Destroying Marriages, Ruining Lives - Telling On A (Rumored) Cheater
If there's one thing that humans are great at, it's gossip. If there's another thing we're good at, it's cheating. The origins of monogamy are now lost in the haze of time, but its a practice that has stood the test of time, at least theoretically, if not in practice. Popularly quoted statistics say that over 60 percent of men cheat, and 40 percent of women cheat. That means, in a marriage comprised of a man and a woman, there is a 50% chance that somebody is cheating. This means that even if you walked up to a complete stranger on the street wearing a wedding band, you could tell them that their husband or wife was cheating, and have a 50/50 chance of being right.
The question for many friends is should you tell your friend that you suspect that his wife/girlfriend or her husband/boyfriend is cheating on her. Let me relay a charming little story to you on this topic. I was watching one of these delightful reality television shows set in a casino in Las Vegas. The cameras followed a pair of buxom young ladies around the casino floor, where they were hit on by many amorous alcohol fueled men. One fellow in particular was particularly interested in them, making many crude references accompanied by longing glances.
All was going well until his girlfriend showed up. When the surprised young ladies informed the girlfriend that the fellow had been hitting on them all night her response was to berate them soundly with a great many curse words and tell them that there was no way her boyfriend would ever want them. The upshot of the matter? The chap standing around looking pleased with himself whilst the women wrestled in flurry of high heels and big hair on the floor.
This is a caveat to all those who suspect someone's partner of cheating. The old adage 'don't shoot the messenger' was not created for its lyrical charm, but instead because all too often it is the messenger who is made to be the villain in the piece.
Some things to consider before you go running to your friend with rumors about their beloved. How well do you know your friend? Would they want to be told that sort of thing? Do you have a blood pact which requires you to tell him or her if their spouse or partner might be cheating? Do you value and enjoy your relationship with them?
I say let rumors be rumors, and allow your grown up friends to conduct their adult relationships without them being besmirched by foul conjecture. Of course, if you're really concerned, feel free to tail the partner with a long lens SLR and satisfy yourself of their fidelity or lack thereof. That should satisfy your need to meddle in the affairs of others, and also save your friend the cost of a private investigator when it comes time to justify the divorce. Two birds, one stone!