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The Defiant Person

Updated on April 14, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Defiant people can be vengeful

Defiant is when one individual wants authority over another.

She is defiant and won't take heed to his conversations.

  • What you must know about defiant people:

The person had learned this kind of attitude over time.

Arguments occur more and more, and this can make one feel most pressured in their daily activities.

Requests are not complied with in a relationship.

The partner in a relationship does not follow any rules.

A kind of attitude that can annoy one another. It can be also be an upsetting issue.

The mind of the individual blames others for their wrong doing or mistakes.

They can become frustrated with others very easily.

I have noticed the angry attitude of this woman, and have seen the way she behaved towards simple conversations.

Often she speaks rudely and the unkind words come out of her mouth.

I sometimes wish I did not have to see her that often.

Her attitude is about seeking revenge.

Communication is rather difficult with this individual.

She always knows and has an answer for every question.

I have noticed that she had an answer for every question that I had asked her.

In many cases she did not know and was not correct. In her mind that was correct.

She has a mind of her own and thinks she knows it all.

Her anger and impulse control is not intact.

I, recently made some mint sauce and when she came over for a quick chat I told her I made something special. I asked her if she knew what I added into the sauce.

I was surprised of how she went on about the ingredients but did not give me one correct added ingredient of the mint sauce.

She just wanted to be right and act like some kind of expert but with a lack of knowledge of most aspects in life. Her knowledge to me is poor and her ignorance shows more by the day.

She is defiant to her husband and others.

I don't try to argue with her points made instead I ignore her tantrums.

She is disobedient.

An individual who refused to comply with any one’s needs. She often annoys others deliberately. I have seen in her behavior of how she can be spiteful or vengeful.

There are no compromises in her marriage. She will not give in an argument or any conversations. She argues daily to make herself heard.

An adult who will not accept she is wrong.

Verbally she can show her anger, and annoyance.

I have seen her lose her temper and argue with her husband.

She refused to do what he asked of her.

Any request is denied.

The common problem is her resentfulness and blaming of others her mistakes.

The too often angry mood is too much to cope with for her husband and ''so called'' friends.

  • Authority is her priority.

I have not had such an experience before with a defiant individual. She perfectly fits the description.

Her constant change goes with her not so normal behavior. When I first met her she often spoke of how many different kinds of clothing she has and at that time I did not quite understand her way of life.

Now I see her behavior more and more and what she really means about her lifestyle.

She seeks clothing for constant change a typical behavior for a defiant individual.

In her conversations to me I have observed that she feels misunderstood and disliked by other people.

She is too quick to get angry and defend her conflicts.

In some cases such behaviors are intolerable. Individuals shoplift, and go into a different path of life. They tend to use drugs and excessive use of alcohol.

Her fighting and often argumentative conversations leaves her husband speechless and helpless. He can't reason with her.

In this case she does not use any substance but has a way of dealing with her issues.

Whatever she suggests is right in her mind.

I see that she could be a difficult person to live with and to be a friend if ever needed.

Her vindictive ways have showed me the kind of person she can be so I decided to keep my distance.

My recent visit to her house showed me how hard it must be to live with someone who has such characteristics.

On that evening while I sat there and talked to her she deviated to her husband's conversations. They got into a moment that surprised me.

She wouldn't reason with him on a specific debate. The words flowed easily but with only one intention. Nobody is right except for her in the room.

The argument went on for a few minutes. I eventually left and had sensed the tension between these two.

Her habits are so frustrating. I don't expect every person to be the same but just to see how she communicates with others makes me know more about her rude character.

Decisions made and followed are mostly from her. She won't follow any rules from anyone.

She does not see her conversations any other way as her way is always right and the best.

Her resentful mind can make you feel less knowledgeable.

I often hear her tone of voice and that tone explained all about her defiant character.

Their new marriage is already in trouble. It is a one-sided marriage. He has failed with her arguments and sadly won't admit it.

The relationship in this marriage is about her being right all the time.

There is no solid foundation to hold onto. He is in a marriage that is mostly about spite for others.

It is not about others when you marry you should be happy and free in your marriage. In this case she is defiant and wants her way and only her way.

I try to keep my distance and don't get into any complicated issues with her. It is not worth my time to make any point right or wrong with her.

She seeks revenge and constantly buys clothes to compete with others. Her life is about frustration, misled communication skills and a lot of anger.

It is difficult to handle such situations when entangled with words.

I observed this character and know what is the best for me that is to stick to my best choices of people.

Her negative thoughts make her feel that way. I feel she has not much to compete with and tries to be something she is not.

  • For example,

She barely knows much about my culture and when I mention anything different she right away assumes she knows what I am speaking about. Her defiant behavior has grown to annoy me but I don't want to stoop down to her level.

I am better off not mingling with her.

Everything in my life has changed and sometimes it feels like I am on this roller coaster ride forever.

I try to be happy in my own way and to avoid such characters is one of my greater ways of managing my days.

Life is not always what you want it to be.

I have grown to accept certain parts of my life the parts I know and feel is easier to know more of.

When I meet such individuals it just feels like a dark cloud has come over me. I still look over that dark cloud because I know the sun is hiding somewhere there and will be out soon.

I don't have time to waste my time on people who are defiant and assume they know it all. In fact they don't know as in this case she is a less-educated person and with a defiant problem.

  • I see this case in the following way:

Her problem lies within her from childhood and now as an adult these factors are affecting her marriage and friendships with others.

  • How do you see this problem?

Defiant from childhood

Defiant people

Defiant Partners

How would you handle communication with a Defiant individual?

