Divorce and its pros and cons

This is a well known fact that more and more married people are divorcing all over the world. Globally, the rate of divorce is increasing. With variable statistics, it stands globally at present between 40% and 50%. The rate of divorce is higher in subsequent marriages than in the first marriage. The children of divorced parents are prone to divorcing four times more than children of couples who are not divorced. It has been found that divorce rate is higher in interracial couples.

We all know that a conflict-ridden marriage is not in the best interest of kids. At times, it is better for kids to live with one parent than to live with both parents amidst conflict, abuse or both.

I firmly believe in marriage. It's a real important decision that takes a lot of dedication and time. If you're thinking about divorce, you shouldn't get married.

- Seth Green

‘Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.’

- Jennifer Weiner

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

- P. J. O’Rourke

The above quotes show different perspectives of divorce by different individuals. The topic of divorce has been debated quite hotly by many at many fora. For many married couples, the problems increase with time and at a point in life the relation becomes unbearable. Then divorce is the only solution.

Pros and cons of divorce-

Pros- Divorce can change one’s life in different ways. Sometimes, it is for the better.

• A new beginning- After divorce, one can start life afresh free from the restrictive and oppressive environment of the marriage. One doesn’t have to go through mental or physical abuse or torture. One can choose the way one wants to live.
• Individual freedom- In a marriage one has to lead life in accordance with the wishes of the partner. One has to face whims and fancies of the partner even though one may not like them. The likes and dislikes of a partner are forced on the other.
• Romantic life- After divorce one has the freedom to pursue the love interests again. One can find someone more attractive and suitable to one’s likes and then romantic involvement may ensue. This may be followed by courtship and marriage.
• Financial empowerment- Especially for career women, after divorce they get financial freedom to spend and save their income as they wish. They don’t have to seek permission of their partners to do so. Thus they get financial empowerment.
• Benefits to children- Kids whose parents live in two homes develop certain skills after a period of transition. They have better communication, organization, time management and relationship building skills because they are more independent. Hence, they become more responsible. In homes where there is violence against children or spouse, open substance abuse and constant yelling and destruction of property, divorce is solace for such children.

Cons- It has certain disadvanges which may have far-reaching effects.

• It hurts- The process of divorce and the period following it may be painful because the couple develop emotional bond with each other. To break the bond is quite painful especially for children since they are more or less equally attached with both the parents.
• It reduces living standards- If both the partners are earning, divorce will reduce the living standards of both. Probably, both will have to watch the budget as never before in the past married life.
• It changes personal relationships- It means changes in relationships with other people like friends and relatives of ex-spouse. One is forced to change the dynamics of the relationship with people who did not support an individual at the time of divorce.
• It hurts children- The children of divorced parents are more likely to suffer one or more of difficulties including depression, delinquency, low school performance and social problems. It has been found that children of intact but unhappy homes are on an average happier and better adjusted than children whose parents have divorced.
• It makes parenting difficult- Parenting after divorce becomes a challenge even for decades to come.

People have so wide ranging opinions about this burning issue that any write-up on this issue will generate different responses among readers. Even people, who have faced divorce, will have different views depending upon their personal experiences.