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  • What is Love?

Do you want to know what love is?

Updated on September 10, 2013

Love goes deeper than facial blushing.

When I was in first grade, I had a huge crush on a little boy. I can still remember him today sitting there trying to avoid my gaze. My face almost purple in color in shyness, smiling from ear to ear.

Little girls often grow up fantasizing about their future love.

When I was in high school, my English teacher asked this question in class.

Is Love All You Need?

I never answered the question because I couldn't come up with a valid explanation until now.

Source

Seek and you shall find.

From generation to generation, we see a new acceptable premise for marriage. At one point, age didn't matter. Then 18 became the new normal. Anything less was forbidden. Anything older was scoffed at.

My grandparents married at 15. My grandmother was from West Virginia. She was a coal miner's daughter. Her mother, a descendant of the Hatfields and McCoys, found work in Connecticut at Electric Boat as a pipefitter. She settled here after marrying her fifth husband, a United States War Veteran.

My grandmother missed living down south and wanted to return but was swept off of her feet by a tall handsome strong farm boy she met at the corner of North and South Streets.

As she waited for the bus one day, my grandfather passed her by on a bicycle. He stopped and asked, "what are you doing?" She replied, "I'm waiting on a bus." To which he stated with all seriousness, "how can you be waitin' on a bus, if you are standing on a street corner!"

For reasons only known to the two, they fell in love, married, began a family and until the day my grandmother passed away, my grandfather loved her so deeply like she was the only woman on earth.

What causes a couple to marry and stay together for over 60 years while others never find Mr. or Mrs. Right and end up divorcing multiple times.

Is there truth in trying to make a relationship work for you that you feel nothing from?

Your heart is soft like fur. It purrs at your wants and desires.

Source

What feelings are stirred by love?

Many people have deep-rooted emotions associated with love that they stifle.

Possible reasons could be hurt, distrust, abuse or fear.

Sometimes bad things happen to us as children and we grow up never trusting out of fear and disappointment that we might feel that pain again that we grew up avoiding to get over.

The number one element to love is passion. Passion is a desire that is so strong it can barely be contained.

So what then, drives this force between two people?

Attraction, instinct, want, need, and a feeling of despair or loneliness?

Have you found your true love?

See results

Is love blind?

What does it mean when someone says love is blind?

Most oftenly, it refers to someone who overlooks things that would otherwise normally turn them away because their heart speaks a different language. Little annoyances or pet peeves can be tuned out when someone's heart is shouting at a recipient of desired anticipation.

This in itself poses a problem because later on after the newness of a relationship wears off, what's really left except annoyances and pet peeves that were once hidden from sight previously?

The different is, when one is truly in love, those characteristics that a person used to detest are now at the forefront. The person learns to overlook them and love them along with the one their heart desires.

Wild Orchid.

Wild Orchid is a movie about a woman heading off to a first interview with an international law firm. Her first assignment would be in Rio de Janeiro where the firm's top executive is closing a hotel deal.

This film raked in over $11 million dollars at the box office.

For most people, this film may not be appropriate due to the nature and content of the film. In fact, allegedly, it is rumored that the first version was so graphic due to mature content that it's rating almost limited its viewing potential. After editing a love scene, it was brought back down to an appropriate rating for the movies and television.

Even without the scene that was removed, it is quite notable for how the characters manipulate the desire from within the person they so want to be with to the point of no return.

The reason I am choosing this particular soft-core film to write about in this article is because after watching the film for the first time, it awakened my soul to truly understand what it is about loving someone that I can now explain in words.

Love

What it is
What is isn't
Beautiful
Lacking
Intimate
Unwanting
Together
Undeserving
Want
Untrusting
Need
Not worthy
Desire
Apart

When your heart skips a beat.

It's a perfectly healthy want and desire for the person you have chosen as a partner in life.

Heart Throb.

The definition of heart throb is typically a rich or famous person whose attractiveness excites immature romantic feelings in another.

While that may be true, going back to my first grade experience, blushing over little Johnny, I've since learned that a heart throb is not just an immature lust or craving for another human being.

Hysteria.

Hysteria is commonly defined as uncontrollable emotional drama, loss of self-control due to fear.

