ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Do You Really Want Your Ex Back?

Updated on October 15, 2009

Why Would You Want Your Ex Back?

When someone stomps on your heart, why would you want them back? Or, were you the one that stomped on their heart? Either way, pain is pain, and surviving a traumatic break up is difficult. So troublesome that sometimes it can seem that being in a bad relationship is better having no relationship. Difficult enough to let your mind play tricks on you, and actually believe 'maybe it wasn't that bad, really.

Wanting your ex back is a vicious circle. It's a love-hate merry-go-round. You need to revisit the reason why the affair, marriage, or friendship fell apart. Was the relationship a matter of convenience or an enriched significant experience? Did the relationship provide luxurious material things and exciting weekend trips and getaways? Was the sex invigorating or only average at best? Were you treated badly, abused, or were you treated with respect and equality?

It's important to examine each reason about why it fell apart, and just how badly you were hurt, or how severely you hurt the other person. Sometimes a broken heart can be damaged beyond repair; there are limitations. Even though there are things you miss about the other person, are those things worth chancing the same outcome?

If you do get back with your ex, most likely the first few weeks, even months, will be absolutely joyous and sensational. The passionate flames will seem to burn brighter than ever before. But, the when a hint of doubt enters into the picture, would you or could trust and carry on steadfastly?

Doubt, anxiety or jealousy can eat you alive! And, even if they are unfounded – this time, would you be able to shake it off and believe the relationship is strong and healthy? Believe me, you need to be prepared, because WILL remember how violated, ashamed, mistreated, and degraded this person made you feel.

Did the relationship break up because of family involvement, or did your partner dislike certain members of your family? Did you originate from different cultures, religions, or ideals? Don't doubt the saying that 'blood is thicker than water.' Family bonds are strong and deep, and you need to tread lightly. Demanding family alienation will guarantee problems. Avoiding the others blood-ties is only a way to ignore, or be in denial about problems that need to be faced and worked out. Sooner or later, denying yourself or partner to interact with family will backfire and explode in your face. Your partner might begin to feel anger or a sense of loss, and this can lead to yet another disastrous break up.

Open and honest communication is key. And, don't even think that everything you will hear is going to be sugar-coated. Many times the truth hurts, but it needs to be respected. Knowing the truth is better than false pretenses, promises, or lies. Disagreements can hurt, but so can honesty. You did want to re-open the wounds and build a stronger relationship, one that will be truthful and open, right? If you can't accept or offer truisms and progress from there, perhaps you would be wide to re-think this whole thing.

My grandmother once told me that a relationship is like a piece of fine china. If it gets broken you might be able to mend it, but it will be very fragile and can break more easily than before.

Putting a relationship back together is one thing, but keeping it together is a horse of a different color.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)