Waiting for the Magic? Is Your Relationship In Need of Help?
I will try my best to make this as short as I can. I have read many of your articles and just love how you get down to the wire about things as well solving any issue that the person has.
First off I am 19 years old (the person I am writing about is 23). To be honest I have been in head over heels for the same person for the past 3-4 years. We used to be next door neighbors though I was always too shy, it never got passed the knock on the door to borrow something or saying hello when we passed each other. He was always kind and helped me when he could. He eventually moved to help his family *3-4 hours away*. We have kept in touch through phone calls, emails and whenever he's in town we'll spend some time together.
He rarely visits the city *where I am located* and to be honest he's not much of a Internet guy as well. He's an avid mountain climber/marathon runner etc. So his weekends are usually filled with activities revolving around that. He is going to college and working as well. So to put it short he is quite busy. There are times where it would take him a week to call me back or even a month to email me back. I as well lead a busy life, with work, special need family members and planning my future so I have not been bothered by the lack of contact.
Here is the thing, he hasn't come into town in nearly a year *which is when I last saw him in person*. I haven't spoken to him over the phone that much and emailed him a couple of weeks ago *No reply as of yet*. Here is the thing.. When I speak to him or when I see him? I have this feeling that he is indeed interested in me. He tells me that he always enjoys talking to me, told me that I am beautiful and always pleasant to be around. That he couldn't believe I was next door to him the whole time.
Some have said that he just may be dating someone else and keeping me on the back burner. Which I can't confirm since to be honest he hasn't brought the subject of dating anyone to me. So if he is then I have no idea, he hasn't mentioned other women besides some of his old friends to me.
He is suppose to come into town in a couple of months and he said when he makes it to town he'll call me. Last time *a couple of months ago*
it was canceled due to really bad weather and he said he meant to email me to let me know he wasnt coming *when I called to check if he was coming into town for the event, we didn't make any plans to meet at that time though*
Here is the main reason I am emailing you. I have no idea what to do. Do I wait and wait for something to magically happen? Or do I get the guts to tell him how I feel? I don't want to surprise him and lose our friendship, I guess I am not much o f a risk taker to be honest. I also worry that our distance is a bit of a problem as well. Though I do not want to move on to someone else for now * I have dated other guys though I still wind up thinking about him at the end of the day* I feel that he is an incredible person and someone that I can see myself spending my life with.
What do you think I should do?
P.S. I sincerely apologize for this being so long.
Honestly it doesn't sound like he's been anything more than just polite with you. If he forgets to tell you he isn't coming to town I really doubt he's thinking anything romantic of you at all. I'm sorry to be the one to break this news but, if he wanted to see you, he wouldn't forget to tell you his plans.
You could tell him your feelings if you want. Don't worry about ruining the friendship, it doesn't sound like it's much of a close friendship. My guess is he will respond by telling you he doesn't feel the same way. Hopefully this will be the closure you need to move on and have more interest in dating.
I think sometimes we spend too much time alone in our heads with things. I think this is just something you've created in your mind, and you've seen what you want to see here. While that's not uncommon, it's still not very helpful or accurate when assessing a situation, like the one you're describing.
This may be the kind of thing you'd like to speak with a counselor about. It may help more than you realize.
Good luck to you, thanks for reading.
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