- Gender and Relationships
Do You Enjoy Sexting?-Stephanie Bailey
Sexting = sending sexual innuendos over text
Have you ever gotten turned on by just reading a text? Trust me, sexting is not only an art, but a skill. First, you need to be sure that this type of text will be accepted—starting off with flirtatious text messages and slowly building to small sexual innuendos. Once you have received the "green light" that the person your texting is into sexting—then, and only then, do you continue to build. Think of sexting like the ratings of a movie—you didn't just jump into seeing a rated R movie. First you checked out a PG, then PG-13 and then R. You built up your desire. Most people want to experience light foreplay and then heavy before jumping into sex—sexting is the same way.
But, don't get swept up in the heat of the moment! If the person you are sexting is not responding, you have gone too far and possibly out of their comfort zone. There is a huge difference between sending vulgar or crude text messages versus sending a sexy text message. If sexting is done right and with the right person (chemistry as well as a sexual attraction is imperative), you will create an intense euphoria that will ignite a mutual desire. Most women don't want a sexual text from someone they haven't even kissed or possibly seen naked. And even if you have been intimate, it's important to make sure that the person is still interested and open to receiving a sexual text.
The best sexual messages are the ones that are built on—pulling you in wanting to read more with every text you receive.
"I can't stop thinking about you..."
"What are you thinking?"
"Just thinking about kissing you."
"I like hearing that."
"I want your body on mine."
"That sounds nice."
"I could run my hands all over your body."
"You're turning me on."
"I want to kiss and touch every inch of you."
"I've got to see you right now."
Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to sext (and timing is everything). If you have never kissed, fooled around or had sex with the person you are sexting, then sexting can be inappropriate. And sending a picture of your "full monty"—a definite no, no unless you're prepared for it to make its rounds on the Internet. A tease can be nice—guys without their shirts on and ladies in sexy lingerie—however, the intimate relationship needs to already be established. Let the first time someone sees you fully naked be in person—it will have more meaning.
Sexting is an art—you either will make the person receiving the text want you more, want to read more, or it will be a complete sexual repellent.
No one likes someone who rushes into sexting too quickly. I had a guy who I hadn't become intimate with text me how sexy I am (which is nice to hear), then he proceeded to tell me how he wanted to kiss me (my heart raced a little since I was definitely attracted to him)—and then Bam! Two seconds later he's texting how he wants to send me inappropriate photos and have me watch him do inappropriate things to himself...Really? He went from intriguing me to disgusting me. Going from 0 to 60 too quickly is a major turnoff.
The important thing about sexting is that the build up is key. Slowly opening the communication by describing what you want to do without being vulgar or disrespectful is crucial. No one likes to feel as though you only see them as a sexual object or only want to slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am, so don't have every text be sexual. The best sexting is when you're not only getting hot and bothered, but are also feeling that the person genuinely cares about you—asking how you are and wanting to know personal things about you.
Know this—getting turned-on by a text is one thing, actual follow through is another. Some people are ready to act on their sexting, while for others it may just be "text-talk." There's no right or wrong—just make sure you're both on the same page, so that sexual frustration doesn't manifest or become an issue.
Bottom line, if sexting is not for you (and the conversation is being steered that way), then make sure you are upfront right away—let the person you're texting know that you are not the sexting type. However, if you have a risqué side, then sexting just might be for you.