ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Dating & Online Dating

Internet Dating: A Tool For Dating: A One Night Stand or A Way to Find Your Soul Mate?

Updated on November 18, 2014

You Can Get Lucky or Wise on How to Use These Sites!

An Overview of Internet Dating

There are probably thousands of Internet dating websites. The actual number is hard to pin down as these are relatively easy to set-up, but the good sites where people are using them as a tool to find love are easy to find by a simple Google search. There are the ones that match personalities through a very rigious personality testing questionaires like "eHarmony.com." Then there are Christian dating websites, ones that have spent a lot on marketing like "Plenty of Fish." There are a list of the top 5, top 10, and top 25 ranking high on Google search. But my real experience was positive, but only because of goals that I set very early in my search for my true love. Others have used the sites, and I can see where your heart is not only on the line, but your life.

The Pro's of Internet Dating

Back a hundred and fifty years ago, men and women would put personal ads for a wife or husband in the newspapers. The family of the single person would know of someone in their community through various circumstances, who knew someone of a great family with great character and money, where the couples would be introduced by a letter. In a new-fangled way, Internet dating can be that kind of an experience. If the goal is to truly find someone better than your local area, a chance meeting at a bar, or a chance meeting at a church function, You do get the benefit of knowing more about a person through Internet dating than you would on a typical blind date. The positive aspects of this kind of "fishing" for love are going to be discussed. So what are the positives? First, if you are truly honest and smart in what you want, you are honest in your photos, and the other person is honest once someone has found interest in them to either, use the site to email each other with the identity of the person still private, leads to a more open experience than one can imagine. If you are truly honest, and the other person is completely honest, then you can find that the computer provides a way to get to know someone much quicker than ordinary dating. On a date, you meet each other, you exchange superficial information, you use boby language to communicate sexual interest and also compatibility. However, a date normally involves eating, going to a movie, going to a nightclub or dance, and not much talking to get to know a person is actually achieved. When Internet dating, you can say what you are looking for in your profile. You can honestly describe your positive traits. You can paint a picture of the best you. You can post pictures that are not photoshopped, list your characteristics that are truly part of your personality, and mention what the top qualities you are wanting in the love of your life. When a person honestly puts out there, what is most important to them in finding true love, the system can work. If the photos are not photoshopped or five to ten years old, and you are completely candid about your top priorities, you might find someone like you there. My profile was one a church-affiliated website, where members, who were divorced, and who wanted the same spiritual beliefs could be the basis for the relationship. Being that I was in an area of the country where there were not that many suitable people my age to date, I found that Internet dating would be the only way I could find someone of my faith. Since this was my first priority, I decided to post my profile on a site.

Share Your True Self to Find Someone Compatiple!

"Honesty, Is Such a Lonely Word"

The Con's: The Lack of Honesty

I found that most people were not truly interested in telling the true about themselves. So some people can get terribly dishonest about themselves. They are either or so lonely or simply liars. Yet some, especially on a church-related website, were not members of my faith. They would describe themselves as being single, when they were going through a very emotional, nasty divorce, and needed the kindness of the oposite sex to make them feel better. Even though the site said you had to be divorced, Normally, these people admitted their lie fairly early. Then some were members, but had not gone to church since they were young. The sad truth is that even some married people were looking for a better woman without even being in a legal action to start a divorce. They just heard the site had good, righteous, loyal women, and as men, were checking it out to see if these women actually existed, only briefly thinking that they met none of the requirements of the site. I was astonished at the insecurity, attempts to deceive, the fair of rejection, and a host of many oother issues that were on both sides of each sex. The women put up pictures that were basically nothing what they looked like. The men would do the same. The men would say they wanted someone who was loyal and would not cheat on them, but they were still married. The women would say that men were terrible to them because they weren't as pretty as they used to be so they put up false advertisements of themselves before children. After my husband and I met, we compared the horror stories of the desparate souls that wanted something better, but were actually causing the site to be filled with insecure, unhappy, unfulfilled, people unwilling to see their on insecurities were making it harder to see the great people that might be on the site, but for the weeds, they were just a photo among photos making the honest people question the integrity of everyone. Then there were the ones just wanting to explore getting sex without any kind of commitment or future. "Honesty" definitely became the word that I wanted more than anything.

Perverts!

The Perverts!

