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Does Facebook Ruin Relationships??

Updated on August 11, 2010

Does Social Networking Help People Cheat

So lets be honest, in this new world of never ending technology there is so much that can be done online that it is impossible to keep up with everything. When it comes to social networking on different sites such as, Myspace, Facebook, Tagged etc., there is a ever growing trend of infidelity and old lovers reuniting secretly daily. Now don't get me wrong, it is beautiful how these sites have reunited tons of families as well as long lost loves. But what about when you are currently in a relationship and that old flame you never got over decides to drop you a friend request on Facebook?? What do you do??

I know alot of couples who actually both have Facebook accounts and they are very trustworthy of one another because of the security and commitment in there relationships. So thats the good part!! I also know some couples who have secret social networking accounts and their spouse or significant other have no idea. If there is nothing going on then why do you have to hide it and why can't the other party have one as well??

It is hard enough when you are out in public and you see an ex or your partners ex and you all have this weird awkward moment but online it is a little different. Even though I am in a relationship, (and I have noted that on my profile) people still have a tendency to inbox me saying how they always had a crush on me and they miss me and so forth. It really irritates me because me and my partner have each others pass codes but not to snoop, but because we have alot of trust. We also use our Facebook accounts for business purposes as well so this helps when the other is not around. So it really sickens me when people do not respect the fact that you have moved on or never had intentions of hooking back up with old flings.

Personally I do have friends who cheat and hook up with exes and new dudes that they have met on these social sites but it is not for me to judge. I just had to wonder if you are in a serious relationship, is it Facebook etc. or you and your relationship?? Can we really blame Facebook for all the little filthy sneaky things these cheaters do?? Yes and No in my opinion. Oh and by the way I must add that it is not just my female friends, it is also the males who feel like they can just do what they want because they see some old or new options.

I honestly do not believe that these site account for all of the issues but it sure helps. Nowadays when people cheat they already know that their partner 9 times out of 10 will look in their phone. Sites like Facebook and Myspace just make it a little easier to creep especially if your partner does not have your pass code.

How Can You Tell Your Partner Or Spouse Is Using facebook To Cheat??

There are a number of ways to spot the signs of a cheater whether it is on or offline.

  • They are very private about who they talk too- This is very suspicious too me because when I run into old friends on Facebook I love showing my partner because I want him to already have an understanding or be aware of my life and past friends.
  • They never want to log on in front of you even if you do so - A very good sign because they usually have inbox messages if they have been sending some and they know you will be curious as to what they are talking about secretly with others even if it is innocent in the end.
  • They do not want you to have one- OK now this is an obvious sign because just like they have a past and old school friends, so do you. So what is this about?? Most people who cheat or have intentions of cheating on these sites do not want you to be on their friend list of course because then you will be able to see certain comments etc. and next thing you know the questions will start and they know it will cost problems.
  • They Profile Status Is Still "Single" or "Its Complicated": This really opens the doors for people to feel that they can pursue your partner as well as say what they want freely on┬átheir wall. This causes alot of drama because these pursuers are under the impression that your partner is single or that their current relationship is in trouble.
  • They Have Alot Of Exes On Their Friend List: Too many exes mean nothing but drama. I know their are people who went to school with their exes and/or they are still just good friends but it just seems odd when every last one of them are on there list but you are not. I think the past should be left in the past and so forth.

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    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago from Southern Clime

      It is true that these social sites are easy avenues to cheating, but the choice is up to the user. We cannot blame Opportunity, although we can heed it.

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago from Southern Clime

      If the telephone can be blamed for secret flings, if a car can be blamed for a drive down memory lane, if a restaurant can be blamed for a dinner date with an ex, if, if, if! Do we blame the knife/scalpel if the surgeon makes a mistake during an operation? Do we blame the restaurant owner because we are allergic to tomatoes? Do we blame the bank because someone did not make a mistake and put too much money into our accounts?

      We live in a world where blame seems to be a cheap way out of blame that rightfully belongs to the perpetrator. When computers and cell phones start dragging us by the necks and forcing us to turn them on and contact the wrong persons, then, and only then, can we slap lawsuits on those electronic suckers! Until then, offenders must own their own mess. Another thought--if we can blame these sites (Facebook, MySpace, or other) we should not say anything to our partners who "are not to blame," right? Right!!!!!!!!!

    • Jynzly profile image

      Jenny Pugh 5 years ago from Marion, Indiana, USA

      I hate these social sites they are clearly the channel for cheaters. It may not be everybody there is cheating but for cheaters at heart, facebook and the rest of the social sites are perfect for them. Facebook and the rest of the likes are the cause of my constant argument and quarrel with my husband; these sites really ruin marriage and serious relationships.

    • NiaLee profile image

      NiaLee 6 years ago from BIG APPLE

      I definitely think that social networks, telephone and specially cell phones have facilitated the cheating of many people. The ability to reach without our family knowing has made it easier for people to slide and cheat. Now, some people who cheat anyway, some wouldn't, some still don't!

      The cheating often comes from the fantasy, the tiredness of the routine and responsibilities that commitment require.

      I don't recommend Facebook for children, young adult, even adults who don't know how to handle things. This is an open place where everybody can have access to personal information and more. People live in this fantasy where they have friends, lovers and more...that sometimes don't even care for them, hate them. I really don't trust all those giant networks that allow the world a window into people's we are free to remember that they are not necessary... I even let go of my cell phone...except for my kids and school.

    • stacies29 profile image

      stacies29 6 years ago from Washington DC


    • profile image

      Sta 6 years ago

      I looked through my computer's history and found out that my longterm live in boyfriend has been checking out tons of pics of my gorgeous friends on fb. He also added the only one he has met twice. Should i be furious?

    • stacies29 profile image

      stacies29 7 years ago from Washington DC

      Thanks Pete I hope that guy gets help

    • Pete Sardino profile image

      Pete Sardino 7 years ago from Off Piste

      With perspective I can see where it's good, like if you let the soup simmer a while then you can tell what flavor it is. I mean it makes it easier and tempting to the cheater, but also flushes them out of the bushes. One guy I know does it all day long with 3 phones and different emails plus the social sites,plus hours on yahoo pool or a poker site etc, and his whole aim is usually to fill the actual girlfriend's work night up, with someone else--once. And then another somebody else. Then has nerve to badmouth them later, because he's actually picky, too!

    • stacies29 profile image

      stacies29 7 years ago from Washington DC

      Thanx Nell, I strongly agree with u :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 7 years ago from England

      Hi, I do see your point, I think with any site people can get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone they haven't seen for a long time, I believe that these people are the ones who would cheat anyway! lol it's just another way of finding someone to cheat with, there's the other point of course that when someone sees somebody on facebook etc it is easier to talk to them, maybe by meeting up it doesn't work out, who knows? thanks nell