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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Did I let the Wrong one go?
The One That Got Away
You know the one I'm talking about? The one that made your heart skip a beat when he called or text. The one you would change your plans to be with at the last minute request. The one you fell asleep thinking of and woke up looking at your phone hoping he had messaged. The one you tried so hard to keep but still he slipped through your hands. The one you always felt you should've said or done something differently.
Stop having regrets. That one was not for you. He knew exactly how you felt even if you never spoke a word. It was clear in your actions that you were crazy for him. As a matter of fact, that is probably what he feared. He feared you were a little too crazy for him. Sometimes when we really like someone we try too hard to impress them by doing everything he wants. That doesn't necessarily impress him. He wants a woman who can make her own decisions. He wants a challenge. The challenge adds excitement to the relationship. When you give a 100% right out of the gate he will get bored quickly and you will run out of steam before you cross the finish line.
Now its time to look back with a clear mind and think "it was fun" rather than "what if". It was a valuable learning experience in what not to do with the perfect guy. Be patient and know that there are plenty of other opportunities out there for you to show the fantastic woman you are. Don't change your plans for him. He will ask again and be all the more excited to see you.
The Best Friend
Have you ever had a very good friend of the opposite sex? The one you talk to most every day. The one that knows everything about you and you about him. He's the one you call when you have good news or bad news. He's the first person you turn to. He's your best friend.
Having a best friend of the opposite sex can be an amazing friendship. Unlike your female friends who will lie to keep from hurting your feelings and unlike your male lovers that will lie to get what they want, he will be brutally honest. The truth may hurt but you know you can count on his honest opinion. As can he of you. Except for relationship advice.
When discussing your relationship with your male best friend, he will never like any of them. Think about it, has he ever liked anyone you've dated? Or better yet, have you ever approved of anyone he's dated? The problem with this relationship is jealousy. You spend a lot of time together and you depend on each other. There's a subconscious fear of losing each other. You love each other and you don't want to share your time.
Sometimes that love gets confused with lovers love. Be careful. Sure you may start to wonder "what if" but don't. Your relationship is far too valuable to be destroyed with any confusion. Almost anytime that line gets crossed into a sexual encounter, even for just once, your friendship will never be the same. So leave that "what if" alone and enjoy your best friend and love him forever.
The Friend With Benefits
Have you ever had that friend that you call when you're lonely. The one you text when the bar is about to close and you're just not ready to go home. He's the one that you never really go out with but maybe you run into at the club. He's the one that always answers your late not calls and so generously offers you a warm bed to lay your head in. AH, this is the perfect relationship, right? Wrong!
What happens when you call or text and he doesn't respond? Maybe you even drive by to see if he's home and there's an unfamiliar car in the drive. Of course, your heart sinks into your stomach, tears fill your eyes. You start to feel used and unwanted. Hello!! That's what you are. Just as he is to you. Only now, you are upset and angry.
Then you send hateful messages or just ignore him. He's confused and you can't even make sense of what's wrong. Or it could possibly be a reversed situation. He may be upset because you won't take his calls or texts. Either way, this relationship will never work!! I'm not saying to not do it, because chances are if you've late night visited more than once or twice then the sex is probably worth a few tears down the road. I'm just saying to guard your heart and be prepared at some point in time to pass the FWB crown to someone else. Stop wondering "what if" and know "it was what it was".
The Married Friend
Have you ever befriended a married man or maybe you were friends before the marriage began? You become pretty close. You start to communicate more and more. He starts calling and texting daily. You start to meet for lunch or after work for happy hour. He confides in you his unhappy marital life. You grow close to him. He trusts you and it makes you feel good that he leans on you for advice. Look out! This is headed in one direction, with your pants around your ankles.
Don't get me wrong. It's probably going to be the greatest sex you've had. You will be overwhelmed with passion. He will be extremely gracious for your hospitality and will return all the favors and then some. Just beware that this relationship will go nowhere beyond numerous orgasms. If that is all you need and you're willing to give him up at some point then by all means, orgasm away. Chances are that with sex that amazing, you won't be willing to give him up that easily.
Just keep in mind that he IS married. No matter how good the sex, you are expendable. She has his name, lives in his house, and possibly has his children. Not even fabulous sex can compete with that. So stop wondering "what if" and realize it "never was".
Don't Dwell on What ifs
So many times in life we are faced with decision that will some how impact our lives. We will make good decisions along with bad ones. Life is too short to dwell on what if and harbor regrets. Once it happens it can not be undone. What happened is in the past and now you must move forward. At some point, even if for a moment, you really wanted it to happen. So for that, you did what you wanted to do so live with no regrets.