I found a lot of men who wanted to talk about sex before they knew that I was really wanting to talk about that! My husband said that many women did the same with him! This was a forum for Christian people, and typically, you don't talk about sex, or your body parts without getting to a very intimate point in the relationship. Since most of the men where thousands of miles away from me, they may have thought bragging about their body parts would impress me. Well, sadly, it did the opposite. I found their references to sex or sex-related topics improper for at least a period of time where I could get to know them. Our society has changed, and people sleep with people way before they know the person. Then they assume since the sex was good, that the person would work out. This is a sad story in our free lives. I find that sex can be the icing on the cake, but the cake better be something I really like before I taste the icing. So all of these men were completely cut off from emails or texts if they mentioned anything about sex before we knew each other. I wanted sex to be great with my true love, but how can having sex or talking about sex actually make one person know who that person is? My answer is say no to sex, until you know the person. Once you have established who this person is I still say that sex is not your first quality. Your first quality should be, "Are we compatible?"

Amy and Her Hilarious Ted Talk Video on Internet Dating!

How Many Have You Tried Internet Dating?

Have you Internet dated and had good results?

See results

So Why My Success?

Honestly, I cut out everything on my profile as I was only getting creeps or perverts. The only one gentleman on the site was based on his honesty and mine. We were compatible in everyway, and we found that our prayers, from the very beginning, was the strong-faith based need I had. I wanted someone who had been married twice, like me. I wanted someone who had spirituality-based life. I wanted someone who worked hard, but not necessary had money as I could make my own. He had to be trustworthy, attractive to me, and a gentleman. I got lucky. I also simply feel that you can date this way, but you cut out the lies right away. If you find a dishonest person, you just stop any contact. I also say that you need to find someone where you list of qualities are the same as yours. I cannot say whether you should or should not online date, but the likelyhood that you are going to find your true love is luck or in my faith, spirituality. So live your life with chance, see if you want to find a site that matches your personality, spirituality, and characteristics that you want. I cannot be happier, but I think I was very strong in rejecting the ones that didn't matched me...right away. Listen to Amy's video, she is really quite like me. Good luck if you try it! Make sure you check these people out before you give a number, email address, or your be less safe as you do not know if the person is real and safe to date. i also think keeping your distance actually gives you more time to find out if you are compatible. Never go on a first date without people around. As a woman, meet at a public place for a cup of hot herbal tea, or coffee, if you like either. Then you can walk away without being harmed. Before you meet anyone, you should have a great deal of knowledge about them so you can know they are were meeting. Your time is valuable and never feel desparate. Finding your true love is the most important thing in your life. You should not be casual or hope it works out. Dating is testing. Don't marry to test a relationship. Test it through dating.

What Makes a Happy Couple In General?

My Wedding Temple!

Summary

As a religious person, I finally found someone who believed the same things I did. I didn't have to convert anyone, beg they believe like me, or hope they would share the same views as I did. So I would say my first quality was : 1, Being a Christian as a Latter-Day Saint. 2. He was married twice like me as I didn't want to be judged for my mistakes. 3. He needed to be attractive to me physically, emotionally, and compassionately. So make your list, and see if there is a site that matches you. Make sure you are honest, and that they are honest. But do sell yourself as the potential great partner you can be without lying! Good luck to all the lonely people looking for their better half. Don't take it too serious until you know the other person is serious about you!

Never Give Up the Right for a Happy Partner!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Lezley profile image
      Author

      Leslee Harding 2 years ago from Orem, UT

      Thanks for both comments! I do agree with dashing scorpio as a "tool" to use for dating. It may just be that, and not your main focus. I really appreciate SassySusan for her comments as well. Thanks for reading, and I hope to read your blogs as well. Thanks for the comments and encouragement.

    • SassySarah profile image

      Sarah Dyczewski 2 years ago from Pittsburgh

      Thank you for such an honest look into your experiences and meeting your husband! I agree with a lot of what you said, about how so many people misrepresent themselves but that by being honest about who you are, what you're really looking for and not taking it seriously until the other person is serious about you. Great advice and article!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Online dating is just a "tool" or another option for meeting people. The same folks online can be found in grocery stores, shopping malls, beaches, movie theatres, nightclubs, and even churches.

      The Internet did not invent liars and cheaters. In fact it's very common for people to "put their best foot forward" or bend over backwards to "impress" someone in order to "win them over". It takes time to see a person's "authentic self" regardless of how you meet.

      As I stated online dating is just a "tool" much like a "fork". The only difference is an obese person never blames their fork for their weight gain!

      And yet people will blame the online dating industry for the people (they) chose to engage with! We choose who we say "yes" to.

      Truth be told most of us fail our way to success when it comes love and relationships. If this were not so we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      You stated; "I finally found someone who believed the same things I did."

      That's the goal whether a you're online or offline! The vast majority of people you meet (are not) going to be "the one" regardless of what dating avenues a person uses.

      Ultimately if you met your spouse online then it (worked) for you! Maybe you would have never met any other way. Congratulations!