- Gender and Relationships»
Does Valentine's Day Really Matter that Much?
So this Sunday is February 14 aka Valentine's Day, officially the most romantic day of the year. It's supposed to be the day to show someone how much you admire and love them. You display your feelings through buying your loved one flowers, candy, cards, jewelry, and teddy bears. If you're in a relationship, it is a truly romantic day and night when you're both supposed to be open about your feelings toward one another. If you're single, you either don't care at all about Valentine's Day and ignore it, or you do something on the opposite end of the spectrum that's anti-romantic and watch some horror movies with other single friends. Whichever situation you're in, you know that Valentine's Day is going to affect your life at least in some way that day, whether causing you to be annoyed at all the happy couples everywhere or being grateful that you have someone in your life who appreciates and loves you.
Having one special day a year when you feel really loved by your partner is great, but what about the other 364 or in this leap year, 365 days? Do you just reserve all your love and attention for that one day and every other day is anything goes? I certainly hope not, although that is the case for many couples. I personally think it's sweet to get flowers and candy on Valentine's Day. I'm not a huge fan of flowers to begin with, but once a year it's kind of adorable. I have more of a sweet tooth so candy is a much better gift for me. Or teddy bears. A girl can never have too many teddy bears and they actually last unlike flowers or candy. It's kind of expected though. If you're in a relationship, you know that you're going to at least get a card or some kind of recognition on Valentine's Day. This kind of makes it less special because you know it's coming. Every girl knows it's coming. So there is no sense of surprise. Even if every other day of the year is unromantic or less than special, you know that at least one day is going to be better and that day is Valentine's Day.
You know what's really special and sweet? Flowers just because. Candy just because on some random day of the year that no one else celebrates. A card on some day in the beginning of March from that special someone just because they want to show how much they love and appreciate you. You don't see that coming and it's special and sweet and you don't have to share it with anyone else in the world because it's only for the two of you.
Many couples are great at making the effort to stay romantic on other days besides Valentine's Day...at least in the beginning. They understand that it takes more than just one day a year to make a woman feel special. Sustaining a romantic relationship requires effort every day. I'm not saying getting flowers or candy everyday, that would be too excessive and wasteful. I'm talking about doing things that make a woman or man feel special and loved in small but significant ways. A romantic candlelit dinner of their favorite meal on a Thursday night that you cooked yourself? That's really special and romantic. Saying someone looks good on a busy morning that makes their whole day go in the right direction? Super sweet and thoughtful. Taking them to a concert or movie you know they really want to see? Plain adorable. Helping them out around the house if you're living together so they have more free time to spend with you? Definitely romantic and they're probably a keeper! It's all about the little things that matter the most in this life.
I think men are a little afraid of messing up on Valentine's Day because there's so much expectation put on them. What if the flower bouquet isn't big enough? What if the candy isn't enough because it's jewelry that the woman really wanted? What if you he picks the wrong restaurant and the whole night is messed up? That's too much expectation to put on one man! Especially if he does something big one year and then every year after that it's going to be a disappointment because it's never quite that special again. That's why I don't think it's a good idea to propose on Valentine's Day. You know you're never going to top that again so every year after that it's going to be a smaller, less extravagant experience. I think proposing marriage is best done on a random day that's going to become one of the best days in the world for you two only. Proposals on Valentine's Day are kind of a cliche because think of the millions of other people who are doing it then, and all the others celebrating that day already. You're sharing it with most of the world and that kind of makes it less special. Knowing it's your special day and yours only is what makes it perfect. An ordinary day made extraordinary by a special person is what love is supposed to be all about.
As for me personally, I have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. I don't love or hate it, but rather feel kind of neutral about it. From experience, I know it's not about the flowers or candy that you're going to get but rather about the person that you're with. Getting the biggest flower bouquets and diamonds from the wrong person really doesn't mean a whole lot if you know that person isn't right for you. Getting a single red rose from the right person means more than all the flowers and jewelry in the world. When it comes down to it, I'd rather be respected and treated good every day of the year rather than just on Valentine's Day when it's supposed to happen. It means a lot more when you know the person you're with is consistent in how they treat you everyday of your life that you're with them. No amount of flowers or cards is going to make up for bad treatment or neglect. It's all about making an effort everyday you're together and trying to make someone's life better through actions rather than just empty words or gifts.
While Valentine's Day may be very popular and commercially beneficial for flower, card, and jewelry companies, to me it just isn't that special. It's kind of like a good song that you hear one too many times and it just loses its appeal for you. It's no longer special but rather kind of annoying and you just want it to stop so you can hear something new and better. I think as women we expect to be recognized on Valentine's Day and that's totally fine. I'm not saying ignore your loved one on the one day a year they expect to be adored. I'm just saying make sure those flowers you're getting on Valentine's Day aren't the only time you make her feel special. I'm saying be romantic when she's not expecting it to happen. That's how you're going to win her heart. Flowers once a year don't mean much if you're fighting every other day. Make an effort to treat each other better everyday so you feel loved all the time and not just the one day when it's supposed to happen. When you look back on your life together, you won't remember the one day when you got flowers or candy, rather you're going to remember all the regular days that were supposed to be plain and ordinary but became special because they cared enough to make you feel like the most important person in the world. Now that's my idea of romance..
When You Love Someone by Bryan Adams
Do you like Valentine's Day?
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