- Gender and Relationships
Don't shit where you eat!
Here's what I mean.
I'm sure most of you have heard this adage. In short, a professional relationship has to main at least "mostly professional". As a long time professional guitar teacher, personal trainer, as well as a commissioned salesman- staying within certain parameters in these relationships is supremely important.
As trainer, I have and still do train may very attractive women. Some of them down right knockouts! As their trainer, I owe it to them to remain a professional. That means no inappropriate comments, propositions, or especially where I must touch them from time to time, NO inappropriate touching! Now, as far as comments, I have become very close to some of 'my girls'. Sometimes we'll speak playfully, but they all know that my boundaries are strict!
The BEST way to violate this trust between a man and woman in a professional relationship is to overstep that sexual boundary. Especially where some of these female clients go- they are SICK AS HELL of dumbasses hitting on them while they're training. The friggin gym is for working out! To this day, after 28 years working out in gyms, and quite honestly no idea how many women I've been intimate with, I've still never broken this rule. I did as a young guitar teacher. That turned out great. Tanja and I shared a seven year relationship- living together that whole time.
It usually never works out this way!
As far as my sales work, even more so, I'll never succumb to temptation! These are relationships with people that can not only hurt my business, but sully the name of the company that I work for. My employer is very good to me, and gave me a chance based only knowing me from the gym. In thanks, I am very grateful, and owe it to my superiors (with whom I've become friends with- both of them) to operate with these guidelines.
Enter sex :(
Wow, you REALLY want to screw things up? Sleep with a client. Something throws a switch when a man and woman become intimate. It tears down certain barriers that used to exist, namely the 'yelling, screaming, talking smack about you' barriers. Don't believe me? (Where the Hell have you been?) Just try it. Actually, no need to try it. Everyone has seen the complexion of a man/woman friendship change with the introduction of sex!
To some degree I try to not become friends with my superiors, too. Some of the same things transpire, but in very different ways. It's more difficult as a leader to be friends than it is a subordinate (unless the subordinate is insecure, or has trust issues), as it becomes uncomfortable to issue disciplinary action- especially termination.
I could write pages and pages of explanation here, but WHY? This encompasses the guidelines that a professional must adhere to AS a professional.
I'd like to thank my friend Lauren for inspiring this piece. We'd just had this discussion during a training session yesterday. She's VERY attractive, but trusts me to do the right thing. I will not violate that trust!