Dealing with a Bridezilla
Nothing spoils a wedding photo like a bride with a black-eye, especially if it was a wedding present from an aggravated member of her own bridal party. Happily, there are many ways of dealing with a Bridezilla short of assault and battery.
Bridezilla Syndrome: How to combat pre-wedding BS
Bridezilla ("Bride" + "Godzilla") is a term used to describe an unpleasant bride who leaves behind severely annoyed family, friends and bridal vendors in her manic quest for the perfect wedding.
Experts from Women's Entertainment have identified the following signs that the blushing bride has become a weapon of mass exasperation:
- She wonders why the mean ol' mayor is being such a jerk about the tickertape parade.
- Spray-painting 100 doves gold is not "over the top," but necessary.
- Vendors are instructed never to make direct eye contact and to always address the woman in question as "Her Majesty, The Bride."
- The reception involves speedboats, hot-air balloons, fireworks, or clearance from NASA.
- Both Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio call to voice their concern that the floral arrangements will affect Earth's fragile eco-balance.
In order to maintain one's sanity in the face of a snarling, petulant bride, follow these simple tips. Recall that it is best to use "soul force" rather than violence to solve the problem, as you don't want to cause the woman to really snap after you've yanked out fistfuls of her hair.
- Recognize that the bride you're dealing with is likely stressed, impatient, highly irrational, and utterly self-absorbed. This may not be the woman you once knew and loved, but never fear, she will return sometime after the honeymoon.
- Brace yourself and know that nearly nothing you do, say, or even think is going to appease Bridezilla. She is attempting to create a fairytale within the real world and is not going to be happy when she is reminded that said world does not revolve around her.
- Practice non-verbal communication with the bride and others. Control your desire to tell her to get over herself and call her things like "unreasonable," "idiotic," and "ridiculous." Save those comments for other members of the bridal party, and reserve obedient nods and expressions of incredulity for the bride.
- You can catch more brides with honey than with the truth. The woman before you is incredibly insecure. She's about to commit herself to another human being for (hopefully) the rest of her life and she is scared out of her wits that life will not be perfect. It won't, so she views her wedding as the last chance to prove that she is an amazing, beautiful creature worthy of love and admiration. You know this is true, and in order to avoid tearful declarations of her self loathing, compliment her as often as possible. Praise her fine qualities and never let her forget how good she is looking. Make sure these words come at moments when you are calm so that they are sincere rather than a substitute for colorful language.
- Do not take her abuse and selfishness to heart, but at the same time do not make yourself a doormat for those overpriced heels. Be able to refuse her unrealistic demands and walk away from a confrontation. Do not give her an audience for her tantrums. Remember you have a life beyond this wedding.
What Brides can do to avoid BS:
Gail Dunson, author and etiquette expert, has these tips on taming the inner Bridezilla:
- Cultivate an attitude of gratefulness.
- Avoid talking about nothing but the wedding from the time you are engaged.
- Plan appropriately for receptions, and do not make guest pay for drinks or dinner or anything else. Cash registries are wrong, wrong, wrong. Any kind of gift registry information should never go in your invitations!
- Delegate tasks to all members of your bridal party beforehand through e-mail. Identify who's in charge, and then step back and let them handle it.
- Be professional when dealing with bridal vendors. They are not your servants and will do better quality work when they feel respected and appreciated.
- Be flexible and sensitive to the needs of others. This is really not just "your day," but a day that also belongs to your friends, family, vendors, and fiancé.
- If you absolutely must have total control over something, limit yourself to three things to stress over, like the dress, music, and seating arrangements.
Remember, a wedding should be a joyous occasions primarily because it is the first day of a couple's new life together... not because when it's over, the bridal party will once more lead regular, healthy lives.