Please Help! I Really Don't Want a Divorce.

Talk Through The Problems.

It is so easy to say talk about the problems you have. Yet so many couples cannot communicate with each other once a breakdown situation is arrived at. It could mean separation or even worse it could mean divorce. Is that what you really want. If not you must sit down and start talking, it's the only way to save your marriage. Divorce can be a scar for life on one party and a passport to freedom and happiness for the other. It really is that stark. So it is time to consider how to stop a divorce. By now you should have an idea of what you want to do.

Who Is To Blame.

Clearly if your partner has been unfaithful, then it's a case of forgiveness, are you able to forgive. Can you forgive the anguish which you have felt, the pain, the heartbreak and the betrayal. It is easier for some than others but remember you will never forget. Will you be able to cope with this as time passes. It might be that there is no particular reason for the breakdown, it might be that you have simply grown apart. Different interests, desires, friends and workload mean that couples lose that intimate closeness that they once had. In such cases neither side is to blame but because of their unhappiness with the situation they blame each other. The house has a air of 'raging calm' all the time. Conversation is nil. Happiness has flown out of the window. Often a row will start from nothing and both parties just want to get away from each other. It's at times like these that the word Divorce is mentioned, and hearts are broken.

Are There Any Children.

Obviously you will have talked about the effect a Divorce will have on any children. How will they take it, are you all very close, or are they perhaps afraid of one parent or the other. Should you carry on for their sake, or should you separate or Divorce. Only you and your spouse can answer these questions.

Staying Together Or Breaking Up.

Staying together means many changes. Both parties must make compromises. A real effort has to be made to build bridges. If there are financial problems work to resolve them. Easily said I know but clearing debts can bring the one thing we all strive for, Peace of Mind. If you can make an evening a week for each other, pain, angst and heartbreak can begin to heal. If there are children, take them out, never mind the computer and the games, let them see what life is like outside with their Mum and Dad. If you really want to be happy again, you must both do whatever it takes. It will not be easy, there might be setbacks but keep looking forward be honest with each other. Smile as often as you can, it will be your best chance of long term happiness.