ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Dedicated To My Wife

Updated on January 15, 2012

To My Wife

I drive. Literally and figuratively, I drive. I’ve been the major bread winner in my family for my whole life. I’ve felt like I’ve been in the backseat for some of the decisions with raising the kids or decorating the home amongst many other things, but I’ve always had veto power. I’ve always felt like the driver and even resented that feeling at times. What I seemed to miss or forget or lose perspective on at times is the importance of my wife who I saw in the passenger seat.

We all had a rough 2009. I lost my job while my mother was at home dying a slow gracious death, losing a battle she knew from the start she couldn’t win with congestive heart failure. She took a 6 month outlook and tripled it, living as she always did with grace and heart up until the end. She wasn’t just my mother; she was my wife’s adoptive mother too. In hard trying times, when people are separated as my wife and I were throughout that time… it’s hard to know where your support is. It *feels* like everyone is driving alone but it isn’t true. It just felt that way for awhile.

For me, figurative turned literal when on one of the trips back home from my mom’s house, my wife had to gently force me to stop driving and let her take us home that night. I’d always driven us home before. It felt like my literal duty as well as my figurative duty as the man of the family. It felt a tad like failure that first time but the wave of support could be felt by the simple act of my wife driving us home. Like a gentle reminder of something that had always been there. From the passenger seat, I could reflect. I could relax. I could let my wife take me through all the obstacles she always had driven me through but I was just too focused perhaps to see it.

My wife and I are a pretty good team. We’ve gone through a lot. It started when my father died when I was age 15 and moved through the times where we had a few battles with cancer and had to lead more separate segregated lives and roles. I hope 2009 was the top of the “battles mountain” but I don’t think it was. It seems alright though, I feel better knowing I have my wife beside me. She’s always driving me home, always. Whether I’m taking a break from the passenger seat while she’s driving me home or I’m the one physically driving. She’s there for me and I’m there for her. Even at the most trying times, she can make me feel like my feet are on the dash and the world doesn’t matter... for all time.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • JBeadle profile image
      Author

      J Beadle 7 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks for the read and comments Lamme. You are right. We've had a 30+ year relationship even though I'm just a spry 47 year old and a lot of people seem to feel we are "soul mates" and lucky. While true... what they miss is the hard work we've done and the adjustments couples need to make as you change as people. We've always had love and respect at our core though and that has been key. We also talk together everyday. I read somewhere that the average married couple talk for about 15 minutes a day? Even after all this time my wife and I will talk for hours and wonder how the time flew.

    • Lamme profile image

      Lamme 7 years ago

      You and your wife are very lucky to have each other. Hold on to that precious gift and don't ever let it slip away. Relationships and life can be hard, but you've got the real deal.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)