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Domestic Violence

Updated on May 27, 2008

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence affects millions of families world wide, rarely a day passes without reading of a violent attack in the newspapers or hearing on television or radio about domestic violence incident that went too far and the victim has been killed.

Statistics of domestic violence vary widely from state to state, country to country but they can never tell the whole story, they can only point to the cases that have been reported to the authorities and can only estimate at the number of cases that have not been reported.

Most of the statistics gathered relate to Women being physically abused by men and mention many factors in the reasons for the violence including alcoholism, drug abuse, stress, jealousy and in some cases violence is used as a form of control over the victim.

There are some but very few statistics gathered for Domestic Violence where the woman is the abuser of the man, but it is believed to be a problem that is as widespread as Male abuse on women, in the statistics that have been gathered the same reasons are mostly used.

Victims of Domestic Violence

Victims of domestic violence often blame themselves for being hit, it was something that they did or didn't do that let to the attack, they try to cover up cuts and bruises with make-up or clothing and if the marks are noticed by another person they create a cover story to hide the truth." I walked into a door" or " I tripped on the stairs" being the most popular.

Domestic violence often takes place over a long period of time before the victim decides to take action against the abuser, sometimes months and some times years go past before the victim reports the abuse to the authorities.

Female sufferers of spousal attacks are more likely to report an abuser than male victims because of male pride it is embarrasing that a woman is violent towards you and you don't want to look like less of a man in front of their friends.

Most victims of domestic violence stay with their abusers because they love them, in over 70% of all reported cases love was the top reason for living with violence only 10% stayed because they feared what their abusers would do to them or their children if they tried to leave.

Children are often the forgotten victims of domestic violence, often the spousal abuser will become violent towards their children.

Help is out There

No matter your situation help is out there for you, there are people who have been through similar situations and they are only a phone call away, they are ready to help you to listen and to offer advice.

The website lists below will give you details of help available near you

National Domestic Violence Hotline (USA)

Domestic Violence Resource Centre (AUSTRALIA)

Women's Aid - Homepage (UK)

domestic violence information(CANADA)

alcoholics anonymous (world wide)

Narcotics Anonymous


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    • profile image

      susie 6 years ago

      glad to see a page on this im sick of being stressed out trying to get a divorce scottish law sucks 11 year seperated 7 trying to get a divorce hes still controlling me im sick of nightmares of him cutting my throat and shooting me all the stress is unbearable,the laws don't help you to be free,im sick paying a lawyer who cant even send mail to right adress i only get them id postie asks my mum if the letters are for me

    • profile image

      cyril cyril 8 years ago

      I'm a sixteen year old girl and I am avictim of domestic violence.It all started when my parents divorced.I was seven.Dad moved away and got himself married while mom took it out on me.At first I thought it would end once she got over the divorce but hasn't.On my tenth birthday she beat me up so bad I couldn't walk for days.Of course it was my fault.And she appologised.

      Dad doesn't care.He says I mus'nt provoke her.But it's not my fault.I know it isn't.I can't report her coz I love her so much.I just want her to get better.

    • profile image

      justinr1005 9 years ago

      If you really want to see what domestic violence can lead to, read Domestic Violence: The Forgotten Victims, but Monica Marie Singleton Soileau. That book will open your eyes. Its not a long read, but you won't forget it.

    • michaelk profile image

      michaelk 9 years ago

      I'm sorry to hear about your personal experience with domestic violence. But, thank you for putting up a hub on this subject. I will be linking to it from my most recent hub.

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 9 years ago from Scotland

      The issue of domestic violence is very close to my heart, a close family friend died as a result of a domestic attack by her drunk boyfriend, her 2 children are now seperated the little girl living with her father in the USA and the little boy lives in Scotland with his grandparents.

      Thankyou all so much for your comments and I pray that reading about domestic violence is as close as you will ever get to the experience.....jimmy

    • 2patricias profile image

      2patricias 9 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      Thanks for a thought provoking Hub. I used to know someone who was a victim of domestic violence. She thought that if she loved her guy enough, he would reform. Tragic.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      Jimmy, I like the image you use showing how children witness domestic violence. I grew up in a household of domestic violence - and, it was awful. People used to say I would be at risk to enter the same kind of relationship with an abuser, but I never did. However, as an adult, I have struggled with consuming anger and I think it comes from how my life was when I was a child. Luckily, I recognized this anger as a problem, and have worked towards finding solutions and tools to let it go. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen with everyone. Too many children witness this kind of violence and manipulation, growing up to become vicitms or abusers themselves.

    • danielpyle profile image

      danielpyle 9 years ago from USA

      After being threatened with a knife and punched repeatedly in the jaw. I had to do the hardest and most embarrasing thing in my life. I had to report my ex to the police. It is hard to tell another man that the woman you love just beat you up.

      The power is there...God bless those who struggle...Life is too short

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 9 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Knowing how it feels to be at the receiving end I'm of a mind that all abuse has to be stopped. It is beyond me of why one can harm another that on 'normal' days they professe to love...

      amazing hub Jimmy, two thumbs up

      regards Zsuzsy

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 9 years ago from North America

      I know an ex-pro football player that was abused by his first wife. It was H#ll and much worse!

      Thanks for posting this Hub - we need to repeat this type of info over and over, until everyone "gets" it.

      Be blessed, jimmy.

    • In The Doghouse profile image

      In The Doghouse 9 years ago from California

      Great Hub! Have linked it to my Hub on spousal abuse. This is definitely an issue that must be addressed. Thanks.

    • dutch84 profile image

      dutch84 9 years ago

      Wow! Women beat up the men in Ireland? I need to move there!

      Just kidding...

      Great article!

    • jacobworld profile image

      Jakub Wawrzyniak 9 years ago from Ireland

      Hi mate

      I have to say its a huge problems in Ireland . Surprisingly men are abused