Dislikes are the New Likes | The New Social Networking Uprise
likes VS dislikes
Can you tell a lot about a person from the things they like? No. I don't think so, at least. I think you can tell more about yourself and others from that which you dislike.
Hitler and Heather Says both like vegetables. Snooki and Heather Says both like pickle juice. But what about our dislikes...
What does Google Say?
Google is a powerful force and resource. I use it many times throughout the day to find information and answers to my questions. Today, in fact, I did a fair amount of googling when our 4-yr old Husky had her very first tick. Using the almighty Google to give me a little perspective, I typed "why do people dislike" and before even hitting enter the most popular searches popped up: (yes, in this order)
Why do people dislike Jews?
Why do people dislike Anne Hathaway?
Why do people dislike nickleback?
Why do people dislike me?
Doing the same thing for "why do people like" I got:
Why do people like Obama?
Why do people like cats?
Why do people like dubstep?
Why do people like football?
I'm reminded of a female friend I had a few years back. We got along pretty swimmingly and then we didn't. But before that, she and I really loved the American version of "The Office." This was years ago. When Steve Carell was still the boss, Jim and Pam were still flirting, and Ryan was only a temp, or as I like to call it, back when "The Office" was good. She also really loved a show on Cartoon Network called, "Metalocalypse." To this day, I still don't understand that show. I thought of her and this whole "like VS dislike" debate when I saw a preview for "Metalocalypse" last night as I was drifting off to sleep. I'm not discounting it off the bat because it's an adult cartoon show-- I like plenty of adult cartoon shows with burping and farting that do nothing for me intellectually. But I could never figure out how we could have so many other things in common. Was she dead to me as soon as I found out she liked that show? Maybe a little... perhaps subconsciously.
Does this sound familiar?
So what's the big deal? I can't explain it. It seems like people are so much more passionate about the things they dislike. More time and effort are put into a protest sign than a piece of poster board you wave around at a concert or in the background of The "Today" Show. Yes or no? When I was shopping for a new washer and dryer, there were tons of on-line reviews about appliances that people disliked (HATED even) but very few about appliances they loved. Think of the last time someone tried to convince you to stop liking something because they also dislike it. Compare that experience to someone trying to convince you to like something they also like. How do they compare?
Words like Dislike
Synonyms for Dislike
Antonyms for Dislike
Do I even know what I like?
The internet is full of little cubbies to hold your likes, but I've never seen any for dislikes. Dislikes are a tricky business. If you are given only so much room to profess your love for your interests, some get left out. Does one assume you dislike something because it didn't make the cut? Or are you granted the benefit of the doubt... you forgot it or there wasn't enough room. I find myself listing my likes and dislikes even if I'm not required to. I did it on my hub profile. I have an easier time thinking of and listing my dislikes. Again, I think there exists a fiery passion behind dislikes that is different from likes. If I sign up for a new site that asks for some likes, I literally have to open another site I already belong to in a separate browser window and look over my likes. I usually sigh and say aloud to no one, "I don't even know what I like."
I don't know what I like
5 quick likes and dislikes of Heather Says
The Bee Gees
My Name is Asher Lev
The Lord of the Rings
black jelly beans
Let me explain...
Perhaps I lost some of your respect when I said I didn't like Lord of the Rings (or any of my other dislikes). I can tolerate the movies since my husband loves them so. I read The Hobbit in gradeschool and didn't particulary hate it. As an adult, I tried reading Fellowship, and was soooooo bored. Before my husband and I began dating and were friends, I lied and said I had seen the "Fellowship" movie and liked it (the other two movies hadn't been made yet). He figured out pretty quickly that I had fibbed. Even though we had tons of other things in common, I felt compelled to lie about LOTR. Was this because I wanted to share a common like or keep a dislike hidden? It wasn't a deal breaker, and we joke about it these days.
Who doesn't like to have fun?
Generic Likes and Specific Dislikes
I hate when people list, "music, movies, having fun, sex" as interests or likes. A lot of people also like those things, but the scope is so broad that you're just setting everyone up for disaster-- including yourself.
Movies are movies unless otherwise specified
I'm reminded of Cameron Diaz's character in the remake of "Charlie's Angels." Luke Wilson tells her he bought tickets and she quickly exclaims, "I LOVE TICKETS!"
I can't tell if the person listing such interests is lazy. Do they realize that "music" encompasses all music unless otherwise defined? I've seen people list "stuff" or "interesting stuff." Is this out of laziness, or are they being ironic? Do they not want people to find them while searching through likes? Is it a test to see if someone else "gets it" and is deemed worthy? Or are they just being funny? Or am I just reading into it too much?
What about specific dislikes? How many people dislike food dye? How many people specifically dislike red dye number 40? I've seen women say they hate "liars and cheaters" back in the days of myspace and now on the new frontier of pinterest. Do they really mean they just hate "men to who lie to me" and "men who cheat on me?" Or does this also apply to lying to your dentist about flossing and cheating on a diet? Yes, no? Well be specific, ladies, jeez!
The rise of the Dislike?
So when is this going to happen?
When will facebook get a dislike button? I have my fair share of complainers, I mean friends, on FB and I refrain from saying what I really want to, so I end up saying nothing. The like button doesn't help this situation. A dislike button would be wonderful. I can say something without saying something. I can click a thumbs down and feel satisfied... "I dislike your situation and feel for you, but I also dislike that all you do is complain." My ego would feel satisfied. Or in all seriousness, there are times when someone posts something that you just don't know what to say to and again the "thumbs up/like" button is very inappropriate. I hate to say nothing, but cartoon Heather Says usually wins by thinking, "I'm not touching that one," and then disappears into the sunset in true Looney-Toon-Roadrunner fashion.
When will social networking sites ask me to list my dislikes? If you know of free social sites that already do this, please let me know. To the best of my knowledge, there are none. A list of dislikes, whether short or extensive, gives a pretty true snapshot of a person. Or perhaps users would just leave it blank like they often do instead of listing interests. Are they just drawing a blank or do they share my disease... "I don't know what I like and this is a chore that I don't feel like doing now or ever!"
When will blind date small talk gravitate towards the importance of dislikes? I feel like a lot of trouble and disaster could be avoided, but perhaps I'm just too fond of my own theory.
I don't think this will ever materialize. I think I'm the only person who cares and I'm fighting an uphill battle. I'm also very dramatic.
What ends a relationship? Likes or Dislikes?
Make a board on pinterest with all of the things you dislike. Mine could look pretty gross-- pictures of cigarettes, snakes, spiders, needles, blood, ghosts-- all at once!
Find someone you know (but like) online via a social networking site that lists "likes." Browse through their likes and see if you find anything that you particular dislike. Now find someone you dislike and check out their likes as well. The results might surprise you. This is all meant in fun and a little cyber stalking is healthy every now and then. And social networking tools are just that.
Extra credit if you feel inclined to enhance your current likes to make them more specific or adding dislikes to a profile that doesn't even ask for likes.
I check out the likes of my friends, frienemies, and enemies from time to time. Totally healthy!! It's always a little eye-opening. While doing this sometime last month, I discovered that I share the same wedding date with an exfriend. We called our friendship off years ago because I liked his dislikes and he liked all of mine. Life is funny, so have fun, and don't take me too seriously.
Likes and dislikes are both important, of course. I just feel like society places too much importance on interests and "likes." Let me know what you think though. Where do you fit into all of this madness?