Do you think an Affair just Happens?
Infidelity and faithfulness
The many cheating couples, have lame excuses when it comes to having an affair.
· ''They don't know how their relationship got to the point of an affair it just happened.''
It is sad to know that such cheaters can think of those lines, and feel guilt about their actions.
To have an affair, you got to have a plan in motion, it does not just happen out of the blue.
An affair is well-planned out before any action is taken.
You can meet people from any part of the world, and once you choose to step over the boundaries you are having that affair.
Don't be surprised at yourself. It is all you, and not someone else who is taking action.
You got to choose the next step to improve the situation.
Off-course you were thinking of having an affair, but not without you contemplating on the consequences.
You don't just find yourself in the arms of another by some kind of magic state of mind.
When you spend too much time with a colleague you tend to lose track of reality and fix your mind on what is right in front of you.
· For example:
If your co-worker is right by your side daily, you can grow closer, and start to share personal experiences, and conversations.
In these ways emotions can go deeper, until one day you have had enough of talking, and figured out it is time to move on from that stage.
The tension builds up, and before you know it, the affair had already taken charge.
It is not easy to trust yourself. Being alone with opposite sex the emotions can come alive, and the tension can grow higher, or uncontrollable.
The need to talk to someone can lead to many surprises.
You make mistakes and can find out yourself but in an awkward position.
An evening out, can change everything from what you are expecting and just that happens.
When you choose to have too many alcoholic drinks, one thing can lead to another, and the next day you blame the alcohol for your wrong doing.
Marriages go bad when there is a lack of attention love, respect or communication. Whatever ruins a good marriage it can allow you to have an affair.
The need to get away from that nagging wife, or unhappy marriage, makes you seek the other as part of your life.
The kind of relationship that is all sweet in the beginning can end badly. Every relationship begins that way.
When you get into your comfortable zone this happens all over again.
· So what does an unhappy marriage do to you?
· Do you think unhappy marriages causes infidelity?
No, an unhappy marriage does not cause infidelity.
When you are unfaithful to your partner then you are causing that unwanted infidelity.
· When partners feel dead inside for the first time in their marriages they choose to have an affair and say, '' The affair just happened.''
An individual who thinks an affair just happened is the one who failed to see their real actions.
Many individuals believe that an affair does not happen on its own. Only the person involved in this behavior believes it.
If you cheating on your partner, it is your choice, and there should be no excuses. You put yourself in that situation.
· Why get married if you are going to have an affair?
With such behavior it is hard to control one's actions.
You make a commitment, and then one day realize you can't go on anymore with the same partner.
Most people don't think twice about having an affair they work toward that accomplishment.
Cheaters look for a sense of value from others, if not from their current partners. Cheaters feel the need to look for security.
Both partners are wrong in such cases, though it is what they have chosen to do.
You have set up to meet each other, and acted on your feelings which led to the infidelity.
It can be tormenting for cheaters who take an affair lightly.
A cheater should be responsible for their actions.
Marriages fall apart all the time. The many divorces have shown the results. You trust your best friend with your husband or wife.
At the end of the day something can brew-up.
This can be without you even noticing that something had happened.
In most situations you fail to see the other side of the other person.
You don't think it will happen to you!
What lays ahead you will never know, and what develops from a friendship is more than what you will ever think of.
· Your open mind lets it go too easily.
Innocent people get caught up in affairs and they say an affair just happens.
In reality that is so not how it all happens.
Don't go out with someone you know will cause your good relationship to go down.
· For example:
You don’t pay attention to your husband's needs and he is constantly with women you think ''they are just friends,'' and their ''conversations'' are just ''general conversations.''
When one of the women asks your man out on a date, that can make you feel quite shocked.
She wanted to have an affair with him.
· Now you see how an affair begins.
The friendly touch improves, and you never know what would be next.
Just keep your eyes open and hear every word in conversation thoroughly to know more.
An affair happens when you make that decision.
It is an opportunity taken that had presented itself.
It is your personal choice.
People who stay in a bad marriage or the unhappy marriage to keep their commitment can't get out immediately.
Their own feelings are kept within; mostly the issue is about love, neglect, money and lack of interest.
· What would you be without a commitment?
Couples married for over thirty years, and have four children, now adults.
The couple has been swingers or has had an open marriage for many years.
They have given each other full consent to have other partners, however, they chose to do that.
In the arrangement they have increased their partners, and have become friends with many more partners.
Most people won't go for the idea of open marriages.
It works for preventing the affair that just happens.
Open marriages don't always work out for most couples.
· How often have you heard ''I never meant for this to happen,'' or ''It is not what it looks like?''
Sometimes individuals don't believe they can actually get themselves in such situations. It is called self-justifying instead of apologizing.
· When does an affair happen?
When a partner is taken for granted an affair slowly creeps up.
Partners who take their significant other for granted, or who would go to great lengths to find another to satisfy their needs.
It can be from cooking for them, or to the bed department.
The empty feeling is being filled by another with laughs and romantic touches.
Cheaters can claim they did not have the attention, love, or devotion from their partners including, admiration, or respect.
· Why does the affair happen?
The partner who wants out of the marriage uses the excuse as betrayal to get out.
The individual has already thought of an affair, and feels the divorce request will work out perfectly to get them out of a commitment.
If they stay in a troubled marriage surely they would cheat in any way.
It works before you have the affair. You admit you would betray someone if you don't leave right away.
Cheating does not fix relationships; instead it does the exact opposite.
Cheating destroys relationships and marriages,, and keeps you telling lies continuously.
· An example of a cheater.
A woman has claimed to have had an affair while dealing with major Depression.
The problem here, her husband did not pay attention to her health issues.
Basically, she was isolated and had neglected her life.
There were lots of hang ups, like her personal life was falling apart in her marriage. The problem the husband did not give her a chance to fix things between them.
· He would look at her and say, ‘get a life woman because I won't be coming to you anymore.'
The struggle was enormous.
She did just that, and found a friend to make her husband happy.
After all, this time she finally felt worthy of herself. A friend made her feel good about herself.
He lifted her out of her depression mode, and her close connection to this guy had developed into more than just a friendship
The woman however, knew she could not pursue the relationship. It would be wrong of her to go on seeing him. She chose not to.
· Do you think this was her fault?
The woman feels she was completely unfaithful to her husband.
The friendship of another man would have not had to come into her life.
She coped with major depression without the help for her husband; instead she chose to deal with her depression with another stranger.
· Cheating can happen to anyone but only if the individual allows cheating to happen.
An Affair Should not be an Excuse
Cheating in Relationships
When Does an Affair Happen?
© 2014 Devika Primić