Derby Date Dilemma

Sometimes when dates go wrong you have no one to blame but yourself. After having been on what I considered the worst date in my life, I wasn’t about to take anyone up on the offers of a ‘Blind Date’ anytime soon.

I think there is a reason the term ‘beer goggles’ got their name. After having imbibed a few too many bottles of ‘Beer Pop’ one can find their vision a bit cloudy. To aid in the cloudy vision one can also blame the darkness of a bar. In a darkened bar with too many drinks the actual features of someone can be quite distorted. I have found this to be true in my own life.

I sure was having a good time, drinking and dancing the night away. The attentions of a young man didn’t hurt any either. He sure was cute! Not that I necessarily am only attracted to physical appearances but it doesn’t hurt. As we exchanged phone numbers in the parking lot I noticed that he had seemed to change in appearance just a bit. My eyes were a bit blurry, maybe that was the problem. Oh well. I was poured into the vehicle of a friend who was driving. One of us had to be sober!

My cutie pie called me the very next day, what a nice surprise!  We talked on the phone several times before an actual date was to happen.  He seemed  like a nice enough guy, friendly and like to laugh.  I told him all about my son, so he was aware that I had a child.  Surprising someone with a child just isn’t nice, besides I try to be as honest as I can.  He insisted that I find a sitter for my son before we went on our date.  I thought this was a little odd, but for a first date I suppose anyone might feel uncomfortable with a child in tow. 

He came over and he certainly did look different from the guy I thought I seen at the bar, but there were similarities, so he wasn’t a completely different person.  He just wasn’t as cute as I remembered.  Oh well, as I say I am not one to go strictly on looks, his personality was what mattered to me.  My son was sitting on my lap and snuggling with me, my date commented that he was a bit jealous, he’d like his head where my sons was.  Hmmm, well this might not be the way to start off a date, I thought.  My son and I were a package deal, and I let him know that.  He said he understood.  I took my son to the neighbors, they had agreed to watch him for me.

With the temperatures rising in the summer to around 90 degrees the air hot and dry with all the dust being stirred up, I started to get thirsty.  Since he had already told me he didn’t have much money and I shouldn’t ask for things and I didn’t bring my own money, what was I to do?  So I told him that I was going to go get a drink from the fountain and I would be right back.  At that point he pulled out his wallet and said “While you’re going would you get me a coke?”  I sort of stumbled over my words as I said “Uh, sure, no problem”.  As I started walking away he parted with “Oh and can you make sure there is no ice and get me a lid with a straw?”  You got it buddy!

As I made my way to the concession stand I happened to see my friend.  I called to her and she walked with me.  I was rather ’put out’ with my date and I told her so.  I stopped by the drinking fountain and got a drink, my mouth was feeling like it was full of cotton balls about this time.  I got him his coke, no ice with lid and straw and we made our way back to where he was sitting.   I handed him his drink, he had his hand out for his change before I could even offer.  No problem, I gave it to him.

We sat there for a while the 3 of us, I had introduced him to my friend.  The Derby still hadn’t started yet.  When his drink got down to the bottom he offered me a sip.  What a guy!  I told him “No thanks, that water did me just fine, not thirsty anymore!”   At that point the only way I’d take a drink was if I was being held down and it was poured down my throat.  After a few minutes more he looked at me and said “Please have a drink, I’m feeling really bad now.”   “Ah, no I’m really not thirsty anymore, still doing good from that water I had”, while patting my belly.  I then leaned over to my friend and whispered “Get me outta here NOW”.

We went out to his car, it was a classic car of some sort, I’m not much of a car person so I really didn’t pay attention the only thing I knew it was a Monte Carlo. As I went to close the door, the windows were down and my hand on the door frame, quickly he did the ‘ahahah’ thing, I’ll get that for you! As he was closing my door he explained he didn’t want any fingerprints on it. He started to ask if I’d shook my shoes off before getting in the car, then said ‘eh, never mind’. This was going to be an interesting date I thought. We were headed to the County Fair, how was he planning on his car not getting dirty? The roads into the fair were dirt, since it was summer time it was quite hot too, so the windows were rolled down. Well it wasn’t my car, this would have to be his worry.

After he paid the parking fee he informed me that he didn’t have a lot of money and I shouldn’t be begging him for rides. We were going to watch the demolition derby, nothing else. Well shoot, if I’d have known that I’d have brought my own money. As it was I didn’t bring a purse, just my ID in my back pocket. We had to pass through all the rides, he just kept telling me ‘don’t look at those’ we aren’t here for that.

I wanted to go through the animal barns to look at the Horses and such, he said he’d rather not, they were stinky. So we headed off to look at the mechanical things. Yay. We were about an hour early for the Demolition Derby so we went to find a good seat. He said since he’d already paid the entry fee to get into the fair we were going to sit on the grass to watch, he didn’t want to pay for bleacher seats as well. These were much better seats anyway. Uhuh, yep much better.

Tips for getting out of a bad date:

1. If at all possible drive to where you will be meeting, this way you can leave when you choose.

2. Bring your own money. If nothing else some change to make a phone call to have someone pick you up.

3. If it is possible and you are unfamiliar with the person, go on a double date with someone you know personally.

4. Always make sure someone knows where you are going and with whom.

I told my date that I really wanted to see the Horses and since the derby hadn’t started yet my friend and I were going to look at them.  He said that was fine but I should hurry back so I didn’t miss the start!  Okey-dokey.  We headed off in the direction of the horses, not quite running but it certainly was a brisk pace.  As soon as we couldn’t see him anymore we broke into a full run.   Headed straight for the parking area to her car.  Once we reached her car we felt we were relatively safe and began laughing.  I couldn’t believe how I managed to pick such a loser! 

We went off to her Mom’s house, I didn’t want to be anywhere near my home, just in case he came looking for me!  The next day he called me and before he could say anything I asked “What happened to you?”  I pretended as though we got separated from each other and I had to find my own way home.  Maybe a bit devious of me to do so, but he was certainly deceptive of being a good date!