- Gender and Relationships
Do guys always give misleading signals?
Sometimes, I really wonder do guys always give misleading signals? Erm.. I don't really say misleading signals as flirting. It is different. Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature. This is not surprising: if we did not initiate eye contact or express any interest in members of the opposite sex, reproduction will not take place and the human species would become extinct. When saying misleading signals, means that guys tends to do the 'wrong actions' toward girls and let the other party misunderstand that he likes her. Often we are the ones being said we are thinking too much.
Signs of flirting
In a lot of cases, when a guy is flirting, I think it is pretty straight forward. Like the blog I had read: "Signs of flirting."
- He stares at you a lot.
- He hits you a lot. (just play hitting )
- He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you
- He yelled, "Hi!", to your mom that day she picked you up from school.
- He blew off his buds to go see "Run Away Bride" with you cause you couldn't get another girl to go and didn't want to go alone
- He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process
- His voice gets softer ("Hey, you") when ever you two talk
- You hung up on him. He called you back
- You where invited by him to a group outing
- He called you to talk about nothing at all
- He imitates your laugh. OK, you do snort sometimes. Which makes you laugh even harder
- He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation
- He sometimes stares straight into your eyes
- He every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, ass, thighs, etc.)
Do you consider this action misleading?
But when I mean by saying 'misleading signals', I mean their actions lead us to think otherwise. A very good example: there is this Mr nice guy in the office. He is always nice to every lady in his office. The way he speaks, the way he looks at the ladies, what can I say. He is an absolute gentleman. Even when having lunch with his female colleague, simple gesture like choose food for her and offers to carry her handbag. Hey! If that Mr nice is not interested in his colleague, obviously that's a wrong signal. And it's very wrong, It will just mislead that lady to think he is interested in her but the fact is not! He is just a gentleman, Mr Nice Guy!
There is nothing wrong when a guy is nice. In this twentieth century, obviously being a gentleman is a plus factor especially when he is with who he likes. What if there isn't any chemistry at all, they are just plain friends. Should there is be a limit in being 'nice'? Usually, girls based on their instinct. When guys overdo, it will lead them to wonder, "does he like me?" There few actions which I really feel that it can be really misleading..
So guys, do take note:
- When you going out with a group of girls, please if you want to be a gentleman. Pay attention to all the girls in the group. Don't offer to carry one girl's bag but all. At least, we will that you are a gentleman, not fancy on one.
- Talk the same tone to every girl in the office. This is very important that the way you speak, it will give wrong impression of you like her when is not.
- Never send any misleading flirting messages to the girls. When messages like: I am all alone in the night. You are just like a star in the night. No matter how lonely I am, I know you are always by my side. If you don't mean it, don't send.
- The language of touch. A light touch on a girl's face, hand, etc is a kind of misleading signal.
- Humour is an essential element of flirtation but if you misuse it, it becomes misleading. Playful teasing allows the girl to increase the 'personal' content of the exchange and misunderstand that you like her.
- Never give those affectionate eye contact.
- No misleading words like "I love you", "I miss you", "Don't let me worry about you"...
- Never ask a girl out. If there is need to, tell her the reason so that she will not misunderstand.
- Always keep a distant posture between you and the girl. This is known as 'non-verbal leakage': sometimes your unintentional feelings 'leak out' in your posture may lead to misunderstanding. Leaning forward, and an 'open' posture are actually signs of attentiveness and interest or liking.
- Never, never be too nice
Girls, please wake up
Of course, the lists can just goes on and on. I really feel that guys should take note by not giving any misleading signals cause in the end, he might just says "I'm just being nice" leaving us to wonder, "Does he like me?" or "I think he likes me. He's just not ready to confess."
In the end,"Hellooo! Girl, wake up! He is just not that into you!"
© 2008 plentyoftots