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Are you Dating a Narcissist?

Updated on March 16, 2017
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Narcissistic Behaviors in Relationships

The way narcissist behave in relationships have a lot to do with their need for admiration, and desire to have their ego stroked. One of the common traits of a narcissist is their complete inability to handle criticism. They often will seek out abuse type relationships; a person that is willing to put up with their abuse, and has a lack of boundaries.

The other person may have some need that is being fulfilled as well. The narcissist loves the fact that people are chasing after them and waiting on them hand and foot. The narcissist definition of a relationship may be quite different from that of “normal” people. Not only will they respond with aggression during conflict but also through many stages of boundary testing. Some of this testing includes the silent treatment.

The reason they get away with negative behavior is they intentionally gravitate towards partners with low standards. They will also exhibit other behavior after the conflict such as detachment and showing less commitment. These are all forms of punishment and self-protecting that narcissist use to gain power and superiority over their partners in relationships.

Source

Narcissist Personality Style

A person who is a narcissist has an over inflated sense of self, and a deep need for admiration, so they thrive off using others for their own personal gain. They have an unwarranted sense of entitlement, and their opinion of their abilities and skills may be somewhat overstated. They have no culpability for their actions and can be envious of others. They lack empathy, are insensitive to others and show defensiveness and aggression at the slightest hint of criticism. Narcissists have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships because they swing wildly between grandiosity and vulnerability, making them an extremely unstable personality type.



Narcissism: Subtle Yet Extreme

The video below highlights the personality disorder and really brings to light narcissism in its most subtle yet extreme form. When people are so smart that they are almost genius, they slip through the cracks because they are used to being honored regarding their intellectual accolades. However, their social skills can often leave much to be desired. Be careful not to confuse this with Asperger’s.

What Narcissism Looks Like

Source

Reference

In Defense of Self-Love: An Observational Study on Narcissists' Negative Behavior During Romantic Relationship Conflict. doi:10.1080/15298868.2013.868368

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    • Social Minds profile image
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      Donna S 3 years ago from Southern California

      You are so right, ologsinquiot! Many people are confused by this. I found your Hub to be quite interesting on the topic as well. Thanks so much for sharing and the support.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      It is very important to get this information out there, so people can recognize the symptoms of a serious personality disorder while they are dating someone, and then make some firm decisions to go no contact.

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 3 years ago

      My husband was diagnosed as an adult with borderline Aspergers and I can see how the two could be confused especially if you are just getting to know someone. I know you plan on fleshing this out and would love to see some of the differences detailed. I don't believe that I have ever had a romantic relationship with a Narcissist but it seems it would be hard going. Is this something that can be made to work or is it simply toxic?

    • Social Minds profile image
      Author

      Donna S 3 years ago from Southern California

      Oh Hey misterhollywood! Thanks for the follow! I'm glad you enjoyed the read.

    • misterhollywood profile image

      John Hollywood 3 years ago from Hollywood, CA

      Very informative hub! Narcissists can be hard to detect for sure. This information helps!!

    • Social Minds profile image
      Author

      Donna S 3 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you and yes I will eventually 'flesh this out' a little more and provide some meat for you Jeff! Yes I have experience although, he probably wasn't a true narcissist and leaned more towards Aspergers. But mainly I have interest as a student of Social Psychology.

    • profile image

      Jeff cushman 3 years ago

      I enjoyed this piece, although I am looking for a little more meat, if you know what I mean. If this was an interest for you, I would personally assume that you have either had a relationship with someone who has this nature, or have known someone who has had this expirience. Tell me more, I would like to hear it. :)

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