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Dealing with Depression: A mother's point of view
...there is no word for the parents who lose a child.”— Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper
A daughter has decided to end her life. And there is nothing that can be done to undo it. Writing this makes me shiver, not only because I know her mother, but especially because I am a mother too. Forgive me if some of my words will rub more salt to the wound. But I am writing this for other future fifteen-year-old girls who may inevitably find themselves buried on deep-seated or long-standing situations that they want to put an end to.
The day you were born was one of our happiest days. The pain we had to endure was nothing compared to the happiness we felt when your warm cheeks first touch ours, and your first cry was a song to our hearts. It was simply magic.
Then there was your firsts, our firsts. Your every smile and laugh overwhelm our hearts. Sleepless nights are endurable with every touch of your warm little fingers. Everyday is a celebration no matter how tiring, no matter how much of ourselves we lose everyday, there is always an endless supply of our love for you in our hearts for one simple reason - we are mothers.
Then you've grown up…too fast most of the time...and you slowly discovered yourself. What you want, what you don't want, whatever it is, don't underestimate a mother's capacity to understand you.
Please do not try to be perfect. No one is expecting you to be. Speak up your mind and express yourself. No matter how judgmental the world has become, there is always one person who will always think highly of you…who will always see you as their little angel no matter how much different you have become…there is always one person who will always forgive you for your shortcomings and will even reciprocate them with more love and understanding.
Someone once said, "There is no finish line so enjoy the ride." Life's ride is not always smooth and straight. And that is okay. You can make mistakes along the way, we will always forgive you. We will always try our best to accept you if it is something that we cannot change. And we will always do our best to encourage and support you if it is something that can still be changed. In the end, your mother will respect you whatever you choose to be. Mothers only want their children to be happy.
In times when you feel you are broken, please give us the chance the help you mend your wounds, if not, just be by your side so you won't feel alone. The whole world may turn their back against you, everyone might close their ears from hearing you out and shut their doors on your face - but never your mother.
There is a lot more in this world for you to see and experience. Just carry on. Love. Laugh. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Everything has its end. Just take the ride, slow down, go fast. Just take it.
And with everything that we are willing to do for you, we don't expect anything in return. Just a simple reminder that whatever hurts you will hurt us more. Whatever suffering you encounter, makes us suffer more. And whatever pain you feel, pains us more. And even if you choose to end your life, we will still manage to forgive you. But please, before you even consider ending the life your mother fought for you to have, think of how temporary your pain is compared to the depth of the stab you will plunge directly to your mother's heart, and how bleeding her heart will stay until she takes it to her grave…
“Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them.
They move on. They move away.
The moments that used to define them are covered by
moments of their own accomplishments.
It is not until much later, that
their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories
of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones,
beneath the water of their lives.”— Paulo Coelho
Do you think you can prevent teenage suicide?
© 2015 Christine Dumaguin