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Don't shit where you eat!

Updated on November 13, 2011

Here's what I mean.

I'm sure most of you have heard this adage. In short, a professional relationship has to main at least "mostly professional". As a long time professional guitar teacher, personal trainer, as well as a commissioned salesman- staying within certain parameters in these relationships is supremely important.

As trainer, I have and still do train may very attractive women. Some of them down right knockouts! As their trainer, I owe it to them to remain a professional. That means no inappropriate comments, propositions, or especially where I must touch them from time to time, NO inappropriate touching! Now, as far as comments, I have become very close to some of 'my girls'. Sometimes we'll speak playfully, but they all know that my boundaries are strict!

The BEST way to violate this trust between a man and woman in a professional relationship is to overstep that sexual boundary. Especially where some of these female clients go- they are SICK AS HELL of dumbasses hitting on them while they're training. The friggin gym is for working out! To this day, after 28 years working out in gyms, and quite honestly no idea how many women I've been intimate with, I've still never broken this rule. I did as a young guitar teacher. That turned out great. Tanja and I shared a seven year relationship- living together that whole time.

It usually never works out this way!

As far as my sales work, even more so, I'll never succumb to temptation! These are relationships with people that can not only hurt my business, but sully the name of the company that I work for. My employer is very good to me, and gave me a chance based only knowing me from the gym. In thanks, I am very grateful, and owe it to my superiors (with whom I've become friends with- both of them) to operate with these guidelines.

Enter sex :(

Wow, you REALLY want to screw things up? Sleep with a client. Something throws a switch when a man and woman become intimate. It tears down certain barriers that used to exist, namely the 'yelling, screaming, talking smack about you' barriers. Don't believe me? (Where the Hell have you been?) Just try it. Actually, no need to try it. Everyone has seen the complexion of a man/woman friendship change with the introduction of sex!

To some degree I try to not become friends with my superiors, too. Some of the same things transpire, but in very different ways. It's more difficult as a leader to be friends than it is a subordinate (unless the subordinate is insecure, or has trust issues), as it becomes uncomfortable to issue disciplinary action- especially termination.

I could write pages and pages of explanation here, but WHY? This encompasses the guidelines that a professional must adhere to AS a professional.

I'd like to thank my friend Lauren for inspiring this piece. We'd just had this discussion during a training session yesterday. She's VERY attractive, but trusts me to do the right thing. I will not violate that trust!


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    • rutley profile image

      rutley 6 years ago from South Jersey

      Voted up and thanks!

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

      Very well put. And this goes for a lot of behavior - we can't always just do whatever we feel like at any time. We must treat people with respect and maintain some self respect in the work place and everywhere. It's called being responsible and people who are responsible wind up being quite happy.

    • Leesleez profile image

      Leesleez 6 years ago from New York

      I belong to a gym and I see what your saying. One of the trainers was working with a girl that he is now dating and he's done it before. Voted up.

    • joecseko profile image

      Joe Cseko jr 6 years ago from New York, USA, Earth

      Thank you, Jean. A very nice addition to what I've said. Probably a very good reason you're a level seven commenter!

      Nicosha, I'm afraid I have no idea what you said. 'Discussing'?

      I'll go back to Jean. Thank you :)

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 6 years ago from New Jersey

      I agree it's always a landmine to get intimate with co workers or business associates. Even friendships can be strained if you become friends and then both are up for a promotion for the same job. At work I try to be friendly, but in a sort of aloof way. I talk and join the crowd for lunch some days, but often go off by myself so people get the idea I'm not hanging out with them all the time. It's just safer that way. Good luck!

    • Nicosha Tracy profile image

      Nicosha Tracy 6 years ago from Indianapolis.IN/

      No one should do that . That's discussing . I like your post though