I Love Us

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik

It's about that time. Love month is coming up, and my soul mate will soon celebrate another birthday milestone. I thought this hub was worth re-writing, and i want to dedicate this to the man who fortified my belief in the reality of unconditional love, tenderly demonstrated daily in my life.

There is no such thing as being unlucky in love, just because you have not found that right relationship. It has nothing to do with luck, but finding that person you are willing to enter, what my husband calls 'the unknown'.

Love found us...

Well, without mentioning how many moons ago, i remember the day when i first met the man who would change my life forever. It was a terribly hot summer day. The idea of winding down with good company over a few drinks was irresistible. My girlfriend had asked me to join her and attend the opening of a regional office of a 'new kid on the block'. A real party animal, it was her naughty way of announcing there was an interesting new man on the scene. Among those invited were people we knew, to include a few society hotties who would not miss a beat to find eligible men. I obliged and thought, why not. Once in a while it's good to go to the zoo, chill and enjoy a little masquerade.

I was in the beauty business and to meet a pretty face or someone handsome was never a big deal. But, i must admit, that afternoon, something else would grab me. Our host, obviously a seasoned traveler, amazing photographs had caught my attention. I found myself drawn to his presentation and admiring images taken from his recent mountain expedition. I really thought, the man had depht and talent. Of course we were introduced, but we hardly spoke during the party. I couldn't tell that when we shook hands, he had done a quick 'click' imagery of me, like a photographer with an invisible camera. How he remembers, till this day whenever we reminisce, everything. He thought the sexiest thing about me that day were my toes exposed by my Grecian inspired open high heels. A fetish? I thought it should have been my perfect tan, a bronze i worked hard to get. Anyway, again, you never know what your Romeo may be looking for. Different strokes for different folks. I tell my friends, the person for you has already been born, and like you, is in wanderlust. Pray you meet!

Now, i can't say the same thing except to remember he was impeccably and appropriately dressed in a nice beige suit and that he had a nice voice. Only one guest knew something was possibly brewing, and that was because he was asked who i was, and if he happened to have my telephone number. Which is why i was surprised, when after a few days, he called to ask for a date. We later admitted to each other, that neither one of us was expecting any earth shaking event on that first date. I was twenty eight years old, divorced, and was not sure i still wanted to get into a serious relationship. I dated, but i always kept my guard up. So, there we were, two pros in the game of love, going through the motion of sizing each other up. Inside me i was thinking, "Ok, you look good, but what's in that brain?" C'mon, bore me. Well if the walls of that little French restaurant could talk! It was as Pedro Calderon dela Barca had described, "When love is not madness, it is not love" .It's hard to explain when love happens almost that instantaneously. You just know, and you know that you know. You waste no time. It is like that one piece in a puzzle. It just fits!

What love is and is not...

Love can be so amazing but it can also be a tricky thing. Our feelings get the better of us, and we expect far too much of it, like magic. How many times will we 'fall in love', only to find out it wasn't really love? It's hard to tell. It would be nice if all it took was one 'shot' at it, and voila! Eureka! "I've got it!, by God, I've got it!". Flawed as we are, we are in for a big disappointment when we think we wil find 'perfect' love. It's one thing to fall crazy in love, and drool like a fool (remember Tom Cruise over Katie Holmes ?), and totally lose it. I love the feeling of falling in love, and who doesn't? I thought i was in love, when i was sixteen years old, with one of my brothers friends who used to come over for band practice. I kept a diary and wrote mushy stuff, which i only imagined. It felt real, and for a while i thought i had found the man who would walk me down the isle. Well, i grew up, and last i saw him, i was shocked that he was a frog and not a prince!

Yes, it's great to feel our hearts flutter, float on cloud 9, and to know that we are the center of someones universe. But, for us who've 'been there, done that, we know feelings are fleeting, and unreliable. A silly fight can easily tip our equilibrium, to make us doubt each other. Which is when commitment steps in, and you call on wisdom to work things out. Love requires WORK. As wonderful as it is, there's no getting away from the process by which love is strengthened and stand the test of time. Because in order to make it for the long haul, it needs two determined people equipped with good building blocks, like respect, commitment, patience, understanding, sensitivity and selflessness.

Love is a partnership, between two people who choose to be one and united, to care for each at all cost. In many ways, it's a lot like making an investment, where each partner puts in 100% (not 50/50) and to keep the fire going. It requires time, creativity, thought, management, of your everyday. It's a lot about giving, sowing and reaping. "Give, and it will be given to you, press down, shaken together and running over". It's reciprocity, which only brings reward and great blessings.

When Forbes comes up with a list of the top most expensive celebrity weddings, and we find names like Brad Pitt and Jenifer Aniston, Tiger Woods and Erin Nordegren, Mariah Carey and Tommy Mottola, Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman, all divorced, we have to ask, what happened? Beauty, fame and fortune, it's like they had it all. They must have believed they were in love, enough to tie the knot and express it in such lavish fashion. What does this tell us? What i surmise from this, if anything is what love is and may not be. Money can't buy anybody love. Not popularity, and neither physical beauty. It's one thing to fall in love, and it's another thing to stay in love. You may feel love for someone, but you have to be IN LOVE with that someone. And to be IN LOVE means, to live and honor each other, forever and ever.

The song "Somewhere Down the Road" describes what happened to our love after being together for two and half years. After being separated for many years, we found each other again, and remarried. And this is just one of love's mysteries. We believe God brought us back, and saved the best for last.

"Somewhere Down the Road"

We had the right love

At the wrong time

Guess I always knew inside

I wouldn't have you for a long time

Those dreams of yours

Are shining on distant shores

And if they're calling you away

I have no right to make you stay

Somewhere down the road

Our roads are gonna cross again

It doesn't really matter when

But somewhere down the road

I know that heart of yours

will come to see

That you belong with me

Sometimes goodbyes are not forever

It doesn't matter if you're gone

I still believe in us together

I understand more than you think I can

You have to go out on your own

So you can find your way back home

Letting go is just another way to say

I'll always love you so

Maybe we've only just begun

Maybe the best is yet to come

So i say, be brave. Go on. Don't be afraid to love. What this world needs much of is love sweet love.

Take away love and our earth is a tomb. ~Robert Browning