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Did I Choose Right?

Updated on June 12, 2020
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I've been through a lot of what you are going through right now. You're not alone. I truly wish you lots of love cause you deserve it!

Love Choice

Love: my choice

Is there such thing as a choice in love? Of course! We make choices every day and most of them are unconscious ones. However, love isn't one of them. It is an extremely conscious one. I believe feelings are the toughest aspect of our character to control - because we can't. Many of us are impulsive, over-thinkers, settlers, fighters, and million more. Sometimes also all together.

Truth is that when it comes to love, we should let our hearts decide. Except not. We should also use our heads because we might end up spending time with the wrong person and leaving behind beautiful people. Balancing these aspects is very difficult but knowing what we want from ourselves definitely clarifies what we can expect from others.

Am I With The Right Person?

Unfortunately I cannot provide the answer to this question for a myriad of different reasons - the first one being that I don't know what your relationship dynamic is. But we can find out right here.

Answer the questions below to determine your character and how you base your [love] choice.

Your Love Choice

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Right or Wrong?

There is no right or wrong choice, rather a right or wrong feeling about the relationship or the time spent together?

Do they make you feel jealous all the time? Do they always find something wrong about you and point to your weaknesses? Are they not supportive? Is the communication unbalanced? If all the answers are yes, then probably you need some time alone to think the relationship over.

If, on the other hand, you found someone who always listens to you, cheers for your success, believes in who you are and your potentials, and always finds a way to make you feel like you're an amazing person, then you probably found a good match.

BE CAREFUL. There is a "be careful" unfortunately. People are also good liars. It was found that people can only lie for about three months, after that, the brain goes back to their normal selves and the real them comes out.

Me First

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Another important aspect is NOT to leave yourself behind!

You are a lovable person and the only way to make someone else notice your best self is to be aware of it yourself. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect people to love you? Their love is a reflection of how you see yourself. Be confident, be proud of who you are and what you accomplished until now. There is plenty to give and plenty to achieve so don't stop and keep it up.

This aspect is often underestimated but it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Please believe in your potential and you will go far. When you are confident and determined, you reflect this to others and result in a more attractive self. You can be timid and over-think things but be confident of who you are and the choices you make.

Respect

Everything is based on respect: whether a professional, friend or love relationship.

Remember that you must give respect to get respect. Nothing should be taken for granted and this is a really important part of a relationship as communication is also based on this. Loyalty and trust immediately follow if respect is present.

Don't settle because you feel alone. Take some time for yourself and discover who you are again if you think you've lost track of it (sometimes it happens). Listen to your gut because if something is right or wrong, it will tell you right away.

Please respect each other and respect yourself. Everyone is human and we all make mistakes. If you love someone, respect them all the time (even when you are angry).

Give To Get

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    • randomizing profile imageAUTHOR

      GrowTrueWisdom 

      13 months ago from United Kingdom

      Exactly, that phrase meant that most choices are unconscious ones but love isn't. Love is a completely conscious choice and sometimes the hardest choice to make.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      13 months ago from Chicago

      "We make choices every day and most of them are unconscious ones. However, love isn't one of them." - Not exactly true.

      If we get to (choose who we spend our time with) then by default we must be choosing who we will fall in love with.

      It's a little disingenuous to "yes" over and over again only to suddenly claim "it just happened". You had to say "yes" to exchanging contact information, to going out on a date, to kissing, and going out on multiple other dates, to having sex, meeting each other's friends and family members, on and on.

      Love is nurtured and grown by saying "yes" over and over.

      Had you (chose) to say "NO" when you were approached at the beginning there would have been no follow up contact or spending time together which allowed you to get to know them and fall in love. You may even forgot ever meeting them!

      When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time up at bat. If this were not the case we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      During our youth we allowed "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate our relationship choices. We had yet to figure out who (we) are let alone know what we wanted and needed in a mate for life.

      It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      What made for an "ideal mate" at ages 16, 18, or 21 will probably not cut it for you at age 25, 30, or beyond. With life experience our mate selection/screening process and "must haves list" changes.

      To find out if you chose right ask yourself: "Am I happy?"

      There are only to ways to experience joy and peace of mind n relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      No one is "stuck" with anyone! Suffering is optional.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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