Yet, a 2011 film set in a Victorian Era shows how the medical diagnosis of hysteria in females led to an invention of a vibrating manipulative that replaced human touch. This movie was nearly an $8 million dollar box office hit.

In history, manual massage of women has been medically recorded since antiquity. Hysteria was confirmed as a medical condition until the American Psychiatric Association discontinued this term in 1952. (The first electronic vibrating manipulative was patented in 1883 for the treatment of muscular disorders, but other physicians caught on to the desired outcomes and started to apply it to the treatment of hysteria.)

Two peas in a pod.

Source

What is it that one longs for?

If human touch can be manipulated through vibration, what is it that we long for in love?

  • The touch of one we desire against our skin?
  • A helper in life that seeks to understand us and gain knowledge about our needs and wants?
  • Someone to assist us when we fall down and can't get up on our own?
  • A person who wants us, wherever, and whenever, to be around him/her to share time with?

Make a list.

When truly soul searching for a partner in life, love goes beyond initial attraction.

While you'll want to find your partner handsome or beautiful, love goes deeper in to the heart than outward appearance.

Before trying to find the perfect mate, it's advisable to create a list. Write down specific attributes of a person you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with.

  1. Appearance. What are you attracted to? What color hair or eyes do you find most appealing?
  2. Style. Do you have a particular fashion standard?
  3. Attitude and perspective. What will you tolerate?
  4. Do material things matter to you?
  5. Where do you see yourself in five years?
  6. Do you want to buy or rent a home?
  7. Do you want children?
  8. Do you see yourself in a committed relationship or do you like your independence?
  9. What are your expectations as far as this person's level of education/work ethic, etc.?
  10. What's the most important thing to you in a relationship? Honesty, respect, trust?

Truth about relationships.

Many people are devastated when they learn that the partner they thought was their perfect choice turns out to disappoint or hurt them.

Divorce is costly and painful.

The truth is people change.

When you set your goals and make a list of what you want in another person, you are setting forth your set of standards. This is a good place to start because when it comes to love and long-term commitments, you shouldn't have to settle for less than your heart desires.

You may not get what you are looking for.

There are all sorts of reasons that being with someone won't work out over the long term of things.

Sometimes, when you least expect it, love finds you.

You may not get what you are looking for. You'll get more than you ever dreamed up in your wildest imagination.

Are you prepared to handle a relationship like that? If you truly want to know what love is, when it finds you, will you be ready?

Love is yummier than chocolate.

Greeting card I made for my husband.
Greeting card I made for my husband. | Source

If nothing else, we'll always have love.

What is love?

Love is a point between two people when they realize their destination has been joined by a partner. It commits no crime. It knows no hate. It loves unconditionally. The point of no return is when two people join hearts and become one. Their desire for each other grows deeper in time even though it started out well beneath the surface in the beginning.

Love is desire, want and need. The longing from within to be with that one very special person forever and ever.

Love is the unbreakable chain, the steel grip sunk deep in to the lives of each individual which creates a bond no one can break through.

Love is knowing someone, caring for them, delighting in all they do and reciprocating that very sentiment without loneliness.

Loving someone is the unselfish act of giving your all to fulfill another's hopes and dreams and likewise accomplish your own.

While I may never know the purpose of life or why we are all so unique, I do know this.

To answer my English teacher's long-overdue question about whether or not love is all we need, I can honestly answer with a heartfelt yes.

At one time I did not know whether or not love would be enough. But the day has come when love is all I have. It's all I have to give. It's all I want. It's all I need. It has gotten me through days when I didn't want to bear the pain of it all. It lifts me up.

It maintains a sense of who I am and directs my path to give love in return.

When love is all that's left, why yes, love is all we need.

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    • profile image

      Park 2 years ago

      Christmas came up on us way too fast. I'm thinking it's becsuae the weather has been so warm. In regards to my kid's Halloween outfits, we bought them. My husband did make the wings out of cardboard and the tops of them were 1/2 an Easter egg painted red. The wings online had bad reviews. I had to take the top part of the costume off and add a strip purple fabric in the middle. My oldest is so torso long.

    • Jay Jhonson profile image

      Jay Jhonson 3 years ago

      How about a 3rd option of Maybe in your poll? I say that because some may have loved and lost...Just a suggestion ofcourse.

