- Gender and Relationships
Learning To Be Yourself
Many years ago someone told me that I seemed different. Honestly, I think being unique is good, and we should embrace it more. Often it is easier to fit in and go with the flow, and when you are younger it can be disconcerting if you are an outsider. However, I believe it is okay to be different, and I never swoop down upon those I disagree with because to be quite frank: I do not need a pack to support my way of thinking. I swim against the tide from time to time, and realize I do not always fit in with traditional societal expectations. What was the issue about today? I simply mentioned that many people in our society rush down the aisle, and a few seemed a little frazzled about my mentioning a statement I hear people share with me all the time! Quite frequently people share how so and so only knew each other for a few months, and how crazy it was they decided to get married. I am sure that many of these unions are happy and last a long time, but I have also heard of many people who got married quickly and where it just did not work out.
Even the relationship experts recommend taking your time to get to know someone, but to me that is just good common sense. Personally I have strong intuition skills and after knowing someone for a year I can tell if they are a person that I would want to be around or not. I have known a few who people who were pressured by their significant others and/or family to get married after having only dated for a few weeks or months, but those unions only lasted a few years.
With the entire debacle over Jon and Kate and all the vapid things people are writing about them, it has actually renewed my interest in not dating. Here are two people that if they had not done this show together society would not be critiquing their marriage, but because of their celebrity, people feel that it is their inalienable right to do so. Actually I have seen some delight in saying well you put yourself out there and I reserve the right to critique you, which just comes across as way too judgmental! Sorry, but someone putting themselves in the limelight does not mean you get to judge what type of parent or spouse they are, and if you do then maybe you are just feeding into the hype machine that you personally claim to be so offended by.
I am tired of reading and hearing how people think Kate has exploited her children because that is just not true, and honestly I think now people have choosen her as their villain of the hour. There are several other reality shows with people featuring their children, but recently it seems the heat is on Kate because so many want her to be the bad guy, and Jon to be the good guy who has been the underdog for years. Maybe if some of these critics actually listened to what Jon and Kate had to say they might hear their side of the story, but people are just so busy saying boycott the show that many are actually getting some facts wrong.
Also, I am highly skeptical of anyone who says boycott any show, movie, or book because to me that comes across as a form of censorship. It seems those rallying against the show may also be seeking a degree of fame, and using the notoriety of Jon and Kate to achieve this goal.
Yes, Kate was demanding of Jon, but I could tell you of hundreds of women that I have met who act the same way. Watching the show and listening to what Jon had to say, I get the impression he feels he may have rushed into marriage too young in life because he made a point of saying how he is only thirty-two on several occasions. So my thought about people rushing into marriage, is how they should be more cautious because of the high divorce rate. I see people like Jon and Kate as being genuinely good people despite all the harsh publicity otherwise, and it makes me feel sad others need to disparage. As for the bloggers who keep claiming that Kate is exploiting her children, well I think if you ask me they are exploiting this entire situation to drive page views. Think I am wrong? If the nay sayers thought the Jon and Kate sensation was so horrible then they would not be writing disparaging things to be cached on the way back machine. How do these bloggers think Jon and Kate's kids will feel one day when they read all of the ridiculous things people have written about their parents?
Actually, the act of reading these type of blogs that makes me not even want to try dating again because even if you do have a good relationship, who is to say it will not end in ten years? Also, who is to say that when your relationship ends people will not be sitting there and judging you! Most people that write blogs have a following ranging from small to very large, so what would happen if one day you became a household name? What if your family was offered the opportunity to do a show, which would help to bring more income into your household? Would you one day find yourself in the same place as Jon and Kate, and how would you feel if other bloggers were critiquing every move you made?
We really need to get off the big judgemental game, and people should focus on their own children and marriages. Leave Jon and Kate alone, and if you hate their show then do not watch it.
Honestly, I started watching it a month ago when I started hearing all of these ridiculous rumors about Jon and Kate, and from what I have seen of their lifestyle they are not decadent like some other celebrities. They bought a nice house for their kids and take them on vacations, which is many other families would do if they had the economic resources. However, there are other celebrities who buy several houses and blow their money on luxury items galore, and people are worried about Jon and Kate?! Another thing that bothers me about people saying that Jon and Kate exploit their kids is how there are several other reality TV shows where people involve their children, but people only seem focused on these two because of the paparazzi debacle.
Jaded About It All
I am slightly jaded about all dating and relationships at this point in my life. When I was younger people around me tried to convey I would be lonely later in life unless I was paired off. I tried the dating thing for six years of my life, and I have to say I was much happier before I ever discovered it. Not everyone wants to have a thick skin or to be as tough as nails, and to me it is actually more vulnerable to admit you are not so. I never had a guy in a real world setting express wanting to have a long term commitment with me, and I am not going to let this bother me too much. When I see marriages not working and think back on all of my failed dating experiences, it certaintly does not make me want to try again!
The happiest times in my life are when I am away from dating period. Looking upon my life I realize I may be one of the most single people on the planet, which is funny because I never thought that would be me. I actually thought by now I would be married, but I realized finally that is not my path in life. I am destined to be alone and single, and when I came to terms with that fact at thirty, I actually felt content. Some people have stated you need a relationship to find male companionship, but recently I have developed a few male friendships where I can find the same things. I may not be dating those people, but I can talk with them about topics I could never address with someone I dated.
Two months ago I deemed to give out my phone number once again because a nice guy asked, but since I did not hear from him for two months I did not think much of it.
Last weekend he called with great urgency saying he was taking me out that night, and I just told him I was tired and I had to sleep, which actually was true. I did not understand why all the intensity after a lapse of two whole months, and to me it just screams number collector! Actually that has been my experience with many men I have met, and if they were not excited enough to call me when they first asked, I was certainly not interested enough to go out with them when they finally take months before following up. I am sure he is a perfectly nice guy, but with all the talk about failed relationships these days I just am not interested. I hated those days when I was going on a myriad of blind dates and there was always these new people coming and going out of my life. I need stability and can attest to the fact single ladies can find male companionship beyond a relationship.