Abusers of Women - Who Said You Should Wake up With Dread? Take Advantage of the Resources. Don't Let Them Escape!
"Abuse" of Women Is a Calamity, Along with Being Criminal. Marie Antoinette Gets the Statue?
Curious Answers and Yes, Fake
Solace is a joke. -
"How are those bruises coming along?"
Patience is more time.-
"I know six months from now we are both going to be better."
Forgiveness is for Reinventing Himself -
"I am drying out. Changing my diet. Stopped "honkey tonkin".
Transformation is to be faked -- an artiface that the Abuser opens up each manipulation with --
"I know I am changed, honey.!"
A Plague to Confront
A Strange Image of Defeat
American culture is strewn with tragic examples of domestic violence killing, crippling, wounding and simply ruining family life and romantic relationships. There is no "one time" answer, response, creative seminar, or yes, even a systematic torture that is a curative or healing for domestic abuse. There are however institutional responses, legal and criminal and governmental tools set to bring answers. But the abused victim must learn to act.
It is against everything that is in us to admit this. It is against everything in the female way to think that a solution can not be found. It is against our humanity to think that perhaps we could be just even, a little bit at fault. It is against our therapeutic systems to admit this. It is against positive self-directed societal forces to ponder the "uncorrectable", the ruinous and the murderous, who are sitting next to us at work, at the diner, at the bar, at church, at the golf club. Those who are labeled "Domestic Abusers" float atop this world of good will and hopefulness and self-recrimination and self-blame. They cover their dark pernicious ways at the societal systems that work for solutions..
They are the Plague, and the bug that jumps from creature to creature has not been isolated. So, we simply say: "We have a Plague". And so, the women who live with the Plague, somehow get the Plague. And when they become victims, they must go for one answer.
GET AWAY. GET AWAY. GET AWAY. GET AWAY.
Because an Adult Woman Is Involved in the Dynamic - The Evil Dance
This Evil Dance that the Woman does not want to dance compels the woman to think that if she just learned how to perfectly dance the Evil Dance, that she might not be harmed, that he would be content; that she could invoke some power over him. She does not understand that the Evil Dance is for torture, for prolongation, for respites of love and violent sex. The Evil Dance is made to complicate and muddle the picture. The Evil Dance (the Circle of violence, repentance, forgiveness, hiatus, the increasing tension to violence again) plays into all of the culture's and individual's weaknesses. People believe in the Evil Dance because it is a distortion of a real human process, a bastardization of the human circle of love, apologies, admittance of fault, confession, forgiveness.
Forget What Women Are "Supposed To Be"
Women grow up to learn that there are rules that are used. Both men and women learn about the rules of getting along. Forget your "nurturing nature". Your "nurturing nature" is being used against you. "Make up sex" - a kind of useful practice in a healthy relationship, becomes CYANIDE for you, when he is involved. It is not only what makes you feminine, but what makes you human. You will be tricked and lied to from every angle. Until you get as cold and determined to figure out a way out of your life, as fast as you can, you will be PREY.
Domestic Abusers learn to laugh at statements of repair and reconciliation: "I'm sorry. I lost my head." They learn to stretch mercy to unholy lengths because again, they are laughing at the human desire to "make things better". They cynically and rapaciously tinker and toy with each and every potential moment for healing and wholeness. They are masters at preying on all of the human emotions that the rest of us treat with respect and reverence.
One of the Worst Unworkable Solutions -
Thinking that God is powerful enough to change him. Is God powerful enough? Sure. But your staying around to observe the change is not a part of the solution. Do not put your Faith on the line by saying: My belief is so strong, I will hang around and observe God's work in his life. IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO THAT, DO IT FROM AFAR - ANONYMOUSLY.
The Will To Use New Resources
If you are a victim, just stop and tell yourself. I have one of the most stubborn diseases that mankind knows, and yet, unlike Cancer or Hemorrhagic Fever or Lou Gehrig's Disease, you have a solution that you can act on. There are plenty of resources. Start with friends, church, relatives. Talk to someone who says they care. If you are willing, there is a world there that will take your hand.
Domestic Abuse -
Head for a New Life
Once you have the Domestic Abuse Plague - Carriers and Victim.
You (supposedly) become a part of the problem. Hold it. How can you be a part of the problem? All you did is get together with a guy who started hitting you?
TRUE. But now, even though it is not your fault and all you are is a ball being batted, you now are a Victim. He is the Carrier. He will not die from hitting you. That is why this is absolutely terrifying, This is dangerous for the Victim.