      Also may i politely bring 2 words to your attention?

      (not to be rude or anything, as a blogger i appreciate it myself)

      Is love blind: different - difference

      Hysteria: massage - message

      Interesting read. I both agreed and disagreed with some of your content. That doesn't make it any less interesting though...so thanks. :)

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Hi Mark! I will check out your Hub as well. Thank you so much for your input here. It is definitely true that sometimes no matter what we do, we find ourselves on the wrong side.

    • profile image

      markzin1 3 years ago

      Good hub! This love issue remains a big mystery. knowing that you are in love is the first problem, and having your sentiments reciprocated in the same manner is another. Some times you follow all the advise you can get, and still find your self on the wrong site. God help us! I have written a hub on the topic. hope it serves well.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Thank you so much DDE! I had a lot of fun writing this one.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Interesting about what is love I am fascinated by this information, and yet so true in many ways.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Hi Ruchi! Such beautiful words. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Hi Moonlake! Thank you for commenting. Nice to see you!

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image

      Ruchi Urvashi 3 years ago from Singapore

      As I have lived my life, I feel love is more what we give than we receive. When we give love, we create love inside and we are already overflowing with it. Then, it is natural for us to receive love in all dimensions including romantic love if that is our desire.

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 3 years ago from America

      Enjoyed reading your hub. Voted up.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Hi Karma! Thank you for stopping by! Congratulations to you and I wish you well in your relationship.

    • Karmallama profile image

      Doreen Lucky 3 years ago from St. Paul, minnesota

      I love the hub and the subject. I must admit that I have recently fallen in love and that is what brough me here. However, I enjoyed reading this as it was practical and cute. Thank you for sharing

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Cris! Congratulations! That is wonderful.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      What a perfectly delightful read on this humid-rainy night! This summer I celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary with my "imperfectly perfect" hubby. I'm pretty sure that is love!

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Brave, there's nothing wrong with making a career your love! I had one before I chose to stop working and be home with my children. It is very rewarding when we find something to do that we truly enjoy.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      Crafty, I agree. Love is love from wherever it comes. I sometimes I had someone to grow old with. I don't see it happening. I'm no longer interested in finding someone to spend my life with. I'm too independent and don't always make the right choices in mates. For now, my love is me and my budding career.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      I should add, I do have children that love me. I mis-wrote that there.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Brave, you must have been reading my mind because I was just about to look you up. I finished the mac & cheese, and now I'm sitting here about to go pick up the children from school. ;D

      I was also married for 10 years and divorced. He is the father of my children. I will always honor him for that. I thought he was my true love, but I went in to the relationship for the wrong reasons. I was adopted when I was younger. My mother never bonded with me, and after 20 years of being gone, she returned when I was happily married and pregnant. Since then, the entire family relationship as I knew it as a child dissolved. I no longer have any relationship with most people from my past. I wish I had a family like yours from the way you described it the other day on a different post. That never happened for me, and I had to learn to accept it was what it is.

      But when I found my current husband, none of that mattered. I truly found what love is through the way he loves me.

      So we are the same in different situations. You have love from a family and a child. I didn't have that, but I have a man who loves me.

      We are both loved, and that's what matters most, my friend! :D

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      Crafty, I found true love in the 80s. Unfortunately, my passion lied in partying and his in old girlfriends that would resurface. I married and divorced twice since then. He's never married, although he's living with someone. We are still close friends and talk often. We both know we screwed up and still love each other, but time has gone by and the love has to be what it is now - deep friendship. At least I have my son and my family. That is love that will never die nor disappoint.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Thank you EP! I truly appreciate your comments.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Wonderful and candid advice and examples. This a beautiful, wonderfully written hub. Voted up and shared.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image
      Author

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Hi Heather! Yes, my children also have my heart. Thank you for commenting friend.

    • HeatherH104 profile image

      HeatherH104 3 years ago from USA

      Nice hub, it reminded me of how I fell for my husband years ago. The love is still there but of course the newness of it is long gone.

      I can't help feeling that I never really knew love until my sons were born. I love my husband but my boys have my heart.

      Voted up. :)