I Love Us
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Reminiscing our wonderful:
It's about that time. Love month is coming up, and my soul mate will soon celebrate another birthday milestone. I thought this hub was worth re-writing, and i want to dedicate this to the man who fortified my belief in the reality of unconditional love, tenderly demonstrated daily in my life.
There is no such thing as being unlucky in love, just because you have not found that right relationship. It has nothing to do with luck, but finding that person you are willing to enter, what my husband calls 'the unknown'.
Love found us...
Well, without mentioning how many moons ago, i remember the day when i first met the man who would change my life forever. It was a terribly hot summer day. The idea of winding down with good company over a few drinks was irresistible. My girlfriend had asked me to join her and attend the opening of a regional office of a 'new kid on the block'. A real party animal, it was her naughty way of announcing there was an interesting new man on the scene. Among those invited were people we knew, to include a few society hotties who would not miss a beat to find eligible men. I obliged and thought, why not. Once in a while it's good to go to the zoo, chill and enjoy a little masquerade.
I was in the beauty business and to meet a pretty face or someone handsome was never a big deal. But, i must admit, that afternoon, something else would grab me. Our host, obviously a seasoned traveler, amazing photographs had caught my attention. I found myself drawn to his presentation and admiring images taken from his recent mountain expedition. I really thought, the man had depht and talent. Of course we were introduced, but we hardly spoke during the party. I couldn't tell that when we shook hands, he had done a quick 'click' imagery of me, like a photographer with an invisible camera. How he remembers, till this day whenever we reminisce, everything. He thought the sexiest thing about me that day were my toes exposed by my Grecian inspired open high heels. A fetish? I thought it should have been my perfect tan, a bronze i worked hard to get. Anyway, again, you never know what your Romeo may be looking for. Different strokes for different folks. I tell my friends, the person for you has already been born, and like you, is in wanderlust. Pray you meet!
Now, i can't say the same thing except to remember he was impeccably and appropriately dressed in a nice beige suit and that he had a nice voice. Only one guest knew something was possibly brewing, and that was because he was asked who i was, and if he happened to have my telephone number. Which is why i was surprised, when after a few days, he called to ask for a date. We later admitted to each other, that neither one of us was expecting any earth shaking event on that first date. I was twenty eight years old, divorced, and was not sure i still wanted to get into a serious relationship. I dated, but i always kept my guard up. So, there we were, two pros in the game of love, going through the motion of sizing each other up. Inside me i was thinking, "Ok, you look good, but what's in that brain?" C'mon, bore me. Well if the walls of that little French restaurant could talk! It was as Pedro Calderon dela Barca had described, "When love is not madness, it is not love" .It's hard to explain when love happens almost that instantaneously. You just know, and you know that you know. You waste no time. It is like that one piece in a puzzle. It just fits!
What love is and is not...
Love can be so amazing but it can also be a tricky thing. Our feelings get the better of us, and we expect far too much of it, like magic. How many times will we 'fall in love', only to find out it wasn't really love? It's hard to tell. It would be nice if all it took was one 'shot' at it, and voila! Eureka! "I've got it!, by God, I've got it!". Flawed as we are, we are in for a big disappointment when we think we wil find 'perfect' love. It's one thing to fall crazy in love, and drool like a fool (remember Tom Cruise over Katie Holmes ?), and totally lose it. I love the feeling of falling in love, and who doesn't? I thought i was in love, when i was sixteen years old, with one of my brothers friends who used to come over for band practice. I kept a diary and wrote mushy stuff, which i only imagined. It felt real, and for a while i thought i had found the man who would walk me down the isle. Well, i grew up, and last i saw him, i was shocked that he was a frog and not a prince!
Yes, it's great to feel our hearts flutter, float on cloud 9, and to know that we are the center of someones universe. But, for us who've 'been there, done that, we know feelings are fleeting, and unreliable. A silly fight can easily tip our equilibrium, to make us doubt each other. Which is when commitment steps in, and you call on wisdom to work things out. Love requires WORK. As wonderful as it is, there's no getting away from the process by which love is strengthened and stand the test of time. Because in order to make it for the long haul, it needs two determined people equipped with good building blocks, like respect, commitment, patience, understanding, sensitivity and selflessness.
Love is a partnership, between two people who choose to be one and united, to care for each at all cost. In many ways, it's a lot like making an investment, where each partner puts in 100% (not 50/50) and to keep the fire going. It requires time, creativity, thought, management, of your everyday. It's a lot about giving, sowing and reaping. "Give, and it will be given to you, press down, shaken together and running over". It's reciprocity, which only brings reward and great blessings.
When Forbes comes up with a list of the top most expensive celebrity weddings, and we find names like Brad Pitt and Jenifer Aniston, Tiger Woods and Erin Nordegren, Mariah Carey and Tommy Mottola, Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman, all divorced, we have to ask, what happened? Beauty, fame and fortune, it's like they had it all. They must have believed they were in love, enough to tie the knot and express it in such lavish fashion. What does this tell us? What i surmise from this, if anything is what love is and may not be. Money can't buy anybody love. Not popularity, and neither physical beauty. It's one thing to fall in love, and it's another thing to stay in love. You may feel love for someone, but you have to be IN LOVE with that someone. And to be IN LOVE means, to live and honor each other, forever and ever.