See results

© 2014 Devika Primić


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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      suzettenaples I decided to let go she is not worth my time. You know exactly what I mean about her. Thank you.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      3 years ago from Taos, NM

      Quite an interesting and informative article. Is there nothing positive about this person? Why would you continue to be her friend? I try to find the positive in each person I meet. If a person is truly like this person I would drop them like a hot potato. I do believe everyone has redeeming value to offer the world.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ChitrangadaSharan thank you for stopping by I appreciate your time and efforts.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Defiant people are difficult to deal with. You made a good analysis of such people. I try to stay away from them.

      Thanks for sharing this wonderful hub!

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Nell Rose great to see read a comment from you thank you for that sound advice.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      3 years ago from England

      Hiya, I noticed in your poll that most people said talk simply with her, I wouldn't I would run a mile! get away from people like this, I had someone at work like it, she was a nightmare, good points as always, and interesting points of view, nell

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Cherylann Mollan thank you kindly for sharing your opinions at my hubs.

    • Cherylann Mollan profile image

      Cherylann Mollan 

      3 years ago from India

      You've analyzed a defiant person really well here. They are difficult to deal with, especially when they override an intelligent point you've made just because of ego issues. Although I try to reason out with these people, after a point I just stop and walk away!

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader you are so right that made me laugh thank you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Nadine thank you for sharing your opinion here will have to check that up have a pleasant day.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Good morning to you D.A.L. so nice of you to stop here. I try to avoid her I keep my conversations very short with her. Your kind words got me thinking more about her.Thank you for the vote up, interesting and useful.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      midget38 thank you

    • jtrader profile image


      3 years ago


      Just be glad she didn't try to make the mint sauce for you.

    • Nadine May profile image

      Nadine May 

      3 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

      DDE when I read your hub about your experience with someone who always need to be in control, the need to be right...this woman must be a negative personality no eight ( the Asserter) on the Enneagram scale. Look it up on Google. These people are controlling, very self-centered, skeptical and often aggressive. People in our lives are often a reflection within our self. You might very well also be an eight personality, but on a positive scale. You are self-confident, protective over others and very loyal. Look within yourself what you really want from this person. Her approval? If this person in truth is feeling guilty and turned her aggression against herself, then she will attract her positive mirror in you! Look it up. She could be your best teacher at this moment in your life. The moment you understand how she perceives her reality, then you will know how to interact with her. She then will either disappear out of your live, or she could become your best friend! See the positive site of your interaction with her.

    • D.A.L. profile image


      3 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      The woman must be a nightmare to live with. Your outlook on life and compassionate nature will enable you to rise above anything this woman can say or do to you. However, I agree with the words in your 'caption' meaningful words " people will forget what you said,people will forget what you did,but people will never forget how you made them feel",try to avoid this woman and others of her ilk whenever possible. Voted up,interesting and very useful.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      3 years ago from Singapore

      We'd have simple conversations that appeal to logic. I guess that's how I would handle them.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      AliciaC You are so right ''His wife sounds like she is very hard to live with.'' Thank you for commenting here.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I feel so sorry for the woman's husband. What a difficult situation for him! His wife sounds like she is very hard to live with.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Jodah You are so right and I so agree with you completely. I feel so much better to read such a helpful comment. Thank you very much.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway well done to you thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ologsinquito thank you and I am glad to have read another comment from you

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Devika, this woman certainly has a problem, probably an inferiority complex so she goes out of her way to act as if she knows everything and is better than everyone else. I would advise to try to avoid her as much as possible, but when you can't be friendly, listen politely and just set an example by being the nice amiable person you are. maybe some of your personality may eventually influence her to be better. Try not to let her upset you and don't take what she says personally. Her husband will have to try to deal with her as best he can.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      3 years ago from USA

      I don't need the type of drama these folks offer.

    • ologsinquito profile image


      3 years ago from USA

      At this juncture in my life, I prefer to keep my distance from these types of people.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello MsDora so nice of you to stop by thank you

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, your common sense approach always gets you through the difficult times. I commend you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      word55 thank you so kindly for stopping by.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      savvydating so true she needs to make a change on her part though she won't be doing that thank you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ericdierker thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc than you and so nice to read another comment from you.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      RachaelOhalloran nice profile photo! ODD is understandable and she is really out of line thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Homeplace Series, I so agree with you. Thank you for coming by here.

    • Homeplace Series profile image

      William Leverne Smith 

      3 years ago from Hollister, MO

      Run the other way, for sure, if that is a possible option. Thank you for sharing, but, I really get disappointed in people when I hear these kinds of things. Best wishes, all around.

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 

      3 years ago from United States

      When someone notices this type of behavior in a potential beau or spouse (male or female), they would do well to run the other way - just cut ties altogether because defiant behavior starts young and in the case of my mother, it lead to becoming a violent adult. Rehabilitation or behavior modification may work for the ODD person, but the process will be harder on the people around person with ODD. Very good topic DDE.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I can always count on you to raise an important discussion about life and the people we share it with.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very interesting to think about, we all have a little defiance.

    • savvydating profile image


      3 years ago

      DDE, This lady's husband must be a saint. No way would I stick around for all that abuse. Luckily, you know how to keep your distance from her. On occasion a little defiance may be useful in some situations, but in her case, things are out of control. She apparently has emotional issues which require professional help and a willingness to change---on her part.

    • word55 profile image


      3 years ago from Chicago

      Yes Devika, add disrespect, arrogance and the lack of love is usually given. Look out! Defiant people can be gross!


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