass and new things come around. The moon goes away and the sun rises, fall disappears and winter comes to take its place. All you need to do is try to make the best of a bad situation, try and smile and have some good folk around you, not all is dark.