The song "Somewhere Down the Road" describes what happened to our love after being together for two and half years. After being separated for many years, we found each other again, and remarried. And this is just one of love's mysteries. We believe God brought us back, and saved the best for last.
"Somewhere Down the Road"
We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time
Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong with me
Sometimes goodbyes are not forever
It doesn't matter if you're gone
I still believe in us together
I understand more than you think I can
You have to go out on your own
So you can find your way back home
Letting go is just another way to say
I'll always love you so
Maybe we've only just begun
Maybe the best is yet to come
So i say, be brave. Go on. Don't be afraid to love. What this world needs much of is love sweet love.
Take away love and our earth is a tomb. ~Robert Browning
Comments
~To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.~ Woody Allen
- Author
Thank you Mr Nice for the Woody Allen quote. Nobody say's it like he does.
You're absolutely right. Love is work, just like a garden. If you don't water it, it dies. Honest communication goes a long way. It's when the talking stops, trouble looms in the horizon. Many people, after having been married for many years, feel that their partner is 'supposed to know' what he/she wants. Sorry, folks, unless you're a licensed mind reader, that is so not true. For example, today I may think I want a diamond ring, but then several weeks later I may decide, no, I'd rather have a pool. Just because, by the very nature of having a solid grasp of your partner's likes and dislikes, doesn't mean they never think of other things. Talk. It's so important. :)
- Author
Trish: Yes, honest, regular conversations between couples are so important to keep the marriage healthy and strong. I take that all's yummy at home, and did you get the diamond and the pool? Am waiting for mine!
Hi IV,
Actually, yes, I did. I no longer have the pool since that went with my last home which I sold eight years ago. I do miss it though!
My Granny always used to say, when money is tight, then love goes out the door!
- Author
Trish:Thanks again!
Cindyvine: Yes, Granny knows a lot, we see this tragedy quite a bit don't we? Thanks for your comment.
I agree, love must not only be true but more importantly, it must be alive...
great hub here IV ;p
BTW, like the Beach Kiss painting ;p
You made some good points. People sometimes forget the benefit of a hug or kiss when your wife or husband leaves the house. Love takes work and understanding. Thanks.
- Author
Thank you Truth From Truth.Yes, love takes working.
, Here’s a novel idea for those who like to throw those words around… if you don’t like poeple always being angry with you, stop doing and saying stupid shit, she has a purpose. She isn't just babbling incoherently. I know that from past experience, frequent reading, context, etc.Perhaps, she says throw those words around instead of may unintentionally mislabel because it better indicates the kind of unthinking recklessness and thoughtlessness she senses. She hyperbolizes with always instead of occasionally or even often for a reason. Stop saying stupid shit is intentionally blunt and provocative and she knows that. So, while you're right about our inability to *know* one another, there is a great deal we can determine based on the way we phrase our remarks. I may have completely mischaracterize the above-referenced comment. The textual bridge between author and reader can be navigated in a variety of ways, some of which may have very little in common with author intent. As professionals, however, we're probably less likely to fail completely on our communicative mission.It's a guessing game, as you noted. But we do have clues.Part Two: Delivered as a Fairly Typical MidwesternerI think it borders on bullshit to take offense to poeple calling others elitists or negative when so many folks within that group act like fucking know-it-alls. The labels may not always be right, but it shouldn't be surprising. And calling poeple out over it sounds almost as whiny as the posts and comments that use the labels.You reap what you sow. When poeple run around taking pity on those poor wittle ignorant suckers who buy into models they don't like and talking about how they know a better way , it comes off really snotty. Snot begets snot.It makes more sense to me for poeple to just fess up to being negative elitists. At least that's honest. Being a negative elitist with a temper doesn't make anyone wrong, just like being relentlessly positive doesn't make anyone right. The underlying arguments are the real issue.But we're all smart enough to know that our presentations influence the way poeple perceive those arguments, right?If the arguments are what really matters to us, we need to think about presenting them in ways that don't intentionally push hot buttons. Or, we can accept the fact that poeple are often going to react like asshats.These days, Yo and I apparently share views on much of religion. However, calling out the whiners reminds me of one of the few things I actually learned during my years of enforced Catholicism (my folks felt the need to keep the grandparents happy). There's some biblical recommendation about plucking the beams from your own eyes before going after the splinter's in some other person's eye.We can all walk around pretending as if we don't deserve the name-calling and chastising those who engage in it, or we can look at our own tones and presentations.Part Three: Delivered in the Voice of a Prescription Drug Commercial Disclaimer ReaderI love all of you with all of my little Internet heart and would gladly sprinkle this with happy faces and winks if they didn't irritate me so much. Also, don't confuse you with YOU in many of the above remarks.
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