- Gender and Relationships
Does He Like Me? and Other Questions to Stop Asking the Internet and Start Asking Yourself
Each and everyday, women perform Internet searches on some of the most menial questions. Ones they could easily answer themselves if they figured out that women have one (many) thing(s) over men--we've got all the answers already! Yes sir, hidden in our bag of tricks is probably the coolest thing your mom ever gave you, and her mom before that and so on. Can you guess what it is?
Yes, that's right. The answer is: Women's intution. It's what makes us so thoughtful, so emotional, so insightful, so courageous, so downright silly in love. Intuitively, women know that love is all you need.
Now, if you men would just get on board and stop all the foolishness, we could stop listening to you and start listening to our inner woman. Please read on to find the top 5 questions we ask others instead of asking ourselves.
The Insecure Version
Does he like me?
Men are very simple creatures--yes, I know it doesn't seem that way, but it's true. We're the ones that make it more complicated. If he pays you any attention to you at all, then the answer is yes. Does he call you? Then yes. If you're in a group of people, does he come nearest to you? Does he flirt with you? Then yes
The better question is, does he want to get serious with me?
A man can "like you like that" all day, but unless he wants to get serious with you, he's not worth your time! So stop asking this question, please? Besides, it's so sixth grade!
I ask myself this question:
Am I attractive?
Are you attractive to you? Do you find yourself worthy of affection? Do you feel self worth when you look in the mirror? Can you look in the mirror and look past your flesh and see inside of you?
If all you see is an insecure person, then that is what is reflected from the inside. You need to change the inside and you will see an immediate change on the surface. Once you learn to love who you are, what you're doing, where you're going, you will see just how very attractive you are. Beautiful even!
Sometimes it takes a little lip service at first--repeating to yourself over and over, 'I love who I am'. Maybe you don't mean it for the first week or month, but eventually, you will mean it. Hell, you have to live with you for the rest of your life, let the insecurities stop now.
Calling your bluff!
Is he cheating on me?
If you even have to ask! Most guys are capable of doing it. They just have a different perspective on sex than we women do. Men have a way of separating sex from emotion, unlike anything we will ever be able to do. And when he comes back to you, he can completely forget about the slore he was just with and pretend she never existed.
Don't be naïve. He will lie to you if it means losing you. But women's intuition speaks volumes over lies. Listen to yourself--and stop asking Jeeves or Yahoo! or whomever you young people ask your questions to nowadays!
Should I have sex with him?
This one can be tough. On the one hand, It's a pleasurable act between two consenting adults. On the other, it's a pleasurable act that women take infinitely more serious than men.
If he is a womanizer, don't think that you will change him. You won't. And if he is charming the pants off of you, hold onto them for dear life!
Long story short, go back inside yourself. Does this person make you feel something real? (And I don't mean those lustful flames that reside somewhere near those crazy butterflies. Get to know the difference, even though they live on the same block.) If dude begs and begs and begs and begs for it, and you just want to give it up so he'll shut up, then say no.
But if he actually cares about your mind, your spirit, your family, your future--then yea! Why not?
Should I dump him?
Again--if you even have to ask! If he hits on your friends, if he flirts with your mom, if he spends every waking moment on MW3, if his resume is blank, if he doesn't know what a cover letter is, if he doesn't know how to wash his own underwear, if he has hygiene issues, if he calls you fat or stupid or ugly or any combination therein…
Let it go. You can be happier alone than with an a*hole. And don't give me any of that loneliness crap. No one likes to feel lonely, but I swear on a stack that that feeling passes. Take another lesson from the Marrissa handbook--if things with him were that deep, then you may need to repeat to yourself, "I don't need you to validate me. I don't need you to validate me." Keep it up. There you go...
Did I miss anything?
What other questions do you ask the world instead of searching within?
This is